This Isn't Happening to Me
by SwampTreader
Summary: "No, oh please no!" I yelped, tangling my hands in my ebony hair and shut my eyes tight and put my forehead on my knees. This wasn't happening, not to me, not to Toph Beifong! Not to the worlds greatest earthbender! I was stronger than that...I-I I'm supposed to be able to protect myself! "No!" I screamed. How is Toph supposed to cope with something of this magnitude?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: ITS IMPORTANT SO READ IT :): alright. i know this is a more mature theme than i usually write but I've been careful and tried to be discrete about the main subject matter but no so discrete that one doesnt understand what's going on. But I think it's safe to read :) Now onto the reason I wrote this thing! I feel that Toph was never really one to be all girly and romantic and so I felt this might be (mind it being dark, too dark for Nick) how she came to have Lin. Please at least read to the middle of this and if it hasnt caught your attention, by all means you have my permission to scoff and leave :) Enjoy! **

It wasn't happening to me. It wasn't. No way, no how. But as I became more conscious, I knew how much more it actually _was _happening to me.

I had known something wasn't right from the second I woke up. Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I didn't know that I wasn't in my own house. The smell was different. It was smoky, not the earthy smell I was used to. The feel of the air was heavier than my own breezy house. And it was when I sat up that I knew something was horribly wrong. A gasp shot from my lips and I jerked the covers back up to my chest. What was going on? I couldn't remember a thing from last night...wait a minute.

_"I want you to have tea with me," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. From what I could tell, he was taller than me (as most people were) medium build and was fit with lean muscle. From the images I got back from my vibrations, I could tell he had a handsome face, even though I couldn't see any of the fine details. And he sounded like a fun guy. _

_"Oh, why not!" I laughed. _

_"Great! I know this awesome place!" _

_I could feel the air cooling and the sun didn't touch my face as warmly as before; it was dusk. He helped me sit down along a sturdy feeling wall next to a building which I presumed was the teashop he wouldn't stop blathering about the whole walk here. He disappeared inside the teashop but came back out in a matter of a whole two minutes. "Here, just for you" he said handing me a teacup. I felt his heart quicken a little. If I was one of those girly-girls I would say 'How sweet', but I wasn't so it was simply chalked it up as just another observation._

_"So why are we sitting out here?" I asked cradling the little cup between my hands._

_"There's just something about sitting outside in the evening with a good cup of tea," he smiled. _

_"So what else do you do for fun?" I chuckled taking a sip of the warm tea. It was good, but had a bitter after-bite, but I wasn't going to tell him that and embarrass him that he had picked a bad tea shop for a date. Was it a date? I didn't know but being in the company of someone upbeat was enough for me._

_"Nothing interesting really, I work and...well, that's basically it."_

_"Must be some job for it to be so fulfilling that you don't need to do anything else to have fun," I blurted. _

_He laughed. He had a nice laugh. "Well when you work down at the docks there's always something interesting going on." That was a bit of a lie, I could feel it. I took another swig of tea. Maybe if I could just muscle it down it'd be gone sooner and I wouldn't have to suffer as long. This seemed to please him. "You like it?"_

_"It's different, that's for sure," I half mumbled taking another drink. It seemed like this little cup was bottomless...well considering the after-bite was only getting stronger and stronger the more I drank. I decided I couldn't stomach the last mouthful just yet. I could just imagine the contents settling at the bottom in a thick sludge. It made me shudder a little. We sat in a comfortable silence for a moment before he spoke again._

_"I don't want to sound pushy or anything," he started, (that also felt like a little lie; he absolutely meant to be pushy), "But I was just wondering...oh this sounds so stupid, but just exactly how blind are you? Like, I know of some people who are only a little blind."_

_"Completely. I'm blinder than a dungeon Wolf Bat in the sunlight," I replied cheerily._

_"Oh, sorry," he said in a sincere voice. But it felt like a lie too. This guy was getting sketchier and sketchier by the minute. Nothing I couldn't handle, I'm the greatest earth bender to ever walk the face of the Earth for crying out loud! "So how do you get around so well?"_

_"I can sense vibrations through the ground with earth bending," I said simply._

_"Cool!" That wasn't a lie. I let out a long breath and started to feel sleepy. We sat for a few more moments quietly. I figured he was probably watching the sun set while I was staring unseeingly into a cup of what I didn't want to swallow anymore of. Oh well, down the hatch. Ughhhh. That was awful, and to make it worse the tea had gotten cold. In my younger years, if I hadn't already insulted him on it, that last mouthful would have been enough to send me over the edge and tell him that this tea was worse than rotten swamp water that had been stuck in a water skin for weeks. And I had tasted that before. However, in my twentieth year I had finally learned to control my tongue...well at least a little better. I felt my eyelids dropping. Man when did I get so tired? It had been a long day after all._

And then after that thought...I remember my own special sight being foggy and that was it. I couldn't remember a _single_ thing after that. But right now I had bigger fish to fry than trying to figure out how I got here. I needed to find some clothes and get the heck out of this place. When my feet hit the floor I was relieved to find that I could see. But, my vision wasn't exactly crystal clear (but it would do for now) and my head was absolutely pounding. I searched the room for my clothes and finally my fingers brushed the familiar feel of my tunic and pants. I yanked them on and gave a good hard kick to the floor with one foot and to the wall with the other. I could see the entire layout of the building...it was just a big single-level house really. I took off and tore out of the seemingly empty house. It took me a while to gather my thoughts and try to figure out just where I was.

As I pounded along I realized that I wasn't in the little city I called home. I was in a tiny village somewhere...but the landscape was familiar so that was good.

I headed towards the woods for cover in case anyone was after me and then took a good look at my surroundings. Good, the city I was familiar with wasn't so far away and that meant my little home outside of town wasn't too much further.

The walk back was agonizing. My head hurt so bad I thought I was just going to fall over and die. I had to stop and blow chunks several times and eventually it became painful dry heaves. I was going to be sore tomorrow. Speaking of which, what time was it anyways? Oh, there it was. As the thought crossed my mind I apparently walked out from the woods and the sun hit my face. It was late afternoon. I would make it home before dark, no problem (not that it really mattered anyway) but I still had a good two hour walk home on foot.

By the time I stepped in my cool house made of mostly of stone, I was fuming. If I was Sparky, I'd be breathing fire. My head was _still _killing me and after drawing a blank after tea with...what was his name?...(Jai Ling that's what it was!) I was furious with myself for not knowing what exactly in the flying lemurs happened to me in the last fourteen hours! And when I finally sunk down onto the floor of my kitchen it started to hit me and reality was suddenly a cruel fist that just slammed into my chest.

I was fitting the pieces together in my mind. "Oh no," I breathed. Suddenly I had realized I was drinking foul tasting tea with a total stranger, I lost all recollection of what happened after that last drink and I wake up in a house three hours away, nude.

And then panic set it. I had known something was up but I was too focused on my splitting headache and getting home to realize something was wrong with...me...with my _body_. "No, oh please no!" I yelped, tangling my hands in my ebony hair and shut my eyes tight and put my forehead on my knees. This wasn't happening, not to me, not to Toph Beifong! Not to the worlds greatest earthbender! I was stronger than that...I-I I'm supposed to be able to protect myself! "No!" I screamed. And it was then that I started crying. I hadn't cried in ages, I was too strong for that. Everything inside my body just collapsed in on itself and I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I couldn't move. I felt nothing and yet everything at the same time. The realization of what happened to me made me sick and I had to run into the bathroom and vomit. I rinsed my mouth out and slumped back onto the marble-tiled floor.

I curled in on myself and wound my arms as tight around my knees as they would go. It was everything I could do to keep myself from shattering. It wasn't supposed to happen like this! It wasn't supposed to! I was supposed to be in love, I was supposed to be married before it ever happened! And I felt like everything, _everything _had been stolen from me. I felt ashamed, I felt embarrassed, I felt like I was _worthless._ I felt...wrong.

I scraped my nails over my arms and realized I had to clean myself, to take a bath anything to get the smoky smell of him off of me. I had never felt like a particularly unclean person considering I was covered in a healthily coating of earth since I started traveling with Aang, but this was different. I drew the water in the tub and jumped in, desperate to get in the water and start scrubbing even if the tub wasn't full and the water was still cold. I was still balling my eyes out as reached blindly for the sea sponge on the edge of the tub and dunked it in the water. I grabbed the bar of soap and rubbed it on the sponge and scrubbed until my skin was raw. I shut the water off and leaned against the back of the tub, my skin already sore from washing even before the water had reached my shoulders. I put my hands over my face and just cried until my chest was sore I couldn't force out anymore tears.

I got out of the tub and dried myself off tenderly with a soft towel. I would have regretted scrubbing my skin so hard, but I couldn't really focus on something so menial right now. And to my utter horror, I didn't feel clean. I still felt dirty. I grabbed my clothes off the floor and walked into my bedroom and tossed them into the fireplace. I changed into clean underclothes and a super large tunic I just so happened to have in my dresser. I lit the fire and curled up in the center of my bed and listened to my clothes burn.

I was exhausted and yet I sleep wouldn't find me. I wished I could just sleep forever, and really it wasn't reasonable to think I would magically fall asleep as soon as I laid down, but it didn't keep me from wishing. Then I caught a very familiar smell. It was faint, but it was there. Sea and wood smoke. I buried my nose into the collar of the soft tunic. Sokka. It was one of Sokka's he had forgotten here months ago when everyone came to visit. Of course I had found it after they had all left on Appa and decided it was soft and a good nightgown so I kept it and wore it. Somehow that little comfort allowed me fall into a deep sleep.

Of course, I couldn't be so lucky. I was plagued with horrible nightmares and found myself sweating and shaking by the time I came to. My headache was gone, that was good news. But the bad news was, life had to coming swimming back in to my mind and I shuddered as I scrambled from bed and went to take another bath. I waited for the water to fill and I cringed when the cool water stung my irritated skin. I only used the soap bar this time and rubbed small, tedious circles over my arms, hoping to soothe my burning flesh a least a little.

I got out after I felt my toes and fingers wrinkle. I felt a sob wrack my body as I realized I felt no cleaner than I did when I woke up yesterday morning. I felt utterly destroyed. I didn't bother to appease my growling stomach and went straight back to bed and lay awake for hours. I felt the sunlight peek through my curtains and touch my face. Eventually it shifted away after a while and I was left alone for the time being. I laid there all day in a numb stupor trying to process what had happened to me and I couldn't come to grips with it.


	2. Chapter 2

My appetite had always been a part of my personality that usually won out over anything else I was feeling (if it became veracious enough). But when I had made a small dinner for myself I could only force down a few bites. I felt nauseous, unable to get the realization of my predicament out of my head. I pushed the plate away and tried as hard as I could to keep my stomach from returning what little I had eaten. I was glad when I had made it all the way down to the creek behind my house without hurling. I felt around for any sign of people and when I found none, I pulled my clothes off and walked into the cool water. Maybe if I bathed in something untainted my human hands I would feel clean. But when I dragged myself from the shallow water, I knew it was useless. I pulled my clothes on and curled up on the bank. No one ever came this far out of the city (and certainly not unannounced onto Toph Beifong's land) so I felt at least a little comforted that someone wouldn't find me out here like this. But when my thoughts drifted back to everything, I felt so sick again at the thought of what happened to me, I couldn't hold down what little food I had managed to eat. I felt like I was just going to die.

The next two weeks went by in much the same way. I had settled into a numbness and had put walls around all memories of that night so I wouldnt remember. I couldn't eat much and I took usually two or three baths a day, desperate to feel clean again, but all the while knowing it was hopeless. I slept a lot and avoided going to the city to get food. It didn't matter, I would have plenty left in the cupboards considering how little I could manage to eat anymore.

And then another week went by and then another. I had finally become a least a little less of a zombie and was able to take notice of the birds singing outside of my windows again. But I didn't take much joy in their songs anymore.

I awoke one morning feeling in a good mood, well a good mood compared to what I had been feeling. I allowed myself to think of going back into the city to get some necessities. I even let myself dwell on something funny that Sokka had done years ago, even if I couldn't quite remember what it was, but I think I smiled a little.

It was that day that my whole world came crashing down around me again. And if I thought things fell hard last time, I had another thing coming.

I went to use the restroom and then I remembered something. How long had it been? I frantically counted the days up in my head. No. I washed my hands and laid out on my bed. Maybe it was just one of those things, maybe my body just didn't feel like having a period this month and that was all it was. Yeah that was all it was. I'd give it another month and then I would allow myself to jump to conclusions.

But when I woke up the next morning, I puked my guts out. I brushed my teeth and tried to keep myself from shaking. I just had a little flu bug. That was all.

For a month I woke up every morning before the sun had even risen and vomited. On the last day of the month, I sat against the wall of my bathroom and cried. No period again. My entire little body shook as I sobbed. It couldn't be happening to me. There was life growing inside of me, no matter how badly I didn't want it there. I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face behind my knees. What was I supposed to do?

I had to get help, I didn't know what to do! It wasn't exactly like I had been planning on having a baby anytime soon! Maybe I could send a message to Katara. No that was a terrible idea! Then Sokka and Aang would find out. No, they couldn't know anyone had done something to me, I was too ashamed of myself to tell them. Well...I had heard of those people who could do something and make it go away...

No. Absolutely not. I wasn't going to get rid of this little life just because it was inconvenient, albeit _incredibly_ inconvenient. Even if it was always going to be a reminder of that man I wasn't going to kill this thing inside of me. But I had to do something, I had to tell someone. And right then there was a knock at my door. My heart started beating out of my chest. I hadn't been around people since that night and there was a fear-stricken part of my mind that it would be _him _at the door.

But no...I recognized that heartbeat. I wasn't sure if I was elated or if I was horrified he was here. But I opened the door anyway.

"Hi Sokka," I choked out.

"Hey, I thought I was in the area and I thought I'd stop by!" He said in his usual chipper voice. I lowered my burning cheeks and turned my back to him and walked into the living room. How could I tell him? Maybe he wouldn't notice anything was wrong. Well they would find out eventually, it wasn't like you just hide a 9 month pregnant belly.

"How's everyone doing?"

"Great! Katara and Aang have kind of hit a dull spot on all the traveling and have been back home for three months. If you ask me I'd say he'll be proposing to her within the year. And I heard Zuko is-" he stopped short. His head was in one of the cupboards. "Geez Toph, don't you ever eat anymore?" I folded my hands in my lap. _No._

"Well, you know, I haven't really gone to town recently but I'm fine. Anyways about Zuko," I prompted hoping to draw his attention away from my lack of food. I frowned when my voice rang out hollow and void of much of anything but sadness.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked turning around and looking at me.

_No._ "Yeah, I'm fine. So how long can you stay?"

"For as long as you'll have me. I cleared my schedule to come visit you. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Of course I am, I'm the greatest earth bender ever!" _What a joke. How could I possibly even call myself that when I can't even watch my own back._ "So anyways about Zuko."

"Oh yeah! Well the last time we visited all three of us kind of noticed that Mai and Zuko were like_ super_ happy."

"What's so strange about that?"

"Well, its not really but come one, we're talking about Mr. and Mrs. Gloomy here." Toph felt a little smile grace her lips. "So anyways, Katara said she noticed they were all touchy feely and Mai in particular seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood. And being that I'm a genius and all, I predict that they should be announcing news of an heir anytime now." And that's what made me want to vomit. My stomach flip flopped and I felt all the dread of everything that had happened in the last two months come back to the front of my mind. I turned my face away from him and willed myself not to cry.

"Whoa, what's wrong, Toph?" I felt him sit on the couch next to me just as a tear slid down my cheek.

"Uh, nothing, yay babies! What good news! How 'bout that."

"Why are you crying?" Well there was no denying I was crying so that plan was shot down.

"I'm just uh so happy for them."

"The Toph Beifong I know does not _cry _because she's _happy._"

"Well, I do now."

"Don't lie to me." His voice was serious and completely void of any kind of humor. It made me feel pinned. I got up and turned my back to him.

"I don't want to talk about it ok...at least not right now."

"Alright, but promise me that if you ever need anything, just let me know ok."

"I promise." It wasn't something I wanted to agree to but maybe it would get him off my back.

"I propose we go into town and get some grub. I'm starving."

I felt a sarcastic comment come to my teeth, but I swallowed it. I could tell Sokka was braced for one but it never came. "I don't know if I really want to go to town..."

"Aw come on, Toph!" He grinned grabbing my wrist. I flinched. Well that was different, since when was I nervous around Sokka? He seemed to notice and let go of me. "You need some groceries."

"Oh, alright."

And so we went into the little city a few miles from my humble abode. The young warrior went absolutely crazy and bought just about everything edible that was in sight. I followed along behind him closely. I wrapped my arms around my middle and hid my face. I felt like everyone knew. I felt like every single person in the market was staring at me. I knew it was impossible to tell anything right now, but I felt like I was being shamed because of what I allowed that man to do to me. It was my fault it happened.

"I think that should do it. You know I've been thinking about buying an ostrich-horse. I bet one would come in handy," he said happily, our arms laden with packages of food.

"Yeah," I agreed absent-mindedly. I was really too preoccupied to pay close attention to what he was saying. Suddenly I slammed into his back.

"Something's up Toph," he argued as I regained my balance.

"I'm fine, let's just keep going."

"No. You're not the same."

"No I'm not the same," I snapped. That seemed to shut him up. We entered my cool house a little while later and went to putting everything away in the cupboards. My mind drifted back to Jai Ling. I broke out in a cold sweat and shivered. "I'm going to take a bath, make yourself at home." His silence was enough to tell me he thought it very odd I was suddenly super hygienic. _If only he knew._

Bathing was really more of a routine now, it made me feel no cleaner, no more free of Jai Ling but it was almost like a security blanket. I got out and pulled on a pair of pants that reached mid thigh and put on Sokka's tunic he left so long ago. It was a more literal security blanket than bathing was. When I was able to snug down in the folds of the too-big shirt, I felt just a little safer.

Evening was falling and Sokka and I were sitting on the couch under a light blanket as the house cooled. He was going on about some great hunt he had masterminded. I was glad he was happy, I was glad he was succeeding. It was also good to hear that my old friends were doing so well too. But at the same time I was sad because I knew _my_ life was never going to be carefree and normal again all because of one stupid move I made. I just had to go out with him and get myself into a whole heap of trouble. I shivered and tucked my nose under the edge of the blanket.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed now," I said yawning. I was always so tired these days. "The guest bed is made up for you, help yourself to anything you find." I got up and stopped in the doorway. "But you do that anyways," I remarked, a little smile tugging up the corner of my mouth. He gave me a big smile back and I went to my room and curled up into a tight ball under my covers. I drifted off into a light sleep but I woke up only a few minutes later. I turned over and stretched out, pops running down the first few inches of my spine. I gave a contented sigh and closed my eyes. But sleep would not come. My mind started reeling. I put a hand on my stomach shakily._ What was I going to name it? Would this baby be a boy or a girl? And how would I raise him without a dad? I could always be both; I was just as tough as a guy, wasn't that the only things dads had to do? Be strong and protect the family? I could do that, no problem. I turned out fine and I didn't really have parents for the last ten years of my life._

_But how was I supposed to be a mom?_ Panic settled in my stomach and I started to shake. Tears slipped down my face as I choked my sobs into silence so I wouldn't wake Sokka up. _I was going to screw this kid up. He wouldn't stand a chance with such a failure like me. I was so stupid. How could I have let this happen? It was my fault, all my fault. _A short sob escaped my mouth and I hoped my best friend didn't hear from down the hall. I found chills crawling up my arms and I went and stoked the fire. I pulled my legs up onto the comfy chair in the corner closest to the fire place. I tucked an afghan around me and buried my face in it. Even though Katara had made it for me as a house warming present it didn't smell of the Southern Water Tribe like Sokka's shirt did.

My shoulders shook as I cried. I hated myself so much. It was my fault he raped me. I should have been smarter, I should have been looking out for myself. And now I was pregnant. I allowed myself the pain, I deserved it for being so stupid. "It's my fault," I whispered. Even though I already knew it, vocalizing it made me curl in on myself in desperation and agony. "I deserve this."_ But you don't_, I thought putting my hand on my belly.

"What do you deserve?" My hand yanked back from my stomach even though he couldn't see if through the blanket.

"Uh, nothing," I fumbled. "Just a bad dream," I said wiping my eyes. He came to stand in front of me. I shrunk down further into the chair; I could feel him looming over me. I stretched my leg down and let my toes graze the floor. "When did you get so tall?" I blurted. I pressed my toes down flat. "And so...buff?"

"I've become a better hunter," he shrugged. "So you're ok then?" I nodded. "Well if you want to talk about your dream we can."

"No, no, it's no big deal. Just some...um, old memories."

"Yeah," he settled on the edge of my bed. "I have nightmares about Sozin's comet all the time." I couldnt feel him any more. He must have his legs propped up on the frame. "Especially about the airships."

"Me too. Except instead of Suki bringing that ship under us, I fall," I said. I conveniently left out the part where Sokka rolls over and laughs before he lets go of me. I hadn't had that dream in a while. New nightmares had plagued me recently. I heard him let out a long breath. It was quiet for a long time. "So what woke you up?" Silence. "Sokka? Sokka? Snoozles?" I only heard his deep, steady breathing. I walked over to where he was laying back on my bed and threw the afghan that was on my shoulder over him. I wouldn't be able to sleep anyways. I went out to the living room and balled up on the couch. The blanket that had been tossed aside into the corner of the sofa was cold when I pulled it over me. I got settled and just when I thought I might be able to sleep, I suddenly had to pee...really bad.

I groaned and threw the blanket aside and went and used to restroom.

I laid awake on the couch for a long time. I would be able to support another person financially just fine. Being a war hero came with its perks. _I wonder what he'll look like_. I lifted the hem of my shirt with my fingers and skimmed over my stomach. And then it hit me. _I could always find an adoptive family, then maybe my kid wouldn't get screwed up by my bad parenting. Maybe, just maybe, I could find a family that really wanted a kid but couldn't have one of their own. I could make sure they were really good people and if I went about it correctly, maybe I could talk the gang into helping me find someone really great for the baby. I trusted their opinions a lot. I bet Sugar Queen knew some really awesome people. This might just work. But I'd have to come to terms with telling them what happened to me._ And then my thread of the best mood I'd been in two months went plummeting. _What if they hated me?_ I was overcome by a thick, heavy wave of shame. I hugged myself and shut my eyes tighter. A few tears slipped out. _And what if Sokka-_ oh no I couldnt handle that. I wouldnt be able to live knowing he hated me. He was my very best friend. And If I lost him...I might die. They wouldn't want me anymore if I told them. I was bad now. I was some poisonous, tainted person now. I wasn't good enough, I was worthless.


	3. Chapter 3

I finally stopped crying some hours later. I let out a long breath and felt myself slipping into sleep.

My eyes snapped open as my stomach flipped. I swallowed hard and shut my throat up. I didn't want to get sick again. I hated it with every fiber of my being. But nature was stronger than my will. Nausea rolled under the curve of my ribs. I felt the bile coming and I sat up as quickly as I could without further upsetting my stomach. I got to my feet shakily and then I felt it coming, and coming fast. I abandoned my careful movements and darted to the toilet. I shoved Sokka aside and bolted into the bathroom. "Toph, I had to pee!" He whined.

I slumped over the toilet and my stomach clenched, forcing what little was in my body up my throat and into the water below me. I heaved again and then I felt cool hands on my neck and jaw. Sokka held my hair away from my face. My body lurched again. I knew it would be nothing but acid and dry heaves from this point on. "Oh, Toph," he mumbled sympathetically. The hand that was on my forehead left my skin and I felt him lean away from me. I felt so embarrassed, I must have been totally grossing him out. And it only made me feel all the more awful about myself. But then a cool damp cloth rested across my neck and I instantly felt the nausea recede a little. I wretched stomach acid and it burnt the back of my throat as it came up.

I tried to force down the next heave but it came anyways. Spit and vomit dripped from my bottom lip as I drew in a ragged breath. My body gave a few half lurches and I finally felt safe enough to let my butt rest back on my heels. Sokka brushed my hair back a little tighter into the ball he was holding it in at the nape of my neck. A bit of cold water from the rag trickled down my spine and I shivered. Strong fingers gripped my shoulder and he gave me a gentle, comforting squeeze. He helped me stand up on my shaky legs and I gripped the edge of the sink. I washed my mouth out and brushed. "Come on," he said slinging one of my arms over his shoulder. I tried to shake him off when he wrapped his arm around me.

"I'm not crippled you know," I protested.

"Just let me help you, Toph, you're sick."

"I know that," I mumbled. Once I was in bed he covered me up with the blankets and I couldn't help a relieved sigh leave my lips when I found I had settled into the warm spot he had been in moments ago. I pulled the blankets up over my nose and laid on my side. He pressed his palm against my forehead.

"You're not feverish," he said softly, slightly confused. "Maybe it was something we ate. But I don't feel sick," he trailed off. I remained silent. I closed my eyes and pretended to be falling asleep; maybe he would leave me alone. The detective side of him quickly showed itself and he rambled for a few more minutes, trying to deduce an explanation as to why I was had just puked my guts up.

I was thoroughly surprised when I woke up with the after sun on my face. I had gotten a few hours of totally peaceful sleep. I sat up and yawned arching my back, feeling the satisfying pops at the top of my back. "I made you breakfast." I jumped and found the meteor bracelet on my arm quiver, prepared to fling at my attacker.

"You could get killed doing that," I grumbled, "But thanks," I said a little more gently. I felt the bed depress at my hip and he placed a bowl in my hands.

"I thought you might be able to handle some rice, it should be easy on your stomach." I swallowed and felt it burn against the sore spot in my throat.

"You know you really don't have to do this, you're my guest, and I feel fine now anyways," I said as I chewed.

"Hey, it's the least I could do." We were quiet until I got down about three quarters of the bowl. It was the most I'd eaten in one sitting in a long time. I felt a little twinge of happiness about it.

"How about a walk down to the creek? Maybe you could get us some fresh fish Mr. Provider," I said punching him in the arm. I heard him chuckle.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'll let you get ready," he said taking the bowl from me and leaving the room. I stood in front of my open dresser draw. _How hadn't I noticed before?_ There was a little swell in the space just above my hips. I could feel it pushed tight against the fitted top I was wearing as an undershirt. I marveled at the little bump, running my palm over it. I wondered what was going on in there. I reached into my dresser and felt around for a light, flowy dress I had. It would hide the little protrusion for now. I knew I couldn't just tell Sokka I was getting fat because he knew I hadn't been eating much lately. But this way he wouldn't even notice. I slipped it on over my head and made sure everything felt straight and walked out into the living room where he was waiting for me at the door with a fishing spear in his hand.

The breeze rustled the hem of the dress around my ankles as we walked down to the creek together. I sat comfortably on the ground as I heard him slip off a rock and into the shallow water. But then after that he was silent, and even my sharp ears didn't pick him up. However, every time he shifted on the rock he was standing on I could feel him. I felt the tip of the spear hit the creek bed and with his shriek of triumph I knew he had gotten a fish. "This is the biggest fish I've ever seen!"

"Let me see then," I called. He hit the bank and I felt something large flopping around not far from my feet. "Not bad there, Chief," I smiled.

"Hey, my dad's still alive and well," he fired back. I smiled and shook my head.

"You know, I bet I could make some leechy bread and lemur tails and we would have a wonderful meal," he said. I could practically hear him drooling.

"Lemur tails? I've never hear of those before."

"You take a Gen Root stalk and roll it in powdered sugar and put a few stripes of chocolate around the top, and ba-da-bing, Lemur tails!"

"Sounds great," I smiled.

"You think you're up for it?" I frowned.

"Sokka, I'm not flu-ish ok."

"Alright, alright, just checkin'."

I got up and picked the hem of my dress up and waded into the water until it came to my knees. It was cold but a nice shock all the same. I felt the sand shift under my feet. A sharp piece of shell found its way into the arch of my foot but it didn't hurt, my feet were much to tough. With years of practice I could see in sand almost as well when I was on solid ground so it was easy to tell when Sokka waded in after me barefoot. "Isn't the fish gonna get away?"

"Naw, he's dead."

"I see."

"So did you sleep well?" He asked awkwardly, his heart beating a little faster. That was interesting.

"Yeah, no bad dreams. Thanks, you know, for helping me out this morning...and for breakfast," I said rubbing the back of my neck.

"No problem, it's what friends are for right? To help eachother out." _If only he would stay by my side when he found out..._

"Yeah, definitely. Um...so, I mean we'll always be friends right?" I couldnt help but ask, the need to know was too painful not to ask

"Of course, Toph, we're best friends."

"Even if something really crazy happens?"

"Well yeah, like I said that's what friends are for." I could hear the confusion creeping into his voice.

"Even if I did something really bad?" I turned away from him because I could feel the tears starting to sting my eyes.

"Toph what are you getting at?" I didn't answer him. "Toph?" He put his hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him. "What's wrong?" He said. I felt him shift his weight onto both of his feet.

"I just don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me. Why would you think that?"

"Because I- I'm-... I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok, Toph, I'm done. I'm done. You've been so messed up and I've only been here for a _day_! What is wrong?"

"I told you I don't want-"

"Stop putting me off. Monkey feathers woman! Just tell me what's going on; I'm not going to be mad at you!"

"You sure sound mad," I snapped.

"Because I'm worried!"

I took in a few steadying breaths. "I just can't right now, ok. I- I promise I'll tell you soon, I promise."

He let out a long, hissing sigh. "Alright… ok."

"I'm sorry. I just had to know you'd stick with me."

"Are you _apologizing?_" He asked in disbelief. I punched him in the arm.

"Yeah, get over it."

"There's the Toph I know," he smiled. "Come on, I'm starving and my feet are going numb."

I tried to elbow my way into the counter space and help him but he absolutely wouldn't have it so I resolved to sit at the kitchen table and wait. "You know you _are _my guest and _I_ should be the one cooking."

"Last time you cooked-"

"Yeah I know, I know, you were sick for a week, but I've gotten better, trust me."

"Somehow, I can't convince my stomach to believe that." I rolled my eyes and kicked my feet up on the chair beside me. "So Aang decided he was going to go tiger-seal hunting," he said over the sizzling of something in the pan.

"I bet that was interesting."

"Oh yes and in more ways than one. Did you know that tiger-seal hunting can be considered an official courting gesture in the Southern Water Tribe?"

"Oh really now?" I said perking up.

"Absolutely. If the man brings back the kill to his girl it mean he wants to start formally courting her."

"And did Twinkletoes bring it back to Katara?"

"He did. Literally the whole village knew, it was the hot gossip for a week. You know you really should come visit, it's gotten a whole lot bigger. We even have some buildings like the ones at the North Pole now."

"Sounds like you guys are doing pretty well."

"We've got a lot of new families starting now. We're growing pretty quick. It's so much different than what I was used to growing up."

"I bet. So tell me more about Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen."

"Well, even better than the tiger-seal hunt, he made her a shawl made out of pelts. When a man makes a woman something out of pelts it means that he wants to provide for her. He even went and tracked the thing down, Toph! That's pretty serious!"

"What did he make it out of?"

"A caribou-lion. But I'll tell you one thing, he better not announce their engagement before I get back! Or by Appa, I'll have his head," Sokka barked slamming something against the counter. "Or better yet he shouldn't even ask her before he gets my permission face to face!"

I couldn't help but laugh at little at his antics. Even after all these years of growing up and maturing, he was still that goofy sixteen year old I knew so well. We talked about everything and nothing as he cooked. "Sokka this is delicious! I never knew you were such a good cook!" I said through a mouthful of fish.

"Well now that I'm out on my own it's not like I can rely on Katara for every meal," he chuckled. We finished eating and washed the dishes together. We settled down on the couch under a blanket and Sokka read to me from a book he had brought with him. It was relaxing and I was drifting off. I flinched when I felt myself being jostled. It felt like I was suspended and it made me panic for a second before I realized Sokka was holding me. He laid me down on my bed and tugged the covers over me.

**A Few Hours Later-**

I was sleeping peacefully, my foot having fallen off the edge of the low bed, just grazing the floor. My eyes shot open. Someone was in the room with me. I pressed my foot onto the floor. No. No! It was him! Jai Ling was in my room! I swung my other leg around to stand up but I was tackled backwards. He pinned my wrists together and I could feel his breath on my face. My heart started beating out of my chest, adrenaline heated my blood and made my head swim. "Hey Toph," he said softly. "How has my favorite girl been?"


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: And it all comes out this chapter! Should I make these chapters longer? I have bookkoos of material I'll be posting (apparently) and depending on whether I can get to a computer that's actually may be multiple chapter updates per day- at least for a couple more chapters How are you guys liking this story thus far?**

**Recap:** _It was him, Jai Ling was in my room. I swung my other leg around to stand up but I was tackled backwards. He pinned my wrists together and I could feel his breath on my face. My heart started beating out of my chest, adrenaline heated my blood and made my head swim. "Hey Toph," he said softly. "How has my favorite girl been?"_

I struggled under him, I flexed my arms, the meteor bracelet was still there but I could get it to budge for some reason. He pressed his lips gently to mine.

"No," I choked out weakly, I was too terrified to be mad at my cracking voice. He kissed the side of my mouth and moved down my chin and left a trail of gentle kisses along my jaw. "No, stop." Tears sprung to my eyes.

If I didn't get ahold of some kind of earth soon, who knows what could happen. He ignored me and kissed me again, pushing his lips against mine. "Stop," my voice was a little stronger this time. His fingers clamped down on my wrists making the bones roll against each other, it hurt.

"Be quiet," he growled. "Or he'll hear you."

_He? Who was he talking about?_ Sokka! Sokka was here! He could help me! He suddenly grew brave and kissed me deeply. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't breath. I wasn't kissing him back but he was forcing my lips to move against his with the pressure. "Stop!" I screamed jerking my face away from him. He slapped my cheek and I felt my neck crack with the force. I tried to squirm out from under his grasp but my little frame just couldn't budge the grip he had on my wrists. "Stop it now!" I yelled again. Suddenly one of his hands loosened from my hands and clamped down on my neck. "No!" I screamed. "No! No! No!" My cries struggled and clawed through my constricted windpipe.

"Toph."

"Please!"

"Toph!

"No, no please, don't hurt me! I'm-"

"Toph!"

"Please, I'm pregnant, stop!"

"Toph!" My eyes shot open from the nightmare. Someone was looming over me, I could feel it. A strangled cry ripped through my throat as I shot backwards, my spine slamming into the headboard. I could feel sweat rolling down my temple. "Toph, it's me, it's Sokka, it's alright. You're ok. It was just a dream." _Sokka, it was just Sokka._ My heaving breaths turned into sobs the instant I recognized him. I covered my face with my hands and cried harder than I think I ever had. They weren't cries of despair but of sheer terror. My whole body shook violently and uncontrollably. I felt like I couldn't breath, I had to force air into my lungs. I felt him crawl up next to me and he put his arms around me and held me tight, trying to still my shaking frame. "Shh, it's ok, shh. I'm here, you're alright." A horrible, strangled sounds that was between a scream and a sob left my lips and I buried my face into his chest. "I was so scared. I thought- I thought-" I stuttered.

"It was only a dream. It wasn't real. It never happened."

"But it did, it did happen!" I cried. He didn't ask me what I was talking about. It took a long time for me to stop shaking and for my crying to settle down to a few sniffles and hiccups.

"What happened, Toph, what's been bothering you? Tell me, please," he pleased gently.

I leaned away from him and put my hands in my face. I was so ashamed, so, so ashamed. "I met this guy two months ago in town. He asked me to come and have tea with him, so I did. He was so nice, I never even thought-" I stopped myself and took in a shuddering breath. "The tea tasted awful and he kept lying about stuff and then-then the next thing I know I'm waking up somewhere. I didn't know where I was. I was in a bed and I-I didnt have any clothes on and-"

"Wait. What? What are you telling me?" He said grabbing my shoulders. "What did he-"

"He raped me, Sokka!" I cried. Everything went painfully quiet.

"W-what?" He choked.

I was crying again. "And now I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with _his _baby!" I felt him jump up from the bed. "I'm sorry, Sokka! I'm so sorry!" I flinched when I heard something hit the wooden door. "It's my fault, I'm sorry!" I cried.

"What?" He gasped. Suddenly he was beside me, his hands cupping my face and making me face him. "Listen to me, Toph; this is not your fault." He moved his hand to my arms. "It is _not _your fault, you hear me!?" He gave me a shake.

"Don't you dare think that, Beifong! It wasn't your fault. Oh, Toph," he murmmered pulling me against his chest. I twisted my hands in his shirt and cried. _He knew and now he was going to leave. He wouldn't be my very best friend anymore. _And I cried for it. I thought I felt something wet hit my bare shoulder. "I'll kill him, Toph, I'll kill him," he growled tearily. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. Why did it have to happen to you?"

_There it was._ He didn't want me anymore. I didn't blame him. _I_ didn't even want me anymore. I cried and cried, clinging to him desperately. He couldn't leave me, I would die without him. I couldn't do this by myself, I needed him! But I knew he hated me. "When are you leaving?" I sniffled

"What?" He pushed me back and I felt his eyes on my face.

"You probably hate me now."

"I don't hate you, why would you even think that? You're closer than family, Toph, I couldn't hate you." Relief spread over me, but just the same, he probably didn't want to stick around. _Isn't that what guys did? Didn't they just leave when things got complicated._

"You didn't answer my question," I breathed.

"I'm not leaving you. You need help and I'm going to give it to you. And don't think you're just some charity case, Toph because you're not. You're my best friend and I'm going to protect you. I'm not going to abandon you."

"But why would you want me?" I wiped my eyes. "I'm not me anymore...I'm his now. I can't ever go back to the way I was. I'm ruined. I'm worthless."

"You don't belong to _anyone_. And you're still the perfect girl I've know for the last ten years." He took my face in his hands again. "Do you understand me? You're still perfect Toph, you're not damaged, you're not ruined, you're not tainted, you're not worthless. You're still perfect." I didn't know what to say._ He wasn't leaving me? He would stay? _I couldn't believe it. But I was so happy I was proven wrong. He leaned against the headboard and gingerly pulled me into his lap. I bent my knees, letting my feet rest on the bed and I leaned my shoulder into the cradle of his arm against his body. It was quiet and still for a long time. I felt him take in a breath. "So there's a baby in there?" He asked touching his fingertips lightly to my stomach.

"Yeah," I said quietly, my voice rough from crying and screaming.

"That's why you were sick yesterday morning wasn't it?" I nodded. "Wow," he breathed. "I can't believe it."

"Me neither." I didn't know when we fell asleep but I woke up with my back pressed against his chest, his arm slung protectively across the front of my shoulders, his fingers curled around the arm on the side I was laying on. I stretched my legs out and cracked my toes. I felt him stir beside me and take a deep breath as he woke up.

"Morning," I rasped.

"Hey," he greeted back. He unwound his arm around me and sat up. I snugged down into the blankets and pulled my knees to my chest. "You ok?"

"Yeah," I said. There was a beat. "Actually, I lied," I said darting from the bed and into the bathroom. I felt him running after me. I dropped to my knees in from of the toilet and wretched. Again, I felt his cool fingers collect my hair from my face and hold it back for me. His free hand rubbed my back. It was over in a matter of minutes but it left me sore. I brushed my teeth and splashed water on my face. "Thanks," I said gratefully. "I think I'm gonna take a bath. I'll be out in a few minutes, ok?"

"Alright. Yell if you need anything."

I took a hot soak and then tip toed into my room wrapped in a towel. I changed into fitted knee-length pants and pulled on a soft tunic with billowing sleeves and a snug body. I didn't pull my hair back in a bun today. The ends brushed my shoulders. I never really like it long, too much work and impractical at the least. Much to Sokka's protest, I helped make breakfast and we ate on the couch. "So, I was thinking maybe we should head to the South Pole and let Aang and Katara know," I said swallowing. "It's not just something I can send in a letter."

"I don't think that's a good idea. I mean what with your being in this condition and everything."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I just don't think you should be traveling so far, and then we'll be on a boat for weeks and you get sea sick really bad anyways, let alone morning sickness." I sighed. I knew he was right.

"I know, but how else am I supposed to tell them?"

"Make them come up here."

"What!? I just can't interrupt their lives! Especially now that Aang is officially courting Katara!" I gaped.

"Well they have to know and I'm sure Aang wouldn't mind getting into some warmer weather."

"No. Absolutely not."

"Come on, Toph, it's not like they're gonna get engaged tomorrow! Courting a woman in the tribe can take _months._"

"I don't know, Sokka..." I trailed.

"It'll be fine, I promise!"

"Well, I want to write them and see if they're ok with coming to visit first."

"Great! I'll write it for you!" He said leaping up and rummaging around my house for paper and ink.

In the letter I asked if they would like to come and visit for a few months. I had told them it was important, but not to let it interrupt anything. I wrung my hands as he rolled it up and sealed it with the Beifong flying-boar. "I-I think we should pay a visit to Zuko," I choked. I didn't want to tell him at all. He was my friend, sure, but he was a guy. Sokka was a guy too, of course, but he was also my best friend so it would be two totally different stories telling Sokka and telling Zuko. I was trusting Katara to break the news to Aang for me but I was going to have to flat out tell Zuko. I would have Mai do it for me, but I didn't know her as well and it might be worse to tell her than to tell the Fire Lord...actually, I didn't know about that.

"You want to go to the Palace?"

"Yes." I said resolutely.

"Well, then, to the Fire Palace we go." How could this man get any cooler?

Sokka scurried around packing all his things. "Do you want to stick aorund a few days or leave pronto?"

"I want to leave as soon as possible." And then I had to swat him aside to let me do my own packing. I felt his hand trying to creep in around me and hurry along the process. "Out, Sokka, you don't want to grab a handful of my underwear now do you?"

"Oh, no...thanks." I could tell his face had gotten red.

"Atta boy."

To say the least I was a terrible packer. Everything I grabbed was wadded into a ball and thrown into a bag.

"Well will you at least let me get everything into something we can actually carry."

"Fine." I plopped down on my bed arms crossed. He came and sat down next to me. All the years on the road had turned Sokka in a savvy, resourceful man and it showed in the way he packed. He had gotten everything into two bags from the four they had been in. I heard him get all quiet and move quicker for a moment while he was folding my things. I knew he had stumbled onto my delicates. Served him right.

I felt a cool breeze sift across my skin. It must be getting towards evening. And the time shift only made me shiver, remembering my nightmare from last night. I felt dirty suddenly. I fidgeted impatiently as he finished tying everything up and placing them in the corner of the room.

"Thanks, Sokka. I'm gonna go take a bath."

"Why? You just took one this morning."

"Will you read to me when I get out?" I said completely ignoring his question.

"Yeah sure." I bounded off with an armful of clean clothes and went about scrubbing down my skin. I hadn't washed so vigorously in a while and the sea sponge scratching back and forth on my skin made me sore and red. I dried off gingerly and changed into my night clothes. I hoped he wouldn't notice my newly raw skin and ask me about it. "Bout time," he said cheerily as I made my way into the living room and snuggled into my corner of the couch. The only disadvantage about a house made almost completely of stone was the cold air being trapped inside at night. Sure it was nice and cool on hot evenings but with fall approaching it was just plain out cold at night.

"I've got the blanket warm, get over here," he said. I crept closer to him and he tucked me under with arm and pulled the blanket up over my shoulders. He was right. He had made a toasty pocket of air under the blanket. He let his arm fall alongside mine and his hand reached my elbow. I actually felt...like I did before all this stuff happened. I wasn't quite sure of the feeling; what it was I felt under Sokka's arm. I pondered on it as he began to read. He got to a particularity dramatic chapter and his fingers closed over my elbow, the rough calluses of his fingers rubbed harshly against my fragile skin.

"Ow," I mumbled putting a hand between his fingers and my elbow.

"What did I do?" He asked starting to pull his arm away.

"Don't worry about it," I said.

"Why are you so red?" I hoped he didn't mean my face because it was flushed red.

"Um."

I heard the pages of the book pad together as he closed it. "Why are you always taking so many baths? Scrubbing so hard all the time? You're gonna peel your hide right off if you keep doing that, you know."

"I just feel-" I shrugged, "dirty all the time. I just can't seem to feel clean anymore." It was another thing Jai Ling had done to me. He made me feel disgusted at myself.

"Oh." So he understood. Good, now I wouldn't have to explain it to him. It was silent for a moment. "I'm so sorry, Toph, for all of it. I hate what he did to you," he said pulling me into his side in a tight embrace. And then I realized that feeling I felt earlier (or rather it had been the lack of it in the last two months)_ safe_. I felt _safe_ tucked under his arm. I felt like Jai Ling couldn't hurt me anymore. I had missed the secure feeling in last eight weeks. Ever since I had failed to protect myself, I always felt vulnerable and scared. If I had screwed up so badly one time, what would keep me from doing it again_? Wait, Sokka told me not to blame myself_. But it was so hard not to. His grip tightened around me and he opened the book again. I put my nose between two of his ribs and closed my eyes. _It was all just some horrible thing that happened right? A freak accident? Was it really my fault? Yes. _I let my guard down for some stupid guy.

_Agni! I was so ashamed of myself! I hated myself! I hated my body, I hated my skin, I hated the way my hair tickled my shoulders when it was down, I hated my face, I hated the hard calluses on my feet and hands. I hated my scarred legs and knees, I hated my fingernails, I hated my sightless eyes, I hated everything about myself!_ Silent tears fell and pooled in the corner of my eyes and slid down my straight nose and dripped off the end.

I felt so _used_. But wasn't he to blame? Wasn't Jai Ling the one that enticed me with his charm and drugged me? Wasn't he the one that did all this? _Maybe. Maybe Sokka was onto something. Had I really done anything wrong? Yes. I _let _myself become the victim didn't I? I trusted a total stranger and it was _my _body that had decided to get pregnant after all right?_ I hated that part of me too. I hated that I was a stupid girl. I hated that my body was some kind of baby making thing. Why couldn't I have been born a boy? Why!? I had to take a long, deep breath to keep myself from crying out. And then I hated something I never ever thought I would hate before; I hated that I was an Earthbender. The realization of my loathing for my bending hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt my throat collapse, cutting off any oxygen from entering my lungs. And that's where I drew the line. _No. _I didn't hate my Earthbending. I didn't hate it at all and I felt so horribly guilty for even thinking it.

I knew I didn't hate the dirt and rock beneath my feet. I wouldn't let him take _that _from me. That creep could have everything else, but he would _not _have my earthbending. I would _not _hate it and I would _not _let him have it. But, he did have my hate for being Earth Kingdom. And I hated that part of me without hesitation or second thought. A woman with true Earth Kingdom blood running through their veins was susceptible to it. With the onset of becoming a woman, my body had suddenly become very aware of the environment around it. During the fall women of the Earth Kingdom are suddenly very fertile. It's the change in the weather when it boils right down to it. Being from a people whose blood is heavy-laden with the earth bending gene our bodies are acutely tuned to the earth and the changes in it. An Earth Kingdom body senses the change for fall when the earth prepares to become dormant again, and in a last-ditch stand to begin new life before the dead season, a woman's body becomes twice as fertile as in the summer and winter months. This happens in spring too but even more so in the fall.

And it was becoming fall when I was assaulted. And I truly believe if I wasn't Earth Kingdom, I may not be pregnant right now. I really tried to do what Sokka said and not blame myself, but I just couldn't help it. It was so easy. But, somehow I felt a little braver, a little stronger when I resolved that Jai Ling would not be allowed to have my Earthbending.

"It's part of ranch life. The ostrich-horses, the dirt, the dust and I love ever bit of it. I just wish you could see it too, Lin." I was snapped out of my trance by the sorrowful tone in Sokka's voice as he read. I had kind of missed the last few pages but I could piece together what was happening. The lead man was named Hinto, a Water Tribesman who left his village and went to stomp out a place of his own in the Earth Kingdom. He was the gritty owner of a moose-cow ranch and the ostrich-horses that were so important to his livelihood held a special place in his heart, that is until the main woman came into the story. Her name was Lin, a privileged, upper-class beautiful woman who also loved ostrich-horses. She however, instead of using them to round up livestock, showed them in very high-class riding events.

Lin was a strong lead female, which I liked a lot about her character, and she was desperate to escape her stuffy life in the upper ring of Ba Sing Se, so she ran away. I had smiled when Lin had run away from home because she reminded me so much of myself. She stumbled upon Hinto's ranch after weeks of traveling on her favorite ostrich horse. He had taken her in and she refused to be given a free ride so she worked for her board. Just recently in the story, a love interest had sparked between the two of them and Hinto was trying to get her to see the wonderful side of moose-ranching and living a hard, but free life. She just didn't seem to understand the gnarly, rough and tumble way he lived. She was still reeling from her life in luxury and had yet to see the beauty in the life around her at Hinto's ranch.

And as much as I wouldn't admit to anyone, I had fallen in love with this book instantly. Right from the very first page. Maybe it had something to do with it being the first book I had ever heard. Given that I was blind, no one ever bothered to read to me before. And I loved it. I loved the way the words were put together and the way the story was forming itself right before my ears. And I loved the way Sokka read it. He read it like I imagine the author intended it to be read. He read it with conviction and made it seem as though the characters themselves were talking to me.

I was so perfectly content listening to him read and the rumble his chest made against my cheek. And it lulled me into sleep after I tried so desperately to stay awake and listen to more.

Two days and a tent-pitch later I found myself cooking over a campfire. It was a new skill I was working on, I would admit. I had never cooked when we were all traveling together because Katara usually did that...and that fact that I'm blind, no one was really willing to let me fumble around with live flame. But, over the last two dinners I had forced Sokka to let me have a shot at it. And I wasn't really bad at it either, even though I burnt the fish two nights in a row and singed a strand of my hair off, but hey! Who's to say it's not super intelligent to let a blind woman cook over fire? Certainly not the either of us that was for sure.

"I'll hand it to you Toph, despite the black underside of this trout, it's pretty good."

"Why thank you," I smiled cheesily as I sat down beside him as we ate. I found myself in an increasingly good mood now that we were traveling again. It just felt like old times, well minus the psychopathic Fire Nation trying to kill us at every turn. Luckily we had been traveling by foot along a river and Sokka was able to catch us out fresh fish every night. Even without my careful instructions telling him where I felt a fish along the riverbed, he seemed to catch them just as easily.

"So you said this town had ostrich-horse rentals right?" I asked referring to the town we had been aiming for. It was only another three days journey from here.

"You would be correct, except it's really more of a ranch with a couple stores on it."

"Maybe I'll find a strong and handsome man named Hinto to fall in love with," I teased making a ridiculous puckered-lip face and kissing the air with loud smacks.

"Well you _are _kind of a rich snob..." he teased back. I punched him the arm.

"You take that back," I laughed.

"Alright, alright, alright, sheesh!" He chuckled rubbing his sore bicep. I ate the last bit of fish left in the pan and tossed the iron skillet back close to the fire. "Well, I don't know about you, but I want to know what happens next in our book," he said giving a yawn. I wasn't sure when it had become _our _book but I liked the idea of the story kind of belonging to me too. We curled in close to the fire against the chilly air and he read two chapters before we were both falling asleep sitting up. "Come on, Toph, let's go to bed," he yawned. I answered with my own monstrous yawn and we went to our tent. I insisted that I could just earthbend us a tent every night but then he reminded me of how cold it would get in the evenings and even I wasn't going to be stubborn when it came to warmth.

So, we decided to share a tent and sleep on opposite sides. It was an unspoken rule that we were not to cross the invisible line that went down the middle of the tent but, contrarily, it was a spoken law that warranted a said violator of the unspoken rule to be promptly beat to death if he or she was to roll over that border.

I knew I tended to kick around a lot in my sleep so I made it a point to sleep with the canvas of my tent touching my cheek so I would have plenty of squirm room before I crossed into Sokka's territory. I woke up a few short hours later shivering against the tent wall. I had found myself in this predicament before but I had to tough it out lest I became a tent rule breaker. I couldn't help my thoughts wandering to that night Sokka cradled me in his lap. I had woken up in his arms but we were both in too much of a shocked stupor to really care about the close contact. But now, that I was shivering in my sleeping bag I wished my back was against his chest again, absorbing his naturally insulated body heat. Being from the snowy underbelly of the world made him impervious to cold and even though his limbs and fingers were chilly to the touch, his torso was like an oven.

I hoped sleep would befall me soon because my muscles were starting to ache from the shivering at the cramped position I had them in, curling in on myself trying to stay warm. After a while I began to almost ache from the cold. I was miserable in my little spot by the canvas. Maybe I could scoot closer to the middle of the tent and that would help. So I wiggled and squirmed like a bear-caterpillar until I was only two or three feet from that invisible boundary line. I felt a little better but then, of course, my luck just got worse. A sharp wind had kicked up and I could feel the cold slipping through my sleeping bag and onto my skin. "Oh," I moaned miserably.

I must have started to become desperate...(either that or crazy) when I peeked over my shoulder at Sokka's sleeping form, despite not being able to see him. _Maybe he won't mind If I just scoot over the line a little bit. If I kept one half of my body on my side maybe I wouldn't _totally _break the laws of the tent. _I considered it for a minute and rolled over to the red zone. I hoped he wouldn't beat the snot out of me for this. An hour had probably passed since I first woke up and I was still cold. "Oh for the love of Appa and Momo!" I grumbled under my breath as I shivered. I began to think I might freeze into a Toph-sicle before morning if I didn't get at least a little closer to his warmth.

Oh, I was going to have to do this wasn't I? I felt my cheeks burn hot and I growled incoherent things as I crawled out of my sleeping bag and shuffled over to Sokka.

**PS: Hinto actually means blue in whatever language I picked it from lol. I believe it was some kind of native american.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I wanted to let everyone know that i most definatley AM going to continue this story :) I wanted tot hank everyone who and read this and especially to those who reviewed it. Having 9 reviews had totally made me soooo happy! (lame i know lol) but seriously! SQUEE! Ignore that outburst lol. I am having computer problems currently so Im using library computers and my brothers right now so unfortunatley i cant really give any certain dates for updates. Anyhow, ENJOY! (sorry this is kind of a filler chapter, but next chapter we get to the Fire Palace) :)**

I bit my bottom lip and reached out a tentative hand and placed it on his shoulder. "Sokka?" He only snored louder. "Sokka? Hey, wake up." He groaned and mumbled nonsense before falling back asleep. "Snoozles, wake up, we're freezing here," I said a little louder, shaking him again.

"What? Yeah?" He said opening his eyes and looking over his shoulder at me. My face burned hotter. I felt like an idiot.

"Um, well we're kind of cold. Is it ok if I sleep over here?"

" We? Oh...right. Yeah, of course, you don't have to ask, Toph," he said gently."Thanks," I answered laying my sleeping bag next to his and peeling back the side to crawl in.

"Here, wait," he said. I heard him shuffling around. I sucked in a sharp breath when his arm laid across my back and coaxed me down beside him. I tucked my legs into his sleeping bag and settled down in front of him on my side. It was a tight fit but at least it was warm. My heart was beating like crazy for some reason and I hoped he couldn't hear it. His strong, muscled chest pressed against my back and the heat seeped through to my skin rather quickly, dispelling my goosebumps. I let out a contented sigh and closed my eyes. I could feel his heart beat thud against my shoulder blades. It was faster than it shoulder be.

"Is this weird?" I blurted. I bit my tongue, punishing it for being so stupid.

"What do you mean?" His voice rumbled through my spine.

"Are we crossing some kind of friend zone line or something?"

"I don't think so," he whispered as he fell asleep. I quickly followed after him being warm and happy now. His arm that had once been propped along the line of the side of my body slipped down across my arms and fell around the bottom of my ribs. When he tightened his grasp around me subconsciously in his sleep, I thought my heart might just explode out of my chest. _This just had to be weird right?_ I felt my face flush and I suddenly felt very shy and small. _Why was I acting like this? What was going on?_ I wasn't sure if it was one of those strange pregnant woman things but I blamed my racing heart on it anyways.

I awoke to something tickling annoyingly against my ear. It took me a second to get my bearings but I realized it was a little strand of my hair touching the bottom of my earlobe. I reached up to scratch it but yanked my hand back when my finger grazed against someone's skin. _What in the world?_ Then I remembered just exactly where I was and that someones skin was in fact Sokka's lip. His nose was tucked behind my ear and the steady puffs coming from his mouth was making my hair brush against my skin. I blushed and electric flooded my veins. _What in monkeyfeathers is going on!? _I growled internally at my stupid racing heart. But this felt...nice? I laid awake trying to figure out if I should squirm out from his deathhold on me or not.

I liked the feeling of being sheltered and safely tucked away under his arm. I liked the way my back seemed to fit perfectly along his chest. I felt him stir and his head turned a little, his nose burying itself deeper behind my ear. Goosebumps crawled over my skin where his nose touched. And then my entire body froze when I felt warm, soft lips press a feathery kiss below my ear. If I thought my heart had been beating fast a second ago...This time legit adrenaline flooded my blood. _What did he think he was doing!? Oh...wait...he was asleep. And that "kiss" was probably just a result of him shifting his head in his sleep._ That calmed me down and then I was kind of mad and totally embarrassed at myself that I had even thought up such a preposterous thing. I laid there peacefully for a few minutes, totally off guard and relaxed. I thought I might even go back to sleep...

"Toph?" I nearly jumped out of my skin when he voice ghosted across the side of my face.

"Yeah?"

"Oh you're awake."

"Yeah. How long have you been up?

"Not long." If I had been paying more attention to the earth under me and not to the way his breath was warm on my face I might have noticed he was lying a little bit. My stomach decided to interrupt my peaceful morning with a sickening roll, flip and all other kinds of acrobatic shenanigans.

"Oh. Sokka, I think I'm gonna-" He was already pushing me out of the sleeping bag. I scurried out of the tent and dropped to my hands and knees as I was sick behind a nearby bush. He wasn't long in getting to me. He gathered my hair and kept his free hand on my side to keep me from falling over. I felt especially sick this morning and I just couldn't stop heaving. I groaned and another heave wracked my body. It was just acid and lots of water now.

"Did you drink a whole lake, Toph? Geez." I barely heard him over the pressure in my ears when my body lurched forward again. It seemed like it would never stop. I found tears slipping down my cheeks from the aching in my abs. And now, nothing was coming up just these violent, horrible, painful heaves.

"Sokka," I pleaded. I wanted it to stop, I _needed _it to stop. I tought I might rip in half if I didn't stop lurching.

"I know Toph, I know," he said rubbing a hand on my back.

I shook with exertion and it still wouldn't stop. My arms shook violently and my legs felt like noodles. Sokka left my side and I went into a panic. "Sokka," I croaked through a burned throat. He was back in just a matter of seconds with a damp piece of fabric wiping my mouth with it. I wretched fruitlessly again. Then his arm wrapped across my hips and the other one went under my right arm and crossed over towards my left shoulder in the front but his hand settled across the hollow of my collarbone and his finger lay gently against my throat. He pulled me in his back and cradled me there. I tensed, supporting my own weight on my knees.

"Sokka, what're you doing?"

"Just relax," he said as though he didn't even hear me. I did as I was told and he held my weight partly suspended in the air with ease. "Relax ok," he said pressing his hand a little more firmly on my neck. And after a few pathetic little half-heaves, I leaned back against him shaking and not puking. I dragged in breath after breath, each painfully expanding my sore muscles.

"How did you do that?"

"It's something Katara showed me once when I was really sick."

He held me tightly against his chest and I felt my muscles unclench even further and I felt my eyelids grow heavy. I was so tired. "Thankyou," I breathed. I forced my eyes open and pulled from Sokka's grasp. There were a few moments of silence as I collected myself. "That was the worst bout of morning sickness I've had yet," I commented.

"Do you think somethings wrong?"

"I don't think we should worry about it unless it happens again," I shrugged. After I had regained a little bit of strength we were off again. And despite my aching abs, we covered a lot of ground. We settled into a comfortable routine. Eat dinner, read our book, sleep in the tent that was now void of boundary lines, wake up, puke, and eat breakfast as we walked. I thought I would jump for joy when I felt the first vibrations of ranch life not too far off.

I felt heads turn in our direction as we walked down the center of the main part of the ranch. Barns and little stores lined the dusty street. We walked into what felt like the most popular building. I could tell simply by the scuffling and dragging feet that alcohol must be sold in here. I side-stepped a little and let Sokka's wide shoulders his me a little more. Usually I would have barged in a place like this and picked a fight just for fun but I couldn't, not with a baby on board. I soon found that only a corner of the building was a bar and the rest was lined with counters selling various trinkets and what not. The middle of the large space was mostly filled with people playing various card games or Pai Sho.

We approached a counter and I slung my arms up on it lazily. I heard a cheerful woman with some kind of drawl that sounded a little like she was from the Foggy Swamp. She sounded nice. "How can I help you?"

"Hi there," Sokka greeted kindly, "can you tell us where the ostrich horse rentals are?"

"Sure! They're right dow the end of the road here, and you'll find the livery and a man named Slim, just tell him Ming sent you, it'll make him treat you a little nicer." I heard something a little too-sweet creep into her voice. I picked my foot off the ground and let it fall again softly to get a better look at her. Hmm. She was really pretty just from what I could tell of her facial structure and her body shape.

"And do you have a hotel here?"

"Yeah, it's right above you," she giggled good naturedly. "It's hard to get a room, but for a handsome stranger like you, I bet I could get something together," she flirted. It made me a little sick to my stomach, but I really couldn't blame her; Sokka was a good looking guy. Not to mention he was friendly, generally good-natured and _built_.

"It would be much appreciated," he flirted back. I rolled my eyes and took a step towards the door. He steered me out by the elbow and we found the livery stable right where Ming had said. I went in to the stable and Sokka went to go check out the stock.

"Hello?" I called out, even though I could feel a hunched over old man over in a far corner. I had found that alerting someone to your presence usually went over better than just appearing behind them.

"Whaddya want?" He growled.

"Two ostrich-horses," I snapped back in the same tone.

"Hang on a minute," he grumbled. I heard some things clang around and tip over. He came and sat down at the small table I was standing in front of. "What's a girl like you need with an ostrich horse? Oh wait, dumb question, too prissy to walk."

I narrowed my eyes in the direction of where I thought his were. "Watch it pal," I warned corssing my arms. He let out a short cackling laugh. "Or what?"

I let out an annoyed sigh and kneaded my forhead with my fingers. "Look, a lady name Ming told us to tell you she sent us."

"That blamed woman! Thinks she can sweet talk her way into gettin' on my good side! Puh!" He spat. "Who else is with you?"

"A friend."

"What's your name?"

"Toph BeiFong."

I felt him freeze for a second recognizing my name, but then, he did something I appreciated. He didnt do _anything_. He was still the rude, snippy old man and sent me off with two bridles and a receipt. I found Sokka already starting to open the gate to the corral. "I can get them," I said already knowing where this was headed.

"No, no. I'm perfectly capable, don't you know I have a way with animals?" I smacked my forehead and sighed. He was going to get kicked to death. Well while he was busy trying to kill himself, I went and gathered two saddles from a little shed right next to the corral. I heard a yelp and felt the feet of the ostrich horses stampeding around the corral. I dumped the saddles on the ground and earthbent Sokka out of the corral. I felt out for the two calmest heartbeats.

I kicked my heel into the dirt and made two squares of earth spring up under the two ostrich horses I was thinking about picking. The first one flinched and balked. Sokka could have that one. And the second didn't even flick an ear. That one was mine.

I approached the closest one and wound my fingers in the fuzzy feathers of its neck and led it towards the second one where I did the same. I led them to the gate and Sokka handed me the bridles mumbling that he could have done that. We saddled them up and led them down to the hitching post in front of the building where we would be staying for the evening. I wiggled my toes in the dirt as Sokka went inside to get us checked in. I scuffed my heels in the dirt as I played with the meteor bracelet in my hands.

"Hey, girl," a voice came from my left. I tilted my head to cup the sound of his voice better in my ear.

"What's a nice lady like you doing way out here?" Another voice said. I turned to face the two young men walking my way.

"I'm trying not to die of boredom," I snapped. I didn't like them, something about them just didn't sit right with me. I crossed my arms and settled my feet evenly over my feet in case I needed to earthbend their butts.

"Oh, I see, I see," the first one answered. "What's that you got there?"

"None of your business." I put the bracelet back on my arm, under my sleeve.

"Feisty," the second one remarked.

"I'm willing to bet you've got pretty eyes under all that hair." I saw him reach out to push my bangs out of my face. I slammed my wrist down on his hand.

"Step off," I warned, shooting him an icy glare.

"Is she blind?" The second one asked.

"Looks like it," the first one purred. I twisted my feet a little farther in the ground. It wasn't until then that I noticed I was quivering a little. _No wonder really. What good had come out of the last guy that made a move on me?_ I felt them move in a little closer. "Well, I have to ask what a...beautiful...blind woman is doing out on the streets all by her lonesome. I heard the low, tone in his voice, trying to lure me in.

"Do you know who you're talking to?" I scoffed. _How ignorant of these men to think just because I was blind I was helpless._

"No, actually, how rude of us not ask her name, don't you think Ling?" The second one asked.

"I do Lee," the first one, Ling, said. "What _is_ your name, Darling?" He paused and let out a whistle as he got within a few feet of me. "What a fine creature," he growled shaking his head. I pushed my sleeves up onto my shoulders to show off the lines and curves of my toned arms, just daring them to push it."I bet that bracelet of yours is worth a lot of money," Ling said. He inched forward. I let my arms raised a little from my sides.

"Come a step closer and you'll regret you ever laid eyes on me," I warned.

"I don't think I'll ever regret laying eyes on you, Darling."

"Still didn't catch her name Ling," Lee piped in. I felt Ling take that step closer to me that was going to land him in a whole bunch of hurt. A smirk graced my face.

"All you need to know is that I'm the world's Greatest Earth Bender." Before a laugh could finish leaving their mouths both of them got an earthen pillar in between the shoulder blades, sending them sprawling on their faces. I took a step back to keep Ling's head from landing on my feet.

"You little rat-snake," Ling hissed picking scrambling to get back up. I side-stepped a swing he threw at me and lifted my hands in front of me, palms facing me, fingers pressed together. I felt Lee start to get up and I kicked up a flat of rock under him and sent him flying. Ling made another charge at me and I stomped up a little rock to trip him. And before he fell I lifted another piece of earth that knocked him under the jaw. He laid groaning in the dust. I bent down next to his face and grabbed his limp hand and shook it.

"Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Toph BeiFong! Now you can always remember this as the the day you fought the Greatest Earthbender in the world and lost. Don't forget to tell all your friends," I said cheekily, dropping his hand in the dirt.. I waltzed into the building, pushing Sokka aside, dusting my hands as I went.

"What did you do?" He asked, moaning when he spotted my satisfied smirk.

"Oh you know, just messing with the wildlife."

We walked up the stairs to our room and found there to only be one bed. Sokka insisted I take it and there was no arguing with the man once he had his mind made up. I was so grateful for a shower and I washed away the grime from traveling. I washed three times before I felt that particular security blanket warp over my shoulders. I sat on the bed as Sokka took his bath. I played with my meteor bracelet, bending it into different shapes.

Later, Sokka went to get us a hot meal from downstairs. I waited impatiently. The sooner we ate, the sooner he could read to me. We had been left with a cliffhanger the last time he read and now that we were in a ranch setting, I couldn't imagine how awesome the next few chapters would seem.

He seemed to be thinking the same thing as we wolfed down our food and scrambled up onto the bed to read. I sat next to him, our hips touching and leaned against him. We found ourselves holding our breath as the story suddenly took a turn that was totally unexpected. He read for an hour and a half before we found a place we thought suitable to stop for the night.

He crawled down to the floor onto his makeshift bed and we both quickly fell asleep. I woke up to my stomach turning. I hopped over Sokka's sleeping form and made a beeline for the bathroom. I thanked the badger moles I wasn't as sick as the last few days. I took a shower afterwards and tiptoed downstairs to get us something to eat. Sokka had done so much for me recently and I felt breakfast in bed was the very least I could for him. Apparently the kitchen wasn't open yet. I felt activity at what felt like a diner across the road so I headed over there. I was about halfway across the dusty road when I heard it.

"There's that little rat-snake from yesterday!" Ling shouted. I rolled my eyes and turned around with a smirk.

"What? Come back for more?" I taunted making 'come at me' motions with my fingers.

"Yeah, and we brought back up too!" Lee shouted trying (and failing pathetically) to sound intimidating. I brought my right knee up to my chest and stomped down hard on the ground and pushed my palms out sending two walls of earth towards them. But I felt two more pairs of feet shift my attack away. _Earthbenders_. I sidestepped a pillar that shot up at my feet and kicked through another one the popped up on my other side. I had to laugh at their attempt to sneak attack me.

The two earthbending friends of Ling and Lee came racing towards me bringing up small boulders and hurling them towards me. I ducked under one, punched another one out of my face, leapt out of the way of another one and deflected one with my own chunk of rock. I could feel the earth cracking and rumbling exactly where the rocks were coming from before they even broke the surface. I was actually impressed with the amount of stone they were throwing at me but I couldn't risk having a bumpy earthbending battle with these two chumps. I had to be thinking of the baby on board.

I curled my index finger on my thumb and sent a slanted slab of rock into one of them sending him skidding across the dirt. I flung a wall up in front of the other one knocking him out cold as he slammed into it at a full run. I felt the other one had recovered and I waited until just the right second, listening. I kicked my right leg up in an arc, guiding a rock right into the side of his face. I threw my hands up in the air. "When will you people ever learn!" I yelled in exasperation. I growled loudly and then continued towards the diner. The man I had rock-kicked was writhing around, groaning. I patted his head as I went by. "Nice try though," I teased.

I got two breakfasts to go and walked back to our room. "Sokka, hey Sokka wake up," I said nudging him in the ribs with my toes.

"Huh? What?"

"I got us breakfast," I said sitting down across from him on the floor. Once we finished eating we packed up and left on our new rides. It took a while to get used to the new, faster footsteps of the animals but I eventually found a comfortable seat in the hard saddle and we covered probably two or three times the ground.

It took us the alotted weeks-during which I lost some weight, but really that was to be expected- to reach the fire nation capital. After we had the Royal stablehands to take the horses, we headed towards the palace.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Sorry if this seems rushed :/**

I never thought I'd be so happy to show up on Zuko's doorstep. The guards on the long stone path up to the palace let us by, of course, knowing who we were, not thinking anything of it if we had an appointment or not.

Sokka's arm suddenly collided with my shoulders. I felt a flash of heat sweep in front of us, the sheer energy of it blew my bangs back. Only a split second later did I feel a pair of feet hit the ground with a throaty battle cry that could only be-

"Zuko!" I called, a big grin plastering itself on my face.

"Toph? Sokka? W-what are you guys doing here?" He asked.

"I guess we really could have sent him a letter," I mumbled, abashing both myself and Sokka.

"It's great to see you!" He said walking towards us and engulfing me in a hug.

"So what is this, your new thing now? Jumping off balconies?" I heard Sokka joke as he and Zuko hugged in that weird, complicated guy hug thing they did. It made sense that I couldn't see him when we first approached the palace if he was on a balcony and not on the ground.

"Just practicing," Zuko answered. "So what brings you all the way here, Toph?" He asked. I nearly choked on my own spit.

"Oh, you know...a visit?"

"Oh come on, Toph, _you_ don't just visit just for the fun of it. What's the real reason you're here?" He asked leading us into the cool halls of the Fire Palace.

"No really, just a visit," I coughed.

"Well, whatever the reason I'm glad you're here. I haven't seen you in almost a year. Mai will be glad to see you." He led us into a living area that was exclusively his and Mai's. The Fire Lady was sitting comfortably on a red, plush cushion. In the middle of Sokka and I saying hello to her, General Iroh walked in.

"Iroh!" I exclaimed happily giving him a hug. I had missed my old friend dearly.

"Toph, it is wonderful to see you again! How are you?"

"I'm doing just fine, and you?"

"Just as well," he smiled. He greeted Sokka briefly and then he swept off to get us all tea.

"So how have things been shaping up around here?" I asked sitting down next to Sokka on a cushion.

"We've established some more multi-nation colonies, even some earthbenders have moved into the city."

We talked over tea for a long time. Zuko was in the middle of something about trade routes and I felt it. A little, steady flutter in my core. I gasped and almost dropped my tea. Sokka's head whipped around. "Are you ok?"

"Uh, yeah. Hey, I think I'm gonna take a potty break," I said awkwardly standing up. Mai gave me directions to the closest bathroom. I hurried down the hall and entered the huge bathroom, locking the door behind me. I just stood there, totally floored. I spread my toes on the stone and waited. It was faint and quiet, but so definitely there; a little heartbeat.

A smile crept across my face. _How amazing was that?_ I put my hand on my abdomen and just reveled in what nature was capable of doing. A whole person was growing, unbeknownst to the world, in my womb. I lifted my tunic and felt at the little swell between my hips. I felt a niggling at the front of my mind. It was...attachment...love. I knew I loved this child from just a few days after I found out, but this was so much stronger. _How was I going to let her be adopted?_ It had stayed my plan this entire time, and I kept it securely hidden from Sokka because he's probably have a fit about it. But now? _No, no, letting him or her be adopted was the best thing I could do for it_. I would mess up so bad at being a parent. I couldn't let this baby suffer for my own stupid actions.

_No._ Sokka told me not to blame myself for what happened to me, for the things Jai Ling had done. It had gotten a little easier over the weeks but I still couldn't help that black shadow that was always looming over me and tangling itself in my ribs and heart. The knock of the door nearly made me jump out of my skin. "Hey are you ok?" I flung the door open and jerked Sokka inside my the collar. I kicked the door shut and turned to face him.

"I felt the heartbeat!" I exclaimed in a whisper. I didn't sense him move at all and then his wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed me into him.

"That's awesome!" He whispered back. I could feel his lips curled into a grin against my neck. A smile to match was on my face. He pulled back and we snuck out of the bathroom and back to finish our tea. Zuko was called into a meeting and Mai went with him. Iroh opted to stay with us and show us our rooms, right across the hall from eachother. He showed Sokka to his room first and we left him to get settled and he showed me to my quarters. I got a good a look at it after padding around on the stone part of the floor. unfortunately most of it was carpeted but not thickly so I could still see pretty well.

"This is great, Iroh thankyou." He didn't answer and if I didn't know any better I would have thought he had left the room, but his heartbeat was still right where it had been. "In my years I have gained a fair amount of knowledge. And I can tell when one of my closest companions is not quite herself."

"Oh? Well, I hope she feels better," I quipped.

"You seemed flustered at tea today, is there anything you might want to share with me?"

"No."

It was quiet for a moment as I started to unpack my things. "If you sensed something concerning the safety of the Palace I should wish to be informed," he said, clearly only making up that excuse to get me to talk.

I sighed. "No it's nothing like that Iroh. But I'm sure you'll know soon enough." I mumbled the last part.

"What was that, dear?"

"Oh nothing," I smiled. "Thanks again, this room is really beautiful." And it was the truth it really was, at least from what I could tell.

"I look forward to seeing you at dinner," he said kindly before he left.

As evening fell Sokka and I headed down to dinner. It was surprisingly informal and comfortable. Later, Sokka and I headed to our respective rooms and went to bed. I laid there wondering just how I was going to tell Zuko about my predicament. I decided I wouldn't bring Sokka along with me. I didn't want to have to relive the whole thing in front of two people, even if Sokka was my anchor.

I just wanted to get it over with. I threw the blankets aside and crept out in the hallway. I managed to find Zuko's heartbeat...alone. That meant he wasnt asleep yet. I eventually found him in his study. I felt him jump a little when I opened the door. "Hey, what brings you here, Toph?" He greeted.

I didn't say anything and just started pacing back and forth in front of his big desk. I just needed to tell him, just get it over with and be the old Toph about it. Straightforward, no himhawing around, no beating around the bush. I paced for another few seconds. _Oh just out with it Toph!_

I stopped and stood in front of him. "Zuko," I breathed in. "I'm pregnant," I sighed. He didn't say anything for a second and then...he laughed?

"Ok, Toph, what's the real reason you're here?" He chuckled. I didn't say anything. "O-oh, Agni, you're serious aren't you?" I nodded. I felt the heat from the fireplace get a little hotter. "Well w-who's the father?" He blurted getting up and starting to pace himself. I collapsed down into a chair and put my forehead in my hand. "It's- oh my- it's Sokka isnt it?" He panted.

"What!? No!" I yelped, completely and totally flabbergasted. "What would even make you think- you know what, I don't even want to know."

"Than whose it!?" He yelped. I hung my head. "Toph?" He asked gently. I didn't want to cry in front of him but this was going to be the worst part.

"I- I was, um, raped." I wasnt exactly expecting a rush of heat and hearing a stack of papers catch on fire. I flinched and covered my face.

"How did this happen!?"

_Oh, he hated me! I knew it, I knew it! Maybe I couldn't shake Sokka but this just proved everyone else was going to despise me_! I wiped away a tear and sniffed. I felt him stop pacing and flop into a chair. " I'm the _Fire Lord_ and I can't even protect my own friends," He sighed dejectadley. _ "_I know people, I can get this taken care of, we can get him, just please tell me what happened, Toph. Let me help you."

"He put something in my tea and I guess I kind of passed out or something and then after that I woke up in his house or something and I finally realized what happened to me. I denied I was pregnant but when two months passed... I knew."

The less he knew the better.

"Where's Sokka?"

"Asleep."

"Alright. Just go back to bed and get some sleep ok," he said standing up to walk me to the door.

I nodded weakly and got up. But he stopped me and pressed me into a bone-crushing hug. I felt like his heavy robes might swallow me but I felt safe. _Maybe he doesn't hate me._ His hand held against the back of my head like I was a small child and in reality, I kind of felt like one. I hugged him back and then he gently pushed me out of his study. "Wait." I turned to face him. "What was his name? I mean..if you um, know," he said rubbing the back of his neck.

"Jai Ling." I headed back to my room, following Sokka's heartbeat because otherwise I would have been doomed. I crawled into bed and felt...better? I felt like a big weight had been lifted off my chest. I turned onto my side and closed my eyes.

"Good morning, Toph!" A cheery voice said yanking open the curtains. I gave Iroh a glare in the direction I thought he was in. "I'm over here, dear." I whipped my head around from where his voice came from. I heard him messing around with a teapot at a low table outside of my bedroom doorway. I groaned and kicked my feet over the edge of the bed.

_Why now? _I darted into the bathroom and yanked tub water on and commenced to barfing my guts up. I was really hoping Iroh couldn't hear over the running water. And then it occurred to me that he might think I was taking a bath and I couldn't just come right back out in five minutes like I had taken the worlds fastest bath. Oh well. He was just going to have to be left in the dark because I didn't feel like doing anything but going back to sleep after the cup of tea he was sure to force down my throat. I leaned over and wretched.

I sat down across from him at the low table and he poured me tea. I could literally feel the happy coming off him. _Stupid Firebenders, always waking up at the buttcrack of dawn._ And just how could he be so blamed happy this early? I mean COME ON! What could have POSSIBLY happened already to put him in such a good mood? I was actually pretty startled at my condescending thoughts. I hadn't really had much of a snarky pep in a while. It felt good.

Iroh took a sip of his tea. "So my nephew tells me you are expecting," he grinned.

"Expecting what?"

"A baby of course!," he chuckled. I choked on my tea, nearly spitting all over him. _So much for secrets. _As if reading my thoughts he assured me Zuko had told no one else. "I'm so happy for you, Toph! A child is the most precious thing that can happen to a person, I would know," he chuckled, totally and miserably _jolly._ How could he be so positive?

"Well, ya know," I shrugged. "It wasnt exactly like I planned this."

"Yes," he said sadly, sighing. "I am not glad that happened to you. But the child must not bear the brunt of the shameful thing that man did."

"Of course, I don't blame the kid at all," I said taking a long drink.

"That is good. This baby will be just as special as any other child, and then some, simply because of his mother." I blushed, feeling my old friend smiling warmly at me. He always knew just what to say.

"Thankyou."

"I am simply stating the truth. Have you thought of any names?"

I shifted uncomfortably on the pillow I was sitting on. "Actually, no I havent." I let out a big sigh. "Don't tell anyone, but I was planning on finding the baby a better family than me, you know, adoption."

"What?" I heard Sokka's voice behind me. I spun around and put my palm on the floor.

"Sokka- I- you weren't supposed to find out this way!" I stuttered. He sliced his arm through the air in front of him.

"Yeah, I'm sure I wasnt," He spat turning around and leaving.

"Sokka, wait!" I called after him.

"Go after him," Iroh said. I got up and ran after my best friend. I could feel his angry foot steps as he walked down the hall.

"Wait a minute," I yelled. He ignored me. "Just stop." He kept walking. "Just listen to me, Sokka!" I demanded loudly. I felt him stop and turn around. I walked towards him and stood a few feet away. "I was going to tell you ok? I just wasn't ready yet." Before he could even open his mouth to say anything I cut him off. "We both know I'll make a horrible mother, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I don't even know how to hold a baby let alone feed one and put one to sleep, change one, I know nothing Sokka! I can't raise a kid! Let alone all by myself!"

"I'm sorry, Toph but back home when someone has a baby they don't want, we can't just give them away. This goes against everything I've known. I can't-" I cut him off, fuming.

"This is my baby and letting a great family adopt it is the best thing I can do for my child right now. If I can't do anything else but insure my kid will have a good stable life then by Tui and La, you will NOT stand in my way." He let out a long breath.

"I'm sorry. I just- I don't think it's a great idea," he said, his voice softening.

"But I feel this is the best thing I can do for this baby, Sokka. I have to make sure this new life won't get all screwed up by me. I'm gonna find some really great people and everything will be ok." I let my head hang and I sighed. "I don't know what else to do." He came and gave me a tight hug.

"I can't say I agree with you, Toph, but I'll be there for you whatever you decide to do."

"Thankyou," I said fisting my hands in the front of his tunic. "You've been so good to me, I don't deserve it, but you've stuck around anyways and I'm really grateful for that."

"It's what friends are for."

Sokka disappeared after that and I didn't see him for the rest of the day. I took that time to catch up on sleep and finish tea with Iroh later in the afternoon. We talked for a long time about everything from tea plants to platypus bears. I missed my best friend but I figured he might still be a little miffed at me I just didn't feel like fighting with him.

Night came and I fell asleep easily enough but I woke up some hours later feeling stuffy. I threw the blankets aside and moved to another spot on the massive bed. My lack of presence on the sheets made for a cool spot on the blankets. I groaned when I felt my fingers swelling from the heat. I needed to find Sokka. I picked out his heartbeat and followed it to Zuko's study. Why he would be in there, I had no idea but hen I walked in they rolled up a scroll they were looking at and shoved a few other various things into draws. "Oh hey, Toph," Sokka said innocently and slung his arm around my shoulders, steering me out of the room.

"What were you guys doing?"

"Oh you know just looking over trade routes and stuff." _Well that was a lie. Oh well I guess._

"I couldn't sleep."

"I'll talk to you in the morning, Zuko, night," Sokka said over his shoulder.

"Good night guys," Zuko answered as Sokka led me out of the room. A thin layer of sweat coated my entire body now and I was sick and tired of being inside. I pushed his arm off of me and instantly felt a bit cooler. Sokka followed my lead as I made my way towards a small courtyard not too far away from our rooms. We sat side by side, or rather I laid there and he sat at my hip.

"You know if you're tired you can go back to bed," I offered, feeling guilty for depriving him of the sleep he so loved.

"No it's alright, I'm too wound up anyway."

I heard a little blub from the koi fish pond. They must be eating little bugs off the surface or something. I put my hands behind my head and sighed. I was reveling in the cool air and brisk breeze, it made me feel so much for comfortable and my fingers had deflated. "It feel so good out here," I sighed in total contentment.

In all the silence and with the earth so close to my body, I could so easily pick out the little heartbeat in my womb. It was easy to tell apart from Sokka's and the turtle-ducks that were nesting on the other side of the courtyard. It was so simply because it's rhythm was so...different. It was faster than mine and Sokka's but it wasn't steady. It sped up and slowed down at different intervals. I was worried about it but chalked the irregularity of it up as the baby being awake and not snoozing. _Could they even do that? Sleep in the womb?_ I twitched my nose and brushed it off. There was so much I didn't know already.

_How much was it going to hurt?_ Oh geez, I hadn't really put much thought into it considering everything that had been going on in the last few weeks but now... I almost groaned but shut my throat up stubbornly. _I could handle anything, it couldn't be that bad right? Well, there was that one time when Katara had to help deliver that baby on our way to Omashu. That poor woman sounded like a badgermole had bit her...and then gotten trampled by a moose lion. Well that certainly had to be because she wasn't an earthbender right? I was the worlds greatest wasn't I? By Appa and Momo I was! I could certainly handle a few muscle cramps, it would be nothing compared to being slammed around and beaten senseless in all our travels. Right? Right._

I heard a little snore from Sokka, I hadn't even realized he'd laid down. Liar. He _was_ tired. I then began to ponder about where I would be giving birth. I would like it to be at my house with Katara and Katara only. Aang and Sokka could just wait outside for all I cared. I trusted my waterbending friend to take good care of me, that is if she didn't totally hate me after I told her.

Well, Zuko, of all people, had hugged me. Wasn't that a good sign? I mean Mr. Doom and Gloom wasnt exactly a touch-feely kind of guy (at least that I knew of) and we had known each other for the shortest amount of time so did that mean Katara and Aang would be ok with it too? It must. I felt a warm cozy feeling settle in my chest. Maybe things wouldn't turn out so awful after all. I smiled a little at that. I felt my mind beginning to drift off and reality and the things of the dream world began to converge.

_"You feeling ok?" Jai Ling asked. I could hear myself answering but it only really sounded like mumbled. I heard my teacup fall from my hands and clatter onto the ground with a glassy ping. My head slumped forward. I was so tired. I tried to fight it to continue talking with Jai Ling but I had never felt so _exhausted_ in my entire life. My lids were falling shut and I couldn't hardly make a coherent sentence. He scooped me up under my shoulders and knees. My head fell back involuntarily. "Perfect," he muttered. Somehow I hadn't heard him, but I had known what he said. I couldn't feel my legs through my dazed state and they hung limply over his arm. He was carrying me somewhere, but where were we going? Maybe he was taking me home, but...he didn't know where I lived so that wasn't it._

_"What?" I rasped trying to make sense of anything and everything that was going on._

_"Shh. Don't worry, just go to sleep." I forced my eyes to stay open as best I could. I may not have been totally blind in his arms under normal circumstances, but I couldn't make any clear sense of the subtle vibrations coming through his chest from his foot falls. I was laid down on something hard...I heard an animal snort...ah it must be a wagon of some sort. I felt something warm and soft touch my lips. I was nearly gone now I couldn't tell up from down anymore. In fact, everything was spinning. Was he kissing me? He was! What!? I hadn't agreed to this! I felt like something was very wrong here, but I couldn't even force my body to react, to push him away. I couldn't do anything, I was helpless._

I woke up screaming and sweating and panting like I had just run to Ba Sing Se and back. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to still my quaking body. I felt so horrible, so _blind_. "It's ok, just a dream ok?" Sokka's gentle coos reached my reeling brain and I was able to grasp onto reality. I was cold now, and whether or not the goosebumps were from the chilly air, I couldn't tell. I drew in a sharp, ragged breath and launched myself into Sokka's arms. He cradled me against his chest as I locked my fists in his tunic front. "I remember, Sokka! It was so awful, I remember!" I cried. "It wasnt a dream this time," I sobbed. I felt like my bones were going to shatter if I didn't stop shaking, but I was just so scared. And I hated it. I hated myself for being such a coward. _No stop it. Sokka told you not to. _I tried to grasp onto my dream, but at the same time I was trying to banish it from my memory. I didn't want to remember, even just that small token of what happened that night. I didn't want it. "I felt so helpless, so alone. He kissed me and I was scared, something was so wrong!"

"Relax, it's going to be alright. I'm right here, you're not alone, you're totally safe now ok? I wont let anything get you."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND KILL ME! ok so senior year is upon me and my computer is still crashed but I will try to keep this updated once a week. As for this chapter its short but I will put another one up today I hope! Enjoy!**

"He stole it from me, Sokka!" I cried in horror.

"Stole what?"

"My first kiss, he stole it! He stole _everything!_ I was so useless, Sokka! It's so unfair, I'm supposed to be able to take care of myself, my parents were right, I really am helpless!" I sobbed. "It's so unfair, why did it have to happen to me? Why, why why!?" I half cried half yelled. I jerked away from him and pressed my fists into my eyes. "What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this? I just don't understand. I can't get away from him, no matter what I do! I wash and I still smell him, I can still hear him, feel him!" I cruled in on myself and bawled. Somehow, despite all the turmoil swirling in my head, I felt like this was a breaking point. Depending on what happened in the next few minutes, I would either break and spiral into insanity, or I would begin to heal. "None of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to be married and in love, Sokka! I was saving myself for my husband, not some random man! Who's going to want me now? I'm worthless, dirty, poisoned! No one will want me, I-I'm not pure anymore." I buried my faces in my arms and let the sobs tear through me. I felt him gather me into his arms and pull me into his lap. "It's not fair."

"No, it's not fair. It's _so _unfair, Toph," he whispered. He held me tight, managing to still my shaking body until I was only quivering. "This isnt your fault, you did nothing wrong. There was nothing you _could _do. And someday you'll find a man that understands and loves you and wont care what that coward did to you, because he'll love you for who you are."

_Maybe Sokka was right...maybe there was someone out there who wouldn't mind being with someone who was assaulted so brutally. Maybe it really wasn't my fault and maybe there was nothing I could do. _"Do you really think so?" I sniffled.

"Of course I do. I wouldn't lie to you. And as far as I'm concerned, that wasn't your first kiss, it doesn't count. At all. And you're not helpless. I've seen you handle whole platoons of men three times as big as you, and you were only twelve! Heck, I saw you cream a whole group of the best Earth Rumble fighters single-handedly. If that's helpless, I don't even want to know what I am." It was quiet except for my sniffles and hiccups. "You'll heal from this, it'll get easier with time and it won't hurt so bad. I'm going to be right here beside you the whole time. And so will Katara, Aang and Zuko. We all support you and love you. You're my best friend, Toph, and by Oma and Shu, I'm not going to abandon you."

I sniffled and rubbed my nose. "Thankyou, Sokka. You don't know how much that means to me."

"Come on, let's get you inside, you're freezing." He stood up and held a hand out to me. His rough, calloused hand wrapped around mine and he took me inside. "You, know," I said sniffing "there's a family over turtle-ducks over there," I said pointing to a far corner. "I think we should come out and feed them tomorrow."

"I think that's a fine idea," he smiled. Sokka and I crept through the huge halls and he made sure I was inside my room before he left to bed.

I slept well that night and awoke feeling refreshed despite being jerked awake by Iroh walking noisily into my room. At least I wasnt awoken by the hot sun on my face like I was the last time he decided to take care of my wake up call. "It is a beautiful morning, Toph! I brought us ginseng tea this morning, I thought you might like to try it," he said happily.

"Why not?" I mumbled as I sat up. I was immediately nauseated and I ran into the bathroom spouting apologies as I went.

"Don't worry, Toph. I went through the same thing with my wife when she was pregnant with Lu Ten. Ah, the beauty of pregnancy," I heard him sigh happily. I rolled my eyes.

After our tea Sokka came barging in and swept me off to the courtyard. We sat down at the edge of the pond and Sokka shoved a piece of bread in my hands. I picked off some little bits and tossed them in the water. I heard the little ducklings beaks splash in the water as they plucked up the soggy bread. After a while they all came ashore and I could feel their little webbed feet slapping against the ground.

A faraway screech reached my ears and I tilted my head to cup the sound. "Hey, it's a messenger hawk," Sokka said. I heard the wind rustling through the wings of the bird as he slowed to land on Sokka's arm. He took the letter from its back and sent the hawk back into the skies.

"Who's it from?" I asked.

"Katara and Aang," he said. "I don't know how those hawks do it."

"They probably followed your stench," I joked punching him in the arm. "What's it say?" I asked.

"Katara said they'd love to come and visit. She said she and Aang are bored out of their minds and that she misses the warm weather."

"Well, we should write back and tell them to head on up."

"Alright, let's do that tonight. I was kind of in the shopping mood, do you want to come?" He asked.

"Sure.

"Let's go!" He said happily practically yanking me up from the ground. I sent a pebble careening into the back of his head for being so rough and he apologized. We headed outside of the palace grounds and headed straight for the busy market. It was milling with people from all over, mostly from the Fire Nation, mind you, but I could also hear the accents of people from the Earth Kingdom too. I waited patiently as Sokka scanned over some items at a few stalls. I heard him gasp and his heart beat quicken before he let out a girly scream and grabbed my wrist. He dragged me along behind him, causing me to bump and bounce back and forth between people as I rammed into their shoulders.

"Slow down!" I scolded, but we were apparently already where he wanted to be. "What's so fantastic that you have to beat me to a pulp to get over here?"

"They're selling leather!" He sighed dreamily. "Half off!"

"Wow," I quipped. "Well we better buy it all because we will never see leather again as long as we live!" I cried sarcastically and then jabbed him in the arm.

He acted like he didn't even feel it. "But this means I can make a new boomerang sling!"

"Oh for badger-mole's sake," I grumbled. Sokka was sifting through stacks of "the best leather in the Fire Nation" according to the salesmen. After nearly fifteen minutes he finally picked a few sheets and happily packed them away in his green bag. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards another stall, but this time, he was a little more careful and kept me close to him.

I spent nearly an hour following him around as he oohed and ahhed over everything he saw. His bag began to bulge at the seams and he decided we had better leave before he bought anything else and ripped it.

We had just left the buzzing market when he stopped. "What are you doing, Snoozles?" I asked turning around to him.

"Here, I got you something." Before I could ask what it was or why he had gotten it he placed something cool in my hands.

"What is it?" I asked. I knew it had some stones on it, and upon further inspection I identified them as jade.

"It's an ankle bracelet. I thought since you always go barefoot, you might like some decoration around there."

"That's so nice, thank you," I said giving him a one-armed hug.

"I'll help you put it on when we get back to the palace."

"No, no, I've got this," I said hopping on one foot trying to tie it around my ankle.

He chuckled and I shot him a warning glare. "First of all, you don't even have it untied, and given you can't see the leather knot on it, I don't think you have this one," he smiled putting him arm around my shoulders and herding me back to a walk.

"Oh, alright," I grumbled.

We went to his room and I settled on a chair as I waited for him to lay out all his treasure he had bought. He was going on and on about the great bargains he got and telling me all about the new sling he was going to make for his boomerang. I held my new anklet in one hand and moved my fingers over it, getting a good look at it. I deduced that it was roughly hewn pieces of jade fastened to a leather band. I could feel the very thin pieces of hide that knotted around the pieces of rock and held them securely to the band. I decided I like it quite a lot.

"Here, gimme," he said touching my fingers. I put the anklet in his hand and he knelt down in front of me. "Right or left?" I pushed my right foot towards him and put my elbows on my thighs, waiting. I had to hold back a breath when he touched my leg gingerly. He pushed the bottom of my dress up and over my knee, letting the pad of his fingers drag along my smooth skin. He wrapped his fingers around my ankle tenderly and placed my foot his lap. While he was undoing the knot in the bracelet I had a second to take notice of both out hearts beating rapidly. I couldn't help but wonder why we were acting like this. He skimmed his fingertips over the top of my foot and went about tying the bracelet securely around my ankle.

I found myself feeling…strange when he didn't touch my leg as he pulled my dress back over my knee. I tried to place the feeling but, I was too busy trying to calm my heart back down. "Thanks," I said awkwardly.

"It looks good," he replied back just as nervously. I stood up and smoothed my dress out.

"Where are all these things you bought?" I asked changing the subject. I followed him over to a desk and ran my fingers over the various items he had snagged. He told me about them excitedly. It gave me a few minutes to place that strange feeling. I couldn't help but remember how gentle his touch was and how he left a trail of Goosebumps over my skin. Then I came to a startling conclusion. I _regretted _that he hadn't touched my leg again when he pulled the hem of my dress down.

"I don't feel so well, I think I'm going to take a nap," I said hurriedly as I practically bolted out of his room, across the hall and into my own. I flopped down on the bed and tried to calm my breathing. I don't know why I was so panicky._ Oh wait, Toph! You just discovered that you liked you're best friend touch. And not just liked it but wanted him to do it again! _I sighed and tried to deny it and blame it on being pregnant but it was no use when I kept getting the willies just thinking of him massaging my calves when they got sore or rubbing the knots out of my shoulders after a day of earth bending. The meteor bracelet on my arm shook angrily as I thought more and more about this.

I groaned and buried my face in a pillow and denied my feelings over and over again. I knew I didn't _like _him like him, but he was just so tender and gentle with me, like I was….breakable. I kind of enjoyed it…ok, I'm lying I LOVED it. He had never ever treated me like I was defenseless but just from that little contact we had just a few short minutes ago (or was it hours? I couldn't tell) I could tell he was being careful with me, not wanting to scare me after what happened with Jai Ling. And I appreciated it. A lot.

And so, I finally I decided I would talk him into rubbing out the kinks in my leg muscles. I just wanted to feel that gentleness again, that careful way he treated me.

So I took a nap and hoped that maybe I would just sleep all these new discoveries off but when I awoke, nothing had changed. I actually found myself…nervous about asking him. I knew he would gladly do just about anything for me, but would having him rub down my calves be too weird?

It was dusk when I finally got the courage up to walk over to his room. I raised my knuckles to the heavy wooden door and almost turned around and bolted back to my room but I shoved my nerves aside and knocked anyways. "Oh, hey Toph, you feeling better?" He smiled.

"Yeah," I said rubbing the back of my neck. "So how was your day?" I asked sheepishly.

"It was great, I started on that sling...but I havent really gotten very far...I thought I heard a mole-mouse." I couldn't help but chuckle when I imagined him tearing his room apart trying to find the little vermin.

"So um I was wondering if maybe...well since I'm pregnant...I mean it's mostly from walking- not that I minded! But I was kind of sort of hoping you could- well if you don't want to- what i meant to say is that my muscles are all knotted in my legs and I was hoping you might rub them for me?" I blabbered. He let out a loud laugh and pulled me inside.

"Of course, Toph. Don't even worry about it, I'll have you ship-shape in no time!"

I smiled awkwardly and he steered me to an overstuffed chair and planted me there and told me not to move a muscles. I heard some clattering come from the bathroom. He was back in a matter of minutes. He plopped down cross-legged in front of me. "Ok, so I found some lotions and stuff...you know I figured you would like them, they smell girly and your a girl so... well anyways this one say it's for relaxation, something about aroma therapy, whatever that means. And this one is lavender and this one is-"

"Aroma therapy sounds great, Sokka," I smiled stopping his prattling.

"Ok," he smiled. I heard a cork pop loose and a flowery smell reached my nose almost instantly. He took my left foot in his lap gingerly. With my other foot I could feel his heart fluttering. It started racing when he pushed the hem of my dress up over my knee and up to the middle of my thigh. I felt blood rush to my face and then his hands were on my ankle squeezing gently. I let my head tip forward, hoping my hair would hide my burning cheeks. His fingers were clumsy and awkward at first but I couldn't help but relax into the soft chair as he rubbed my sore feet. I hadn't realized how tender they were until now. He worked his way up my leg slowly until he reached the bottom of my lean calf muscle.

He rubbed circles with his thumbs and kneaded at the knots. He even made sure to rub out the thin muscles on top og my shin. I was red-faced as his calloused fingers glided over my hairless skin. The rough pads may have scratched me if it weren't for the lotion barrier. Twenty glorious minutes later and he put my left leg down and moved to my right. He worked slower and I could feel his cool breath over my skin. My heart thudded something anew at this. He worked tediously around the anklet and then moved up to my calf.

He left a trail over goosebumps as his fingers ghosted over my shins and then worked into the back of my legs. "I think there's a cut here..." he said softly. I could literally feel the heat of his face when he leaned in to take a closer look...except he was lying about there being a cut.

I felt all the muscles in my body freeze when the tip of his nose brush my knee. If I hadn't been so worried about my own adrenaline pulsing through my veins I might have noticed his pounding heart. And then... I panicked. I jumped up and practically tripped over my own feet in my flight for the door. "Thanks Sokka, I feel a lot better now," I breathed heavily and bolted.

"Toph I-" but I cut him off with the closing of his door. I felt so stupid! Why did I run out! Ugh! Wasnt this what I wanted? I dove into my bed and pulled my knees to my chest. I don't know... I just wasnt ready yet...not for such loving touches...not yet.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Ok so I figured out a way to upload from my iPod so ignore any typos or strange dialogue paragraphs. Any how onto other things! Thankyou guys so so so much for reviewing it make me feel so special and like I'm a good writer it's so encouraging and everyone is so nice! I think I did a better job keeping Toph and Sokka in character this chapter and if it's short I'm sorry it's hard to tell how long it is on this small screen. Now to address NaomiJay: When I wrote Aang hunting the animals I Remembered about his monk ways but I figured I could tweak it just a little and say he's a bit tougher skinned about killing now that he's older And he wanted to impress the love of his life Katara with some of her native customs. Does that make sense or am I only confusing you further? Lol Thankyou for your review btw :) Enjoy!**

We avoided eachother the next day and only spoke briefly the next. However on the third day after the incident Iroh brought an interesting proposition to me. It was silent over our morning tea that day. I was too occupied with things other than conversation. "May I ask you a question?" Iroh asked.

"You just did." He chortled and then continued. "I have noticed my nephew had been secluding himself in his study more and more. Sokka seems to accompany him to discuss trade routes. However I have a feeling that something more sinister is going on than trade routes."

"So you want me to spy?"

"You are very perceptive." I shrugged.

"Ok. I'll go tonight and tell you what I find tomorrow morning."

"Excellent. Now, how is that Willow tea helping your nausea?"

I waited to move that night until Sokka and Zuko were locked away in the Fire Lord's study. I crept along the walls in silence until I reached the large doors of the room and hid behind a pillar in what I hoped was the shadows. I heard Zuko's rough voice first and then Sokka's followed. I tilted my head to better cup the sound to my ears. Scrolls unrolled and compasses placed on a desk. I could feel the two on either side of the desk. Maybe they really were just studying trade routes. _I mean that's what Sokka told me a couple nights ago and he wouldn't lie to me_. At least that's what I told myself when I heard them start to refer to someone in particular. They only called the person "Him"; for whatever reason escaped me. "My resources tell me he was in a little fishing town called Min-Ra two days ago," Zuko said.

"Good. He's nervous. And you know what ostrich horses do when they're nervous," Sokka seemed to prompt.

"They're feet move."

"And when they're feet move they get sloppy." Even I could tell this conversation had nothing to do with ostrich horses. _But what was it about?_ Nothing of strong interest came to pass after that double edged conversation. Only things such as towns and villages and the roads that connected them. I quickly became bored and got distracted by the baby's heartbeat. It was becoming easier to feel everyday now and somehow that made me feel a little better about everything; that maybe I was doing something right. I heard the doors click and I darted down the hall towards my room. I nestled into bed but had a hard time falling asleep. _What exactly were Zuko and Sokka planning?_

I reported my meager findings to Iroh the following morning after hurling my guts up. But before we could really talk Sokka popped in and called me out. But Iroh, being the polite man he was, offered Sokka his seat and left. "So I was thinking we might leave tomorrow morning. Is that ok with you?" He asked awkwardly.

"I'm sorry," I blurted. I clapped a hand over my mouth in surprise. _Where did that come from?_

"What? Are you apologizing? Thats twice in the last month, Toph. This pregnant thing must really be messing with you," he chuckled. "But seriously, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I crossed the line. I'm sorry, I never meant to scare you."

"You didn't scare me, really, just..." _Oh how was I supposed to put this?_ "...just surprised me is all."

"I'm really sorry," he said sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it, Sokka, really." There was a beat. "So do you need help packing all those market treasures?"

We found ourselves back on the road and in no time we returned to the little ranch town and gave back the ostrich horses. We would be on foot from now on, something I wasn't looking forward to. My feet and ankles had swelled when I was on horse back, I didn't even want to think about what would happen now that we would be walking. "Hey this means we can go back to reading our book," Sokka said enthusiastically as we left the ranch."

"That may be but I'm going to be a cripple," I complained.

"Don't worry, I'll carry you." Suddenly the ground was out from under my feet.

"Put me down!" I demanded. I smacked his shoulder and proceed to thrash around until Sokka practically dumped me from his arms.

"For the love of Tui and La, Toph!" He whined. He rubbed his nose where I had elbowed him.

"And let that be a lesson to you," I said sticking my nose in the air. I felt one of his feet leave the ground and I stepped out of the way of his tackle. He dove nose first into the ground. "Your stupidity is showing."

"Where!?"

"Youre going to have to be more careful with me now, Sokka, we can't wrestle anymore, I have a baby to think of."

"Oh. Sorry."

I dusted my hands. "Well now that that's taken care of we probably should make camp."

"Right, right, I knew that." We quickly set up the tent and Sokka lit a fire. We ate a meager dinner and then he tucked me under his arm and read a few chapters of our book. "Toph, Toph. Come on you fell asleep it's getting cold."

"Ok," I mumbled snuggling farther into his side.

"Alright then..." and he scooped me up and when he bent to go in the tent I could feel his warm, sweet breath on my nose and cheeks and it made me smile. He then tucked me into my sleeping bag.

"I'm cold," I complained sleepily.

"Me too but don't worry I'm working on that." In all of ten seconds he was snugged down in my sleeping bag with me and his furs were over us like a blanket. I shivered when his cool arms touched mine. I was grateful for the warmth that radiated from his chest into my back. I flinched when he buried his cold nose into the base of my neck. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Is this ok? I'm just really cold."

"It's fine I know you don't mean anything by it." You that feeling when you just want to punch yourself right in the face? Yeah this was one of those times. _Why did I say that!? I'm so stupid sometimes! Didn't I eventually want more than friendship with him? So why was I shooting him down? Fear of rejection? Yes._ Oh but it was more than that. I craved his touch but when he did I jut panic. Jai Ling had ruined me. I got nervous when things with Sokka went beyond friendly. I closed my eyes and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

I was overjoyed to finally be home. It had been rough traveling on foot what with my ankles swelling and my feet developing blisters when I had never had the nasty little abscesses before. I didn't tell Sokka because I was the Blind Bandit for crying out loud! It honestly embarrassed me that my feet had betrayed me and on top of the searing, stinging pain, they made these nifty little blind spots in my vision. And these blind spots made me bump into things I could have otherwise avoided. To say the least I was tired, sore and snippy. I got so mad when I stepped on sharp rocks and slammed into Sokka when I didn't even know he was there. Let's just say the last rock I stepped on suffered and... So did the rest of the ground within a hundred meter radius. At least now that I was home I knew where everything was simply from memory. Now maybe Sokka would stop pestering me about my clumsiness. On the other hand, during the last few days my morning sickness seemed to slow down some, I may just be over it.

Upon entering my house I promptly fell in the middle of my stone, living room floor and sighed happily. Sokka almost immediately set to making a hot supper. I however reveled for a few minutes on the floor and then went to take a warm bath. Simply being in my house was comforting and yet at the same time it gave me the chills. I couldn't help but think of the first two lonely and horrifying months of my pregnancy. I would have dwelled on it had it not been for the incredible burn when my battered feet hit the water. I screamed in surprise which sent Sokka running to the door knocking furiously with both fists.

"I'm fine, relax."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes," I said waving my hand even though he wouldn't see it through the door.

"Well what had you screaming?"

"Nothing, go away!" My fuse was all but gone at this point. I was mad because my feet hurt, I was mad because I couldn't feel totally comfortable in my own house anymore, I was mad because I was tired, I was mad because I couldn't tell Sokka about my feet, and I was mad because of my mixed and tangled feelings for him!

"Ok, ok, yeesh." I made sure to keep my feet out of the water and hurried to get finished and get out. I wrapped a towel around myself and limped into my room. I changed Into clean wrappings and then pulled a pair of long pants on. I sifted through my draws and yanked out a favorite tunic upon finding it. I smiled as I pulled it over my head. However, my victory was short won when I realized how tightly it fit around my swollen belly. I let out an angry, whiny growl and clawed through my hair. I slammed the draw shut and stomped out into the living room only to cry out when a blister busted against the floor. Sokka was at my side in a second hoisting me into his arms and plopping me down into a chair. "Alright what's wrong?" He demanded

"I'll tell you what's wrong! I'm pregnant and fat and miserable!" I growled.

"Well what's got you crying around here like a tigerdillo whose had his toe pulled?"

"Blisters. That's what."

"Toph! Why didn't you tell me sooner!?" He scolded upon inspecting the bottom of my feet. I crossed my arms and huffed. "These could have gotten infected and then you could have gotten sick and then it could have hurt the baby and-"

"Shut it," I hissed. He hissed right back and left to get what I assumed would be bandages and salves. What I didn't expect was a chunk of food shoved in my hand.

"Here eat that."

"What is it?" I asked smelling it.

"It's chocolate, it'll make you feel better." I was suspicious but ate it anyways. It was delicious to say the least. Meanwhile, while I was distracted with the sweet treat, Sokka took expert care of my feet. The bandages left me blind but Sokka wasn't going to budge about it. So after reading a little we both went to bed where I fell into an exhausted slumber.

But my hands weren't blind and when I felt a huge thud reverberate up the palm I had left on the floor I was scrambling to get up and defend my house against whatever attacker was upon us. But when I jumped to my feet I wasn't aware that the blankets were twisted around my legs and I slammed down on the floor face first. "Sokka!" I yelled. "Come here and help me so I can kick some butt!" However, Snoozles lived up to his namesake and didn't come to my aid. But it didn't really matter, I had already disentangled myself and was headed for the front door where someone was knocking. _Who would knock if they were attacking?_ I yanked open the door an waited for an explanation, but I couldn't see who it was and that only made me angrier.

"Hey guys! I didn't think you'd be here so soon!" Sokka chirped from behind me. I gulped and realized that Katara and Aang were in my doorway and I wasn't ready to face them. I curled my arms over my stomach in a vain attempt to hide the telltale signs of the baby growing inside my body. "Oh... hey you two," I choked awkwardly.


	9. Chapter 9

"Toph!" Katara squealed wrapping me up in a hug. "It's so good to see you! It's been so long!"

"You too, Sweetness," I laughed as she released me.

"Sifu," Aang grinned giving me a small bow. I punched him in the arm and hugged him.

"Cut the crap, Twinkletoes, you know you're happy to see me."

"I am," he laughed hugging me back. He straightened up and I tapped my toes, getting a good look at him. I let out a low whistles. "My, my, my, Avatar, you certainly have grown. It'd been almost two years since I'd seen him, he Had just begun building some serious muscles but now... Wow. He'd hit one last growth spurt and now was tall and equipped with lean, strong muscles. If I weren't blind I probably could have seen them through his Air Nomad robes.

"So how have you been?" Katara asked, Tugging me over to sit on the couch.

"I've been better," I quipped. I could practically feel her puzzlement. I waved my hand, "I'll explain later. Tell me about you."

She sighed happily. "It's been so wonderful, Toph." Sokka and Aang were already founded into a conversation about... Who knows what, guy stuff.

"Elaborate," I prompted.

"Aang has been so wonderful. He's so sweet and he's making such an effort to court me. He's following Water Tribe custom for La's sake. It means so much to me... And he's definitely impressing me," she said swiveling her head to look at Aang.

"Sounds like love to me," I laughed.

"It is, Toph. I'm so in love with him," she breathed. _Gosh, she sounded so happy._ And I was glad her life was falling into place so perfectly, it was more than I could hope for.

"So, when do you think he'll ask you to marry him?"

"Soon I hope," she said caressing her mothers necklace.

I smiled. "I bet he asks you before you leave."

"You really think so?" She asked hopefully.

"I'm pretty perceptive, or so I've been told."

"Enough about me what's been going on with you?"

I gulped. "Oh you know the usual... Kind of. Causing trouble no less. It's been great having my partner in crime back to help me out."

"He seems mellowed out. I wonder if you have anything to do with that."

"What do you mean?" I asked my heart speeding up.

"He seems... Peaceful...happy, like he's got something to be responsible for again."

"Again?"

"Yeah. I mean I'm sure all that truing to be Chief was a lot to handle but it never suited him you know? He's just not been quite the same since he and Suki broke up."

_Suki!? Why on earth hadn't I once thought about her!? Last I knew they were still together and here I was, pining after Sokka like some live-sick teenager! I was such a horrible person!_

"He always seemed to have a sense of belonging and then when they broke up, I don't know he seemed kind of... lack luster. But now," she smiled, "I'm seeing more of the old Sokka."

"Really?" I practically squeaked.

"Mmhmm. And it seems to be because of you. I think you're enjoying his company just as much as he's enjoying yours," she smirked.

"What makes you think that?"

"I'm pretty perceptive, or so I've been told." If I wasn't flabbergasted I might have sensed her wink.

"It's so nice to have you guys back," Aang said through a mouth full of rice, some hours later." Katara insisted she cook dinner for us and so here we were, all crammed around my little table. "I mean, it's almost like the good ol days, normal, I mean." I was suddenly very aware of the baby's heartbeat and I lost my appetite. I had to tell them, tonight. I was banking on Katara breaking the news to Aang so I wouldn't have to tell him directly... I hoped to spare both of us some awkwardness. I "suggested" Sokka take Aang to show him the creek. It took me jabbing in his ribs with my elbow to get it. That left Katara and I alone in the house.

Katara and I sat on my bed, her hands curled around a cup of hot tea. "It's so nice to have another girl to tlak to," Katara said. "I spend all my time with Aang, no that I'm complaining, but it's a welcome relief to talk to another woman other than Gran-Gran," she chuckled. I wrung my hands and nodded my head in acknowledgement that I had actually heard her. "What's on your mind, Toph?" Katara asked me softly.

"Everything." I let out a long breath and rubbed my face with both hands. "I- I didn't exactly call you guys up here for just a visit. I needed to tell you something...something I couldn't just send in a letter."

"What's going on?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh," Katara inhaled sharply, her fingers covering her mouth. "How? Who? I mean- Congratulations!"

"No, Katara, it's not some happy event."

"But, why? I mean, you're not married and all but...you are still single right?"

"Yes, I'm still not married. I didn't mean to get pregnant...it just sort of...happened."

"What are you talking about?" Katara asked, puzzled.

"I met this guy and he asked me out for tea...and I went with him. Katara I didn't even- I didn't even know! I thought I could take care of myself. But- he-he drugged me...put something in my tea, I don't what it was but the next thing I know I'm being loaded into a wagon, and then he's kissing me and I didn't want it. I didn't want it!" I snarled putting my fists over my eyes. "And then I woke up in his house...or his room, its doesn't even matter. But I knew something was...wrong and then I put two and two together and realized I had been-"

"Raped," she breathed, cutting me off. "Toph, you-, we... I'm so sorry." She engulfed me in a hug and a few tears snuck out. I was trying so hard not t let my emotions get the better of me. I was healing now and I didnt want to bust open a scab by letting myself ball my eyes out. "Have you been...ok? I mean, Sokka's not making you feel weird or anything is he?"

"No, no, nothing like that," I sniffed, pulling away from her. "He's been amazing. An idiot sometimes, but amazing. If he hadn't shown up when he did, I don't know where I'd be right now."

"Good. Because if he was bothering you I would have frozen his butt to the ceiling." I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me; the mental image of Sokka with his backside glued to the ceiling was just too funny. "So have you been sick?"

"Yes," I moaned.

"You havent had any cramps or bleeding or anything right?"

"I've been fine," I shrugged.

"So you want me to check you out?" I nodded. I heard the water leaving the waterskin she had stashed somewhere other than on her person. There was a bell-like whistle and I could feel the cool water on my exposed flesh. I heard Katara laugh. "Just as healthy as an ostrich horse," she declared a moment later, send the water back into the skin. "But I wouldn't expect any less from a Bei Fong," she giggled.

"Good. At least I'm doing something right." A tense silence ensued.

"So I'm guessing you want me to tell Aang?"

I sighed. "If you could that would be great...it was hard enough telling Zuko."

"Zuko?"

"Yeah me and Sokka went to pay him a visit...we actually just got back yesterday."

"How's he doing anyway?" I shrugged. "Pretty good. Him and Mai seem happy and really that's all you can ask for in life."

"Iroh's been rubbing off on you hasn't he?"

"Probably," I laughed.

"So tell me all about this baby business!" She yipped like when we were teenagers.

"There's really not much _to_ tell, I mean, you throw up, you pee a lot and that's about it."

"You probably havent felt it move yet have you?"

I shook my head. "No...but I can feel it's heartbeat."

"Really!? That's so exciting! So have you thought of any names?"

"No," I deadpanned. "I-" I paused, trying to think of a way to put this so she wouldn't have the same reaction Sokka did. "I think it's best for the baby is I let another family have him. I know I'm going to mess up and I can't do that to my kid, you know? Please understand-"

"It's ok, Toph. I'm be here for you whatever you do. I'm just glad you didn't go to a back-alley doctor and you... get rid of it. A lot of women get sick or die from that. mediocre doctors make stupid mistakes and can destroy a women's reproductive tract just by being... by being stupid!"

"Gee whiz, Sugar Queen," I said leaning back. "I didnt know bad doctors upset you so much."

"It's- it's just aggravating to see people pose as healers and then end up hurting someone." She let out an angry breath. "Anyways, I'll be cooking from now on to make sure you get everything you and the baby need. Well, that and to make sure you don't poison yourself," she giggled.

"Hey! I'm not that bad of a cook anymore!" I retaliated, punching her in the arm. All in good fun. She laughed and rubbed her arm.

"Ok, ok. I'm going to go get a bath," she said getting up. She stopped and turned in the doorway. "Oh and Toph?"

"Yeah?"

"A baby is always a joyous occasion, not matter what the circumstances."

"Thanks," I smiled.

Later into the night, Sokka and I were curled up in a corner of the couch while he read to me and Aang and Katara were sprawled out on the floor, the airbender playing with his girlfriends hair. I was pretty sure they were too preoccupied to even hear anything Sokka was reading. Which was just fine with me, this story was me and Sokka's thing. We lounged there for probably and hour and then all went to our own separate rooms.

I awoke early the next morning, nervous to know if Katara had told Aang anything. I got my answer when felt feet pounding down the hallway and wind whooshing through robes. Aang let out a whoop and wrapped me up so tight in his arms, Sokka had to pry him off me. "I'm so-! I! You-! Just wow!" He grinned, totally busting with excitement. I couldnt help but laugh. He was still that goofy kid I met 10 years ago. "Don't worry about a thing, Toph! Your Avatar is here to protect you and spoil you and-"

"Shut up before you make any promises you're going to regret," Katara chuckled as she walked into the kitchen. I knew she had told him the whole story...otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned protecting me. He knew I took offense at that...even though now I wasnt really sure I _could_ take care of myself. "We're going to run into town to get some stuff for our stay."

"You're staying?" I blurted.

"Of course we are! I want to be here when the first Team Avatar baby is born!" Aang chirped. I blushed, feeling so very loved in that moment.

"Well then- get out of here!" I shooed. I wasn't about to let them know my mushy feelings. Those were for Sokka's ears only. I grabbed Sokka's wrist and dragged him out the door.

"Where are we going?"

"To see Appa. I missed the giant hairball... and just where is Momo for the love of Agni?"

"Aang said something about him flying off when they passed the Southern Air Temple."

"And they didnt stop him?"

"I guess... he said there were other lemurs there...no the flying kind of course but Aang mentioned Katara spotting one that looked like a girl lemur."

"Aw! Momo found a girlfriend!" It was just so cute, I couldn't help myself. "There you are! How are doing Appa!" I said as I rounded the corner of my house, throwing myself onto his big nose. He groaned pleasantly in response and licked me. Sokka and I visited with him for a while and we said goodbye and headed down to the creek.

It was quiet between us, but comfortably so. I flinched when he fingers brushed the back of mine and quickly pressed my palm into my thigh, hoping I didnt make him feel awkward. For some reason the walk down to the little stream seemed to be taking forever, probably because after we touched, I was hyper aware of him being only inches from me. I inhaled a sharp, silent gasp when his fingers suddenly interlaced with mine. I could feel his heart pounding viciously under his palm. "Is- is this ok?" He asked nervously. I breathed in and breathed out, trying to get myself together. _He was holding my hand. Sokka was holding my hand! _I felt his calloused skin start to slip past my own when I came to and tightened my fingers around his.

"Yeah. This is ok," I breathed. His heart rate spiked and then started to slow a little. This was so... so new! All through my hand and even up my arm a little ways, pinpricks and pleasant tingles crawled in my blood. It was so wonderful, breathtakingly wonderful to have his large, strong fingers wrapped around my hand and in between my fingers. His skin was cool, but mine was on fire. Probably from the blush that was sure to be covering my whole body. My little digits seemed to fit perfectly between his and I felt... safe. Like really safe. His skin was rough and dry, evidence of years of practicing weaponry. My skin was much the same, but much softer. I had my fair share of falls and spills being an earthbender, but I don't think my hands would be as worn as his were. I dared to move my thumb a little and found a large dip. A scar.

I wondered if maybe my own hands were more riddled than his with old cuts and scraped from jagged rocks. We sat down at the creeks edge and listened to the trickling water for a for minutes before my curiosity got the better of me. I twisted so I was sitting in front of him, out knees just touching. I pulled my hand from his and when before he could reclaim his hand in what he was sure to think of as rejection, I pulled his left hand into my lap and ran my fingers over his palm.

I could feel the lines in his palm. I almost massaged his hand as I flitted my fingertips over his skin, searching for scars. There were only minor scratches here and once I explored that side of his calloused hands I turned it over to feel the back. Here was where the scars were. I felt the so subtle dips in his skin where a soft line resided. There was another, just at the base of his wrist, it was long and thin and I would have missed it had my fingers not be so sensitive to touch. I found countless more, some large, some small and barley detected. Then I found a deep, jagged one across two of his knuckles. The soft skin on the scar was somehow different than the others. It felt as though it had never really healed correctly. But that was ok because I don't think any of us would ever heal correctly from the war.

I could imagine every possibility that had caused these scars. The tip of a spear grazing his clneched hand. The blade of a sword slicing across his fingers. And I smiled imagining the less heroic ways he could have been marred. A fishook...maybe even two. A misplaced step and ice rushing up to meet his hands as he fell. But then I remebered my own scarred hands and while mine were from the very earth I bent, his were so undeniabley battle scars. He had become a warrior that summer.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: So before I do anything I apologize for the terrible typos and what not in the last chapter I literally had 9 seconds left in my library session before it kicked me off and I wanted to make sure I got a chapter to you. Anyways! Enjoy!

I ran my fingers over and over that scar on his knuckles. It was my favorite, as odd as that sounds. I felt him shift his thumbs over my hand and rub small circles on the back of my hand, the rough pads of his thumb tugging over my skin. I let out a long silent breath. The wolfbats were still beating around in my stomach, but it was so pleasant, this high. I could feel the blood running through my veins and filling my ears. I reveled in how peaceful it was and how… void of awkwardness. It was amazing really.

_Was this something more than just friends? Well, it seems like it is. But no, why would he want me? _Me _of all people? When he could have any girl in the world, why would he want me? Well…there was that thing with him rubbing my legs…that meant something didn't it? Would he be there after the baby was born? I can't imagine him running off, he's been there for so far. But being pregnant and actually having a squishy little human thing was different entirely. _

My entire body froze when I felt his lips brush the back of my hand. They were soft, gentle and chaste. And just like that, they were gone. I felt a blush flood my cheeks. _Surely that meant something right!? _

A little nudge.

_Hmm what was that? What did this mean? Did he want to kiss more of me?_

A bump.

_That is so irritating what is it? I can't believe he just did that. Just- just wow._

A kick.

I inhaled sharply and yanked his hands over my belly. I waited, my heart thumping in my ears. My baby- my baby kicked! "Sokka!" I yelped. He felt it too. "W-what do I do!?"

"I don't know!" He gasped his hands still splayed over my stomach. A little nudge. "Wow…" he breathed. I couldn't believe what I was feeling. It just felt like a little flutter on the outside but on the inside…it was like a heard of moose lions. The tops of my feet could feel my baby's movements so clearly it took my breath right out of my lungs. I felt a little dizzy to be honest. There was something alive, really _alive _inside of me. I shifted to my butt and Sokka withdrew his hands.

_How could I have ever thought of giving this baby away? _I rest my palms on my stomach and tried to steady my heartbeat. There was something like an iron cable that suddenly hooked itself in my hard. I could feel it in my gut, my hands, my feet, my heart, my head. It was everywhere. _I can't give you away. _I felt so guilty and then tears were tumbling down my cheeks. _How could I? How dare I!? How could I get rid of something so precious? What was this? What was wrong with me? It was love. I loved this small life more than I loved myself. _I knew right then that I would do anything to keep my child safe, even my life. I'd hand it over on a silver platter if it meant my baby's safety.

I tilted my head up towards Sokka. "I can't give it away." He folded me into his lap and hugged me.

"I know." I rubbed circles across my swollen belly and we sat there for ages. I wiped my cheeks and climbed out of his lap. He stood and offered his hand to me. I took it and he helped me to my feet. But he didn't let go once I was steady. He interlaced out fingers and tugged me along back to the house.

"You're a really great friend, you know that Sokka?" I said softly leaning my temple against his shoulder, tentatively.

"My pleasure," he chuckled, his cheek resting on the top of my head. I was still reeling from probably the most tender moment we had ever shared together and I didn't notice his heart speed up.

Two weeks went by without much happening. We had made two trips into town and shopped. We ate to our hearts content, goofed around and things of the like. It wasn't uncommon now for Sokka to take my hands in his anymore. He even sometimes held my hand around Aang and Katara, but never let his fingers collapse through mine unless we were alone.

However, on the first morning of the third week of Aang and Katara being here, a scream pierced the crisp dawn air. I shot out of bed and stumbled towards the door, hoping something wasn't wrong. I bumped into the door frame, my feet not quite yet awake. And then I slammed into another mass of flesh and almost fell on my rear but Sokka grabbed my elbows and held me upright. We both hurried into the living room and just as were about to tumbled out the door, Aang burst in, his heart hammering.

"She said yes!" He half squeaked half yelled. I rubbed my eyes and groaned.

"What are you talking about Twinkletoes?" I mumbled. If I hadn't been so sleepy I might have earthbent him across the yard for waking me up.

"She said yes!"

"I'm aware of that," I deadpanned still not understanding. And then the fog of sleep seemed to clear suddenly. It hit me than. "She- you? Congratulations!" I yelped throwing my arms around him. Sokka gave him a brotherly hug and clapped him on the back. I felt Katara appear at Aang's side and take his hand. I gave her the hardest hug I could manage with my belly. "So when's the wedding?" I chirped.

Katara laughed. "We've only been engaged for like two minutes."

"Oh," I peeped innocently. We all came inside and sat around the living room, Sokka insisting I at least sit on a pillow if I was determined to sit on the floor. I huffed and let him put a pillow under me. He sat right next to me, his thigh flush with mine and his hand found my knee. I felt like all the air had been choked out of my lungs. goosebumps and shivers raged over my skin. I forced myself to breathe only to have the air choked back out when he squeezed his fingers around my kneecap. I could hear him smile and knew he was doing it just to spite me... or maybe not? I rest my hand over his and indeed felt his heart pumping. And I knew he wasnt doing it _only _to spite me.

I was too concerned with that burning spot on my leg to really pay much attention to the conversation, even though I found myself interjecting ideas for wedding decorations and food. And upon mentioning shoes, Katara insisted we went to town and started shopping. We left the house shortly after we changed and had a light breakfast.

And so we went shopping...or rather Aang Sokka and Katara did. I deliberately distanced myself from Katara and Sokka's squealing over shoes and other various items. I had been nursing a headache for the last two hours we had been in the dusty little city. I stopped beside a cart selling jewelry and tapped my toes. There were some interesting pieces. In all honesty I was trying to figure out a way to repay Sokka for being so kind. I moved on from that stall to another. And then another. I hadn't really found what I was looking for. Actually, I didn't even know what I was looking for.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I felt something very familiar. It was safely tucked away in a sheath, it was a different one, but it was just as I remembered it. I couldn't believe my luck! What were the chances really!? I practically ran to the cart and slammed my hands down on the wooden counter. "That's my sword, where did you find it?" I demanded.

"It was traded to me by a Fire nation merchant," the man said in a smooth, eloquent voice. "Are you interested?" He said leaning forward, so close I could feel his hot breath on my face. I almost swatted him away but decided against it.

"Yes, I am," I growled.

"For a lovely young woman like you I will sell it for just ten gold pieces."

"What!?" I shrieked, only sending a shooting pain through my head. "It's mine anyways, it was lost in the last battle of the great war!"

"But how does that earn me any money? Besides, you should consider yourself lucky. This sword is made from an unknown material and is worth much more than a mere ten gold pieces."

"Listen mister," I snarled trying to climb up onto the counter. "Give me that sword or I will personally launch you and this cart out of this town."

"I hardly answer to threats," he sneered.

"Do you know who I am?" I was really losing patience now. My head hurt, my ankles were swelling and quite frankly I was in no mood to deal with idiots.

"I'm afraid I don't." Somehow that seemed to be laced with a double meaning.

I kicked a flat of stone under my feet, pushing me to his height over the counter and grabbed his collar in my fist.. "I'm Toph Bei Fong, the world's greatest earthbender, daughter of Lao and Poppi Bei Fong, hero of the 100 year war, personal friend to the Fire Lord, Master Katara of the Southern Watertribe, the Avatar himself and I am a particularly good friend of Sokka the Watertribe warrior, to whom this sword belongs. Do I need to further convince you of who I am?" He shook his head side to side frantically. "I thought so," I hissed dropping him in a heap on the ground. I snatched up Sokka's space sword and stomped off into town, quite delighted to get in a hissy fit. I hadn't had one of those in a while.

I took a less crowded way back to the main market place. I really didn't want to be wandering in a sea of people getting all bumped around. And it didn't concern me when I felt two extra pairs of feet following me. I made a right and relaxed into a comfortable stroll. I rest a hand on my stomach and felt for a kick, but there was none. Obviously my child was snoozing. I chuckled and shook my head.

"Hey girly," a throaty voice called behind me. I ignored it and kept walking.

"Hey, we're talking to you doll face," said a second voice.

"That's a fine weapon you have there," the first voice said.

I felt them coming closer and right when I was about to sink them into the ground i felt a blade at my throat. I sucked in a gasp and started trembling. His hand roamed down my back and side and my knees almost gave out. Fear like I hadn't felt in weeks came over me and I felt utterly helpless, I forgot I was an earthbender, I forgot I was Toph and only knew the haze of fear. The blade grazed my skin again and I shivered. The seconds mans hands were on my shoulders, he was behind me. I was visibly shaking now. How could this be happening again? "Please, don't," I whimpered when I felt his fingers undo the clasp of my dress at the base of my neck. He ignored me and went down to the second clasp and that's when un-calculating instinct hit me. I shot a slab of rock against the back of his head and pushed the other man away.

Before I had time to spin to face the attacker at my back, his fist already collided against my cheekbone. I felt fuzzy in my head and stumbled into the other mans waiting arms. I jammed an elbow into his ribs and he repaid me with a fist in the side of my ribs. It was then I was so acutely aware of my stomach, swollen with child and I felt my heart stop. What if they hurt him? I pulled my hands up, trying to build a rock shelter around me, but it was quickly shoved back into the ground. They were earthbenders.

"Stop fighting!" One of them growled. I couldnt _not _stop, I _had _to protect my baby. I lashed out with my hands, hoping to scratch, rip or tear anything I could make contact with. I felt my nails sink into the flesh of one of their cheeks. He gave an animalistic cry of pain and fury and hit me on the underside of my stomach. Pain rushed through my pelvis and swam into my lungs. The other man pushed me, and my back slammed into a wall. The sudden shock sent a pain shooting through my body, resonating from my abdomen. A scream wrenched its way through my throat when the pain tangled its fingers in my ribs. I cried out again when I dragged in a breath. All the noise seemed to stall my attackers, but only for a moment before they were advancing on me again.

A sharp wind suddenly cut through the alley and the snap of a water whip came soon after. I had never felt so much relief when my friends showed up. Something warm and wet touched the skin of my inner thighs, but everything hurt too much to care. "Katara, help her!" Sokka yelled. Then I heard the telltale sound of a sword swishing through leather and I knew he had found his weapon. I curled in on myself as the pain intensified. I couldnt explain how horrible it was. I thought I might be sick but then Katara was at my side and I felt a little better. Cool water was on the flesh of my belly and I flinched. I heard her call something out frantically, but I could make no sense of it.

Sokka was suddenly behind me and lifting my shoulder into his lap, cradling my head in his arm. "She's hemorrhaging. Aang bend me a tent or something!" Katara demanded. I felt rock walls shoot up around us. Katara was silent as she pushed the hem of my dress up and over my stomach. I could feel myself blush at my undergarments being exposed with Sokka right there. I guess he had seen them before when we were travelling, but it just seemed more important now.

"Why is there so much blood?" He choked out.

"Miscarriage," Katara said urgently.

I knew what that word meant, it meant my baby was going to die. "No!" I cried. "Help me, Katara! Please!" I sobbed. The pain over took me at my pleas and Katara ripped my undergarments from my body leaving me stark naked. I felt Sokka's lips on my forehead and his eyelashes brushing against my hairline. His hot breath was the only thing that kept me conscious.

"It's ok, Toph. Just please, don't- please, it's ok," he murmured peppering kissed on my forehead. After that I don't really remember anything.

I faintly recall bobbing up and down in the arms of someone. "Is it gone?" I croaked.

"No, Toph, your baby is fine,"Sokka's voice comforted. I let my eyes fall shut and I drifted into sleep with the smell of woodsmoke and salt in my nose.

I woke up to total warmth and realized I was in water. I panicked for a split second but then Katara's voice reached my ears. "How do you feel, Toph?"

"Horrible," I muttered. I blinked and brought my hands from the water rubbing my eyes. "What happened?" I asked, the sleep still clearing from my head. I felt in a daze, really.

"You started to miscarry, but I was able to stop it in time. I don't know what the after effects are going to be... at least not yet."

"But the baby's ok right?"

"Yeah, perfectly healthy, amazingly." I let out a sigh of relief and let my head rest against the edge of the tub.

"How long was I out?"

"Only a day." It was silent as Katara started to wash my hair. "You know, Sokka didn't leave you the whole time?"

"He didn't?"

"No, he even slept right there next to you."

"Oh," I breathed. It was quiet again for a few minutes. "So why am I in here?" I questioned.

"We needed to get the blood washed off you. It just wasnt hygienic."

"Did um... did Sokka, you know- see anything?" I blushed. I felt incredibly stupid for being concerned about something so menial after I had almost lost my baby, but I couldn't help it.

"You'd have to ask him that, I was too busy. Aang stayed outside though... and I think he chased the men down that attacked you. But I'm sure Sokka didn't look."

I breathed out and let my fingers rest on my belly. A reassuring kick touched my palm and I smiled. "Thanks you know, for saving my kid. I'm really glad you were there," I mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," she chuckled from behind me. I finished bathing myself and fumbled with drying myself. I just hurt so much in my hips. It made it hard to stand. But luckily when I went limping back to my room, Sokka scooped me up and carried me the rest of the way.

"Thanks," I muttered after he laid me down and curled up behind me. His nose touched the back of my neck and I sighed.

"I'm glad you're ok," he said reaching over and putting a hand on my belly tenderly. "And I'm glad the kid's ok too," he almost whispered.

"Yeah," I said letting my eyelids fall shut. I couldn't really be happier. He snugged down closer to me and pressed a gentle kiss on my temple.

"Try to get some sleep ok?"

"But I've been asleep for a whole day," I protested.

"Don't argue," he chuckled. His hand found the small of my back and his finger pressed into my muscles. I hissed at first from the pain... and well the shock of his cold fingers against my flesh. But then I relaxed when he started to work out the soreness. "Hey," he said.

"What?"

"I'm really glad you're my best friend."

"Me too, Snoozles," I yawned happily. And I drifted into a dreamless, healing sleep.

**AN: I'm not really happy with this chapter so sorry if it was boring... stupid or cliche. And ignore the spelling and grammar error if there are any have a nice day! :) lol**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: So this one is a little short of 3000 words but I thought I did a good job on it. Kind of a filler, but an EXCITING filler, seriously I almost cried. I would like to give a shout out to a particular reviewer (you know who you are) for being so smart and picking up on my foreshadowing :) On with it! **

**Ok so here I am after the authors note I added towards the end of this and BELIEVE ME you are going to want to read to the end of this one!**

The following morning I awoke with a cold spot on my back. I grumpily realized Sokka wasn't there and I flipped the covers over my back. I was almost asleep when the mattress sank behind me. "Trying to shut me out or something?" He chuckled pulling the covers back and curling around me.

"Where were you?"

"I had to pee."

"Lovely," I sighed. I nestled my cheek into the pillow and pressed my shoulders into Sokka's chest a little more. He slung his arm over my belly and gently tapped with his fingers. A little kick answered him and I almost laughed. He moved his fingers and drummed against my belly again. A harder kick to his fingers. I smiled and rolled over to face him. He didn't stop his game of tag with my baby as I moved. I put my arm under my head and yawned. "Good job, Sokka, you woke him up."

Sokka chuckled and flitted his fingers to another part of my stomach. "You think it's gonna be a boy?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Maybe, I just… it's been… _hard_ to really think of things like that."

"Yeah," he sighed taking his hand from my belly and finding my own hand that wasn't trapped under my head. He let his fingers fall between mine and rubbed his thumb over my skin. "Are you doing ok with all of this?" He asked.

"Im doing the best I can. It just seems like the universe is out to get me. I mean, come on I have worse luck than a cabbage merchant."

He chuckled at that and let our hands rest between us on the sheets. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry all this had to happen to you. No one deserves all the crap you've been through."

"It's not your fault, Sokka."

"Well maybe if I had just been there or something!" He growled. I flinched and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. "I just can't help but feel if I had been here, all this might not have happened."

I pushed him away from me gently. "What are you talking about? You couldn't have expected yourself to be here with me twenty-four seven. You had your own life to live."

"But I didn't even do anything that important! If I was here I could have protected you from that creep and you wouldn't be pregnant right now." That stung but I let it slide.

"Listen I-"

"And you wouldn't have had to go through all that pain. What did I miss the in the first eight weeks huh? You were here by yourself and anything could have happened! And two days ago, I wasn't there and those men jumped you!" He growled. "I-"

"Sokka, would you just stop!" I snapped. "Its not your fault ok!? Even if you were here these things-"

"Listen, Toph. If I was just around to keep an eye on you all of this would've never happened," he said sharply.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"

"And that's exactly why your pregnant isn't it!? Why you're not virgin anymore, huh!?"

I clapped my hand over my mouth and everything inside me shattered. I felt the tears in my eyes. "Get out."

"What?" He breathed.

"I said get out, Sokka! Get out of my room, get out of my bed, get out now!" I snarled jabbing a finger towards the door.

"Toph, I-"

"Get out! Get out, get out, get out!" I screamed. I felt his weight leave the mattress and then the door clicked shut a few seconds later. I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow and sobbed. I clamped my teeth down on the fabric and screamed. I cried so hard I felt the soreness in my hips return full force. But I didn't care. I didn't care! I curled up and let my tears fall freely. _Why? Why did he say that? _I rolled over and put my hand on the floor and blocked the door off with a stone slab. I knew everyone in the house had heard us yelling. And I wanted to be left alone. I put my face in my pillow again and wept.

_How could I have been so stupid? Of course he wouldn't want me now that I wasn't a virgin. He wouldn't want a baby. He didn't want me at all. What was he doing these past few months then? Was it pity? Did he pity me and felt like he had to dole out sufficient supplies of sympathy? Why had I let myself like him as more than a friend? Why did I let myself believe he wanted me, maybe even like my baby? But, what about that thing in the Fire Palace? What about the anklet he gave me? Why did he hold my hand all the time? What was with all those nights he let me sleep beside him and keep me warm? It didn't make sense. It doesn't make sense! _I gripped my head and cried harder.

His words had cut me deeper than anything. Even what Jai Ling did to me didn't compare to this agony. _I thought Sokka was my very best friend. Why would he say those things_? The pain wound its way up from my pelvis and into the muscles in my waist. I thought he loved me, loved me the way a friend does. And I had foolishly thought maybe more than a friend one day. I thought he even loved my child. But he made it clear he didn't want me or my filthy offspring. He hadn't said it but he meant it, that I was sure of.

I didn't stop crying even when the strain reached my ribcage. I couldn't even begin to comprehend how bad my heart hurt. I had let him in and look where that got me? A tangled mess of blankets and tears. All I could hear was _"…not a virgin anymore…" _I heard him saying it over and over again. And it hurt worse every time. He kept telling me it wasn't my fault I was raped. He was only telling me that to make me feel better. But it was my fault, he made that clear. He blamed me.

By the time pain reached the creases of my legs and spider-webbed around my thighs I had stopped crying. I was too exhausted. My lament had sucked the little store of 'go' I had stockpiled and I fell into an energy-deprived, dreamless slumber.

I woke up to a loud groan from my stone floor. I put my palm on the floor. It was Aang. I pulled the covers tighter around me and tried to blink the soreness from my eyes. I felt… numb. "Toph?" His incredibly humane voice asked. I didn't answer him- I didn't want to talk. "What happened?" He asked, the bed dipping down at the small of my back. I only shouldered the blanket around me farther and hid my face from him. It was so quiet that if I didn't know better I would have thought he left. His strong hand wrapped around my little shoulder and I flinched away from it.

I was so tired of being this weak little girl but Sokka had cut me deep and I couldn't find it in myself to do anything about it. "Please tell me what happened?" My student asked. I ignored him. There was a moment of silence again. "Well if you won't talk to me maybe Katara, she wants to check up on you and the kid." I felt something inside me sink a little, he sounded so happy even in such a gentle, hushed voice.

He left and then Katara came and pried my blankets away from my fists more gently than I thought possible. I rolled to my pushed my tunic over my belly and the bell-like ring of healing water reached my ears. She checked me over shortly and told me that everything looked good except for some tight muscles and a few burst blood vessels in my tendons. I rolled away from her.

"I don't know what he did, but I'm sure he's sorry," she said softly pulling the blankets back over me. It was quiet after that. I laid there for a while and ignored my growling stomach as the hungry sensation came and went. I slept for short bouts but had to get up when my kid kicked my bladder. I limped into the bathroom, hoping I wouldn't run into anyone, namely Sokka. I went back to my room and started a fire in the fireplace and snugged under my covers. It must have been chilly outside today.

Aang came back a few hours later in a miserably chipper mood and had brought me a late lunch. He tried to lift my spirits by chatting away about some kind of necklace he had made Katara. He said she was wearing it already when they announced they were engaged, but I guess I hadn't picked up on it. I only ate for the sole benefit for the baby. I really could have cared less about myself and the food was tasteless as it went down. After I finished he took the dishes and told me to feel better.

I fell into some kind of depression over the next few days. Well, Katara had said I lost a lot of blood in the alley, so maybe that's why I was so tired. But, I knew the dull ache in my chest was sadness and everything else just felt numb. Maybe I was just being a big baby.

I felt my strength slowly coming back to me a week after my near-miscarry. I got up and took a bath and changed into full length pants and a big, long sleeve tunic Katara had bought me recently. I crept towards the door early one morning, even before Twinkletoes was up. But Sokka was slumped over the kitchen counter. I ignored him and opened the door, a cold rush of wind hitting my face. "I'm sorry." He murmured. If I didn't have sharp ears I wouldn't have even heard him.

"Me too." I rushed out after that and wandered around the yard. I eventually came upon Appa and decided he needed somewhere to get out of the wind. So I bent a huge tent for him, taking care to make sure the entrance pointed away from the direction the weather usually came and made sure it was big enough he could turn around in it. I felt a little drained after that and my face fell. I had never felt tired that soon after earthbending. I put my hand on Appa's big, fluffy cheek and led him inside. He gave me a low rumble in thanks and I spent a while with him, just being quiet.

Another three days came and went and Katara happily announced to me that I was officially six months pregnant. Only three more months left. That thought alone sent me into a near panic attack that I rode out in the confines of my room. I called Katara in a few minutes later. "Um, so how much is it going to hurt?" I blushed.

"I won't lie to you, Toph, even if I could. It's probably going to be the most painful thing you'll ever experience."

"And, um just what is going to happen while I'm in labor?" I wrung my hands nervously.

"You'll have muscle cramps mostly. They'll start of small and then get more and more intense. And you might get sick to your stomach, maybe back pain. It all kind of depends on your body," she explained gently.

"So how will I know when it's time?" I felt like an idiot. No one had cared to explain all this to me. And I was scared.

"Well, your water will break, which is just the fluid around your baby, it's perfectly normal. And then you'll feel some cramps."

"Will it hurt when my water breaks?"

"No, but you'll feel like you peed your pants," she said with a little laugh putting her hand on my arm. I smiled weakly.

"Ok and um, I know how you're supposed to feed babies, but I don't know _how _you're supposed to feed babies." Katara explained it to me and then she told me how I was supposed to hold one and change one and things of the like. Somehow we ended up talking about clothes and then baby names and then wedding decorations. My hair was in a braid by the time we were done. "Thanks, Katara. I really appreciate it, you have no idea. I would be totally lost if you weren't here."

"No problem. It's what friends are for."

"Yeah, friends with freakish amounts of baby knowledge," I smiled. She laughed and patted my shoulder.

"We're all going into town, you wanna come?"

The next day I awoke at an unearthly hour of the morning and had the strangest feeling. I just wanted to eat a whole container of pickled cucumbers. I got up and wrapped a warm robe around me and made a beeline for the kitchen. I had to earthbend a little step so I could reach the top shelf of the cupboard. It came with the territory of my height. I dragged my fingers along the bottom of the shelf until they bumped into a glass jar. I sat down at the table and popped the lid off. I reached in and found it filled to the brim with pickled cucumbers. I sat there eating every delectable morsel of the sour vegetable I came by.

I felt someone walk in from the hall, hesitate and then walk over. Sokka sat across from me at the table. I didn't stop eating but I wasn't enjoying it as much now. I pulled my feet up, trying to distance myself from him in every way without having to renounce my claim at the table. I heard him take a deep breath and I knew he was about to talk to me. "Toph… I-" he stopped and let out a breath. I sucked some cucumber juice from my fingers. "I'm so sorry about what I said." Silence. I wasn't sure I was ready to forgive him… or was I even mad at him? I didn't know, all I knew was the dull ache that came back from the deep wound he had made in my heart. "I don't know why I said the things I did. I just… I felt helpless after those guys jumped you."

I grabbed another cucumber and took a bite. "I can't even begin to tell you how scared I was when we found you." He tapped a finger on the table nervously. "You just… looked so- and there was so much blood." His voice was strained, almost like he was in pain. "I was so scared, I thought you were going to die… and then Katara told me you were miscarrying. I thought the baby would die, right there in my arms, even if I couldn't see him."

I accidentally swallowed an exceptionally large chunk of cucumber and almost choked. "You were scared for my baby?"

"Well, yeah." I could hear the shrug in his voice. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I thought you didn't care," I said, downcast.

"I guess I sounded like that. But I do care, Toph, I really do. I'm just so sorry about everything I said. I was mad and I felt like my hands were tied, like I can't help you. I never ever meant to hurt you. I'm such a jerk for saying that stuff. I don't want you to think I blame you for anything, even if I sound like I did. None of this is your fault and I never meant for it to sound like it. Spirits, Toph, I am so, so, so sorry."

It was silent for a moment as I let his words sink in. I had let my toes onto the floor when he started the second sentence. He wasn't lying, he was being genuine. I forgave him, even if I wasn't sure I was even mad. It felt right, he had hurt me and now he was sorry. I bit my bottom lip and held out the food in my hand. "Cucumber?" I offered gently.

"Yeah," he said taking it from me and biting into with an audible 'crunch'.

**(AN: Your lucky, I was gonna end the chapter there, lol)**

And so Sokka and I were once again inseparable. We were attached at the hip and did almost everything together. He made me all the foods I was craving and listened to my incredibly abnormal dreams and read to me. We came to find a new activity we liked. We would sit outside on a surprisingly conformable earth bench I made, wrapped in a hugely fluffy blanket and drank hot tea. I only let Sokka brew it once because it almost killed us both and then I made it after that. He would watch the sunset and I would watch him. We always held hands and I could feel his heartbeat and every little twitch he made. It was probably my favorite part of the day... well right next to reading our book. We only had a few chapters left now.

It was exceptionally chilly that evening and we were snuggled against each other, our tea already having been drank. This was probably the last night we would get to sit outside like this, I felt a snow storm on the way. I was glad this had been a long fall this year because it gave us more time to sit out here like this. "I wonder how Momo's doing?" Sokka asked taking my hand in my under the turtleduck down blanket.

"Does it get cold in the Southern Air Temple?" I asked.

"Probably." I rested my head against his shoulder and sighed.

"I'm really happy. Are you?" I said quietly. It was too peaceful for loud voices.

"Yeah." I could feel his cheek plump out in a smile against the top of my head. "I'm happy."

"Crazy that I'll have a baby in three months huh?"

"Tell me about it," he chuckled.

"And Aang and Katara getting married in the spring?" I said. "Things are changin'."

"That's for sure, but they're good changes."

I giggled. "Yeah but I'll always miss that summer. Well... minus the fighting and brushes with death."

Sokka laughed out loud. "I am so glad we're friends, Toph." He gave my hand a strong squeeze. I tightened my fingers around his in response.

"Me too."

It was quiet for a long time after that. I could feel the sun's rays on my face, making one last, heated glare in the last minutes before it sunk below the horizon. I felt Sokka's pulse quicken and he moved his shoulder our from under my head. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing," he answered "Just thinking."

"Don't try too hard, you might hurt yourself," I smirked. And then, he was everywhere. I felt the warmth of his body radiating off him. He was so close and... his lips were on mine. An electric jolt shot through me and I felt adrenaline pumping through my blood, my heart hammering against my chest. His lips were soft like they were on my hand, or my temple, or my forehead but this was _different_. His hand had tightened around mine. His lips moved against mine, so incredibly gentle and I felt my eyelids slide shut. I pressed my lips against his softly. And then he pulled back, slow. I opened my unseeing eyes and blinked. I felt his hand heat up from a blush at the same time mine rushed up to my face. "So... um,"

"Yeah," He replied rubbing the back of his head.

"Um- we should probably-"

"Go inside now."

"Right," I blushed.

_WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED?_


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: So if someone would do fanart for this… I would die of happiness and elation. Seriously, currently it is my DREAM to have someone do fanart for this. For real guys. And if you yourself don't draw, find someone else who can and tell them to read and fanart! And if someone does perhaps draw something give me a link so I could see it! It would be the most amazingist, awesomest thing ever! J In fact, forget reviewing just draw me something instead! Jk, but, seriously. Again, you're all awesome! A shorty, but a goody!**

We avoided each other the next day like pentapox. He made use of his time by dragging Katara down to the creek to fish "like the good ol' days" he said. Aang and I caused absolutely no mischief. He insisted I "relax" which translated into sitting on the couch all day. I love the man, but Haibai! He was boring! So I took a nice long bath. I just had to get away from him, he never stopped moving and all the chatter!? I slapped my forehead with my wet hand just thinking about it.

I then went outside despite all his protesting. I could feel his arms flailing around over his head telling me "you could get a cold!" and "what if you trip and fall!?" Something inside of me snapped.

"Aang! Shut it!" With that I sent him flying into the air via earth pillar. He *grits teeth* _of course_, floated down to the ground with barley a vibration. "You're driving me mad!" I threw a huge boulder at him that I stomped up. He broke it into harmless fragments before it even reached him. I almost ripped my hair out. "Would you just take it like a man, Twinkletoes!? I want to hit something!"

"Toph, I really don't think you should be earthbending in your-"

"What? In my _condition_? Come on say it Aang! Just say it! I'm fat and bred! I know, for the love of Tui and La, I know! I'm massive! I'm- I'm the size of a hippo-cow!" I screamed.

"That's actually not-"

"Yes it is! Just hold still!" I growled shooting a rock at him and when his attention was on the immediate threat, I jabbed him in the back with a slanted column.

"Ow, Toph, I wasn't even going to say-"

I let loose a guttural sound and stomped off. Stupid airbender, stupid Avatar, stupid, stupid, stupid! I built myself an earth tent far away from the sulking Avatar and sat on my butt. And then I cried and cried. For what reason I had no knowledge of, I just cried.

_Why am I crying? There must be something wrong with me! _That only made me cry harder. _I feel awful! Why was I so mean to him? He only wanted to help. _Another shuddering sob. It took me a few minutes to calm myself down and then I disassembled my tent and dragged my feet back over to Aang. I stood in front of his slumped form on the earth bench and scuffed my toe in the dirt. "Sorry," I muttered. And then, feeling extra bad, I held my arms out awkwardly. They were filled with a very much happy Aang. He gave me the tightest hug he could manage over my huge stomach.

"Aw, it's ok, Toph."

"And if you tell anyone about this… I will personally cut you into small pieces and then hide those pieces in the walls of my house. Agreed?"

"Yep," he gulped, releasing me. I went back inside, wanting to get away from the crisp air. I grabbed yet another jar of pickled cucumbers and sat on the couch, munching them down. Aang audible grimaced and gagged at my "interesting choice of food."

When I felt Sokka and Katara approaching later that day I bolted into my room, cradling a fresh jar of cucumbers with me as I ran… well waddled, to the back of my house. I didn't want to face Sokka, not yet at least. I lit the fire, wrapped a blanket around me and plopped down in front of the fireplace with my delectable, sour, scrumptious cucumbers. I was left alone for a while, that is, until Katara came knocking. "Come in," I called begrudgingly.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Fine. Did you catch any fish?"

"Yeah. Four big ones. So uh, Aang told me what happened."

"Of course he would," I mumbled. "Is that even normal?" I blurted.

Katara laughed. "It is. Your hormones are just all out of wack. Nothing to worry about, that is, unless you try to kill my fiancé again."

I chuckled and nodded. "I'll try not to."

"Oh and I think Sokka wanted to talk to you or something," she said.

"No! I mean, it's probably not-"

"Hi, Toph," Sokka said. I groaned and covered my face. He used his sister to get the door open so he could slip in. Stupid, but ingenious. I felt Katara scurry out and slam the door behind her. "We need to talk."

"No we don't," I whined.

"Yes we do," He said sitting next to me on the floor. It was awkwardly quiet for a moment. "So um... I kind of kissed you."

"Well I kind of kissed you back," I mumbled, putting the lid back on the jar, having lost my appetite. "So what does that mean, exactly?"

"Whatever you want it to mean."

"That's real helpful, Sokka," I deadpanned. Quiet again. "So does that mean you kind of might _like _me?" I asked softly.

His pulse sped, even faster than it was when he first walked in. It was a wonder the human body didn't just explode sometimes. "Yeah, I kind of do like you, Toph."

"Oh," I blushed. I mean, I definitely suspected he liked me like that, but hearing it... well that was a different story. "So does that mean we're... together?"

"Only if you want us to be," he replied gently.

I sighed. "I- I don't know... I mean maybe just not yet..." _I was chickening out!?_ I wrung my hands together. _No Toph BeiFong! You will NOT back out of this! _"Can we just kind of take it slow? Feel it out, I mean?"

"Of course." There was a tender pause. "I won't pressure you into things you're not comfortable with."

"I know you won't," I said patting his knee.

"Then is it ok if I kiss you?"

I gulped and a shiver ran down my spine. I nodded. I heard the quiet rustle of shifting fabric as he came closer. My heart rate spiked and I was breathing like I had just run a mile. He settled between my knees and leaned in. I leaned back on my hands, nervous to boot. Last time it had been unexpected but this time I knew it was coming and I felt like I was shaking like a leaf. He cupped my face in his hands tenderly and instantly I felt calmer. I could feel his sweet breath on my face. Our noses brushed and I blushed even harder. He gave me a sweet kiss and our lips parted with a tiny smack. And then he kissed me again, slower. I was pretty sure I stopped breathing when his lips parted just a little and pressed against mine again. A wave of chills raced over my skin and I gave him a tentative kiss back. His fingers gripped my face a little tighter and he tilted his head to one side. I felt a little braver, suddenly, and parted my lips a little and closed them against his. He literally pulled my lips against his and I heard him suck in a breath. His kiss instantly heated and I felt like I was drowning in him. It wasn't until he groaned a little in pain that I realized my fingers were tangled in his hair. It was odd, I had never really had a chance to feel his soft hair before. It was long and in a (all thanks to me) mangled ponytail. Long, considering he used to have it shaved on the sides. I loosened my grip and returned his intense kiss. He pulled back with a 'smack' of our lips parting. I felt a little embarrassed at first like I had gone overboard and then I realized it was simply because he was being a gentleman.

"Was that ok?" He fumbled, almost breathless. I could only manage a nod. "Good," he murmured pulling me into his lap and wrapping the blanket around both of us. With warmth from his chest at my back and a fire heat on my face, I decided I was probably the happiest person in the world.

**AN: I was pulling my hair out trying to write that kiss scene! I wanted to make it kind of modest so what did you think? Too descriptive, just right? :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I had writers block but then i remembered an idea I had so hopefully I can stretch this and make it a long one for you guys because my past few have been short. GOOD NEWS! I'm getting my laptop fixed and once that is all go you'll hopefully have more and longer updates! Thanks for reading and again with the fanart, I will die if someone draws for this story! :)**

Two weeks had passed since our kiss by the fireplace. Oddly enough, we hadn't shared such a passionate kiss since then. He gave me a kiss on the cheek every morning, whether or not he was waking me up or I was waking him. Then throughout the day he would give me little pecks on the cheek, temples or forehead. However, every single night he gave me a sweet, chaste kiss on my lips before I fell asleep. I was happy. Extremely happy. That is until one eventful afternoon in the middle of the month.

A scream jolted me from my nap with Sokka on the couch. My favorite warrior leapt from the couch and was off and running before I had even sat up. It was so difficult doing _anything _with this huge belly!

"Aang!" Katara cried from behind me in the kitchen. "Come quick!" When my toes touched the floor I could see her standing over by an open cupboard and a sac of flour around her feet.

"What's wrong!?" Sokka asked, coming to a halt in front of her.

"Katara?" Aang asked upon his arrival not a second after Sokka's.

"Kill it! Kill it!" She cried.

"Kill what?" Sokka groaned.

"It's a bear-spider! It's huge!" She answered. I heard the distinct slap of skin on skin, no doubt the fleshy impact resulting from Sokka's palm and forehead meeting.

"What?" I whispered to myself sitting back down on the couch.

"Alright, alight, where is it?" Sokka asked, pushing her aside.

I felt heat rising in my stomach.

"Wait! Don't kill it!" Aang interjected quickly.

A little spark flared in my gut.

"Oh come on, it's not like you haven't killed an animal before," Sokka complained.

"That was different," he said in a low voice.

_You __have_ got_ to be kidding me!_

"Just get rid of it!" Katara ordered, obviously flustered. Bickering rose from the three of them. A tiny heartbeat appeared in Aang's hand.

"Ugh! How can you hold that thing?" Snoozles blanched.

_I can't believe it._

"He's not hurting anyone," the Avatar answered.

The heat flared up to my face.

"Just take it outside! Katara yelled in a shrill voice.

Something inside of me just snapped. "You woke me up over a bear-spider?" I said darkly, "a BEAR-SPIDER!?" I yelled. Everyone froze and I could feel their gazes on me. "Are you kidding me!? Do know how little I've slept the last week!? It's a stupid little bug! For the love of Tui and La, Katara! Do you have to spaz out about everything! I- You- it- ugh!" I screamed stomping off.

Her jaw fell open. I slammed my door shut and curled up under the covers in a ball in the center of my bed. I was fuming! Why did people have to be so... so, so peopleish!? I stayed under the blankets for maybe an hour, during which I felt guilty for yelling at Katara. Well, not really guilty about yelling, but telling her she spazzed out about everything... even if it was true. A soft knock came from the door. I put my fingers on the floor before allowing the person entrance. "Come in, Sokka," I called, sitting up.

"Hey," he said coming in and shutting the door behind him. "You feeling better?"

"I guess," I shrugged. I heard him chuckle. "What?" I demanded.

"I'm sorry, Toph, but you just look so pathetic." I opened my mouth to give him a good lashing but he beat me to the next sentence. "Not like that, it's just your hair."

"What about my hair, Meathead?" I snapped.

"It's everywhere. I saw it everyday in the morning when we were traveling, but you just look so cute," he chuckled. I crossed my arms and huffed. The bed dipped beside me when he sat down. "It's endearing," he said softly. "With your red nose," he said, brushing his finger on the tip of my cold nose, "and your little cheeks." He cupped my face in his hands and my heart went crazy. I still hadn't grown used to this much physical contact from him. "And those big green eyes," he smiled. "And these perfect lips," he breathed, running his thumbs over my lips. I felt my breath coming in shuddering gasps. He leaned forward and my eyelids fell shut, waiting for the soft brush of his lips on mine. I leaned in and just barely caught his lips before he pulled away.

"Kiss me, you big dummy," I whispered yanking on his collar and bringing his lips back to mine. He chuckled low in his chest, I felt him smile against my mouth and then he kissed me back. I let out a happy sigh. His fingers toyed with the ends of my hair before tangling in the dark strands. He ran his strong fingers through my hair, gently tugging at the tangles. He deepened the kiss and both of his hands locked into fists pulling, almost a little painfully, at my scalp. My hands snaked their way around his back and pulled him closer to me. I twisted so my torso was fully facing him. He pressed his chest into mine and our kiss grew more passionate. Before I could register the sound of the door clicking open Aang was already screaming something about his eyes burning and backing out quickly.

Sokka and I separated just in time to see his orange and yellow robes swishing through the door frame, almost getting caught in the door. My cheeks burned and I felt heat crawl up Sokka's skin into his cheeks. I pulled my hands from his back but he pulled me into him and kissed my cheek, and then my jaw, close to my ear. He placed a long, sweet kiss under my jaw and then my neck. My breath caught in my throat, my whole body froze and panic stirred in my belly. He kissed me again, a little harder. And a vague memory flashed into my mind. "Stop," I whispered. He didn't hear me and moved down my neck a little farther. "Stop," I said a little louder, but he kept kissing me. "Sokka, stop!" I cried pushing him back. I pushed my self against the wooden headboard and gulped in air.

"Toph, I'm so sorry," he said hurriedly. I didn't answer him, I _couldn't_ answer him. Chills crawled over my skin and I blinked trying to clear my head. "Toph, please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

I cut him off. "It's ok, you didn't hear me the first two times.

"You told me to stop _twice_?" He gasped in horror. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I- I am _so _sorry," he said in a pained, quiet voice.

"It's ok, I just... remembered something," I forced out. I felt him creep closer and I flinched. "Listen, I'm not mad don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault." I was finally starting to feel like I was getting some air into my lungs. "I just need a minute, ok?" He picked up on my hidden message right away and slunk out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands.

_Jai Ling's lips brushed against my neck and he growled something but I couldn't really hear what he was saying. It felt like koala-sheep wool had been stuffed in my ears. He teeth brushed my skin and I shivered. I tried to push him away but my arms wouldn't move. Panic rose in my throat and I tried to push him off of me again but it was no use, I couldn't move. I tried kicking him, biting, anything just to get away from him, but my body wouldn't answer me. Why wouldn't it answer me? Why? Why me? Why? I cried in my head. A tear slipped over my cheeks and slid down my neck, stopping when it touched the side of his mouth. He kissed the salty water from my skin. _

I realized I was shaking then as I came to the end of the foggy memory. I felt dirty. I got up as quickly as I could and darted into the bathroom. I tore my clothes off and sat in the tub before the water had even turned warm. I started crying. It was just like after I got home. It was all the same. I shivered when the cold water touched my bottom. _It won't ever stop, I won't ever be clean again._ I hadn't had such a relapse in a long, long time and now here I was again, sobbing in my bathtub, about to rub my skin until it was raw. I felt that horrible weight drop into my chest; depression, anxiety, utter horror, take your pick. I cried even harder when I thought I might be sick again. I managed to calm myself enough to keep the contents in my stomach and not on the floor.

The water was hot, too hot really but I didn't care. _Hot water was supposed to kill germs right?_ I grabbed the sea sponge and rubbed soap on it and scrubbed my arms.

Sokka found me an hour later curled up against the wall in a towel:

"Toph!" He yelled over his pounding on the door. "Please answer me! Are you ok!? I'm sorry!" He hollered. I tried to keep my cries hidden from him, but somehow I knew he could hear me. "Are you decent? Please tell me you're decent before I bust in this door and find out myself." "Toph!" It was quiet for a moment but then I heard a little metallic picking noise and the lock click open. I fisted my hand a little tighter around the top of the towel covering my shaking body. "Oh," he said gently creeping towards me. I turned my face away from him, ashamed I was such a mess again. "It's alright. You're safe. It's over, come on," he coaxed putting his arms under my knees and shoulders. He hoisted me to his chest, making a soothing "shh" sound through his teeth. I let my cheek fall against his shirt and sniffled. "You just need a good, long nap and you'll be as good as new," he said tightening his hold on my legs. His rough fingers scratched along my burning skin and I hissed. "Toph, you've got to quit doing this to yourself," he said laying me on the bed. He brushed back my damp bangs with the back his hand.

"I'm sorry," I said through chattering teeth. If it was from the cool air or cold memories, I couldn't tell. He moved away and I felt the heat go with him. I heard him throw wood into the fireplace and light it. I snugged down in the covers and closed my eyes.

"I'm the one that should be sorry."

"You say that one more time and I will personally shove a pick under your kneecap and pop it off," I growled. He chuckled and sat down beside me. He cautiously went to lay down next to me and when I didn't move away he pulled the blankets back and pulled me to his chest before covering both of us back up. I felt warmth seep through his shirt and through the damp towel. "I need to change," I said quietly, my cheeks burning.

"Right," he said. He left the room and I changed into clean under clothes and a pair of long pants and his tunic he had forgotten all those years ago. It was starting to pull tight against my belly. I sighed dejectedly and crawled back into bed.

"You can come in now," I said.

Before I knew it we were waking up. I was warm and content, and not so stressed as before. I could hear the quiet crackles and pops coming from the dying fire. Sokka got up, startling me a little, I had no idea he was awake. He stoked the fire and then tugged on my hand. I got up and sat beside him. He pulled my arm to him by the wrist and ran his fingertips over my angry red skin gently. His touch was so light it didn't hurt but tickled. "You need to get some lotion on that or something," he said getting up and disappearing from the room. I felt him hurry into his room and shuffle around and then come jogging back with an animal hide bag in his hand. He pulled it apart at the seams and sat at my feet.

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's perfumed whale blubber. It's lotion basically, but a whole lot more healing. I brought it with me in case I got into a patch of ivy-bramble or something and well, you need it more than I do."

"Oh... thanks," said. He reached his hand out and I took some of the lotion from the bag and rubbed it between my palms. I spread it on my arms and worked it in. It was soothing to my burning flesh, but also warm, which was nice considering I my muscles hurt. I jumped a little when Sokka touched my ankle.

"Hey, just like the Fire Palace ok?" He said. I nodded and he rubbed the blubber into my legs gently, careful not to scratch me. He massaged my calves as he went and made my legs feel like blasting jelly... well at least before it exploded. He touched the top of my feet tenderly. Yes I had even made my feet feel a little raw. His fingers dug into my feet in a nice way. His foot rub was amazing. And it was the strangest thing. I got a really good look at him. I noticed how a wayward lock of hair fell over his forehead in a very adorable way. I could feel how his bad leg was muscled and tissued in a different way from his other leg. And I could even feel scars along his body. I knew they must have been very deep for me to be able to _see _them. I couldn't see very fine detail but detail nonetheless. And these must have been pretty gnarly wounds at some point to make such an impression in his skin that it became a detail.

When he finished I got back into bed and slept until early evening. I didn't wake until someone knocked on my door and pushed it open soon after. I got up and stretched. "Oh, hey Katara."

"We're going into town for dinner if you want to come."

"Sounds good." She made to leave but I stopped her. "Listen about this morning-"

"It was afternoon."

"Afternoon, I'm sorry."

"Me too," she msiled. "Now get dressed!" She laughed.

Such a simple task should be menial when getting ready for diiner but not this time. She found me a few minutes later sitting in the middle of my floor crying, a shirt twisted in my hands. Clothes were scattered about and a large whole in the wall. "Toph, what happened?" She gasped in horror.

"Nothing fits me!" I wailed. "Only these pants and top do now! Yesterday's outfit seemed to fit but now it doesn't. I'm so fat!" I cried, hanging my head. "And why am I so mad then happy, then sad and then happy and then even more sad?"

"Oh, sweetie," Katara cooed bending down and warpping her arms around my shoulders. "You're not fat, you just pregnant...very pregnant. And we'll buy you some more clothes in town ok? Some that fit you." _How could she be so miserabley jolly? _

"Well what am I supposed to wear in then? This?" I was normally one not to care how I looked but I just knew I was not presentable.

"Well, here, we can make it work," She said tugging on my hair with a brush that just seemed to magically appear in her hand. She twisted my hair into a braid and tugged on my clothes, brushed some poweder on my face and stuck a little pin in my hair. "There! Now let's go eat," she grinned happily, tugging me out the door.

**AN: Sorry for any typos in the last few paragraphs only have 2 minutes to get out of the library :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: No computer yet gah! Well anyhow I would still LOVE fanart :) I just wanted to make sure that I was clear in my writing when I say for example that someone smiles. Toph can see that with her earthbending or she can hear a smile in their voice, depends on the situation :) Just wanted to make sure I wasnt confusing anyone like I forgot she could see. Oh and I think you guys might like my other story called Disaster in the Dead of Night, its a short Korra story and very angsty... I've been called more of a monster than Amon AND Ozai for writing it teehee ^.^**

It was busy in town despite the crisp winter air. Katara had insisted I wear one of Sokka's spare parkas. I grudgingly accepted it and was soon drug off by the same waterbending master to buy maternity clothes that I was sorely past needing. We entered a little boutique specifically for pregnant ladies. Within only a few seconds I had a whole armful of dresses. I understood why Sokka and Aang had bolted when Katara told the we were going shopping. I entered a dressing room and was quite pleased when the dresses actually fit... and they were super easy to get on, not to mention comfortable. I opened the door once I was dressed in the first outfit for Katara to see. "Awe! Toph you look so cute!" She cooed. I slumped.

"Cute?" I deadpanned.

"Well, yeah. That green just makes you look so... adorable," she giggled. I rolled my eyes.

"So its ok then?"

"Oh yes."

"Good. Let's go," I said flatly.

"Toph," she crossed her arms, "You're going to need more than just one maternity outfit."

"Ok, ok," I whined going back in the dressing room. The next dress I tried on fit securely around my chest and tied in a bow right above the swell of my belly. It was flowy and brushed against my ankles. After Katara affirmed it looked good, I tried on a pair of pants and a tunic. They were a little small so Katara gave me a size up. Next my hands landed on a courser material than the other clothes. From what my fingers and palms could tell this dress dipped to just below my collar bone and was basically a straight shot down to my ankles. It had long sleeves that were lined with the finest layer of... _Jackolope fur that's what it was. _Regardless, it was warm and would be great for cold evenings like this. My waterbending friend told me that the blue fabric looked so pretty against my skin. I told her I liked how warm it was and she scurried off to get me more long-sleeved dresses.

I finished trying on the (what felt like thousands) of outfits and got four fur-lined dresses, two lighter dresses and three pairs of long pants with a shirt for each pair. I left in the blue fur-lined dress I liked so much. I had noticed Aang and Sokka arrive a few minutes earlier and the pair was waiting for us outside when we left. Sokka stumbled from his lazy lean on the wall and just didn't move. Even _I _knew he was staring. Blood heated my cheeks and I scuffed a newly leather clad toe in the frozen dirt. It muffled my vision but only in the slightest. Besides, I didnt want my toes dropping off. "Wow, Toph, you look really... pretty," he stuttered.

"Thanks, Chief," I replied just as shyly. I heard Aang and Katara snickering under their breaths. I took the liberty to throw Aang fifty feet in the air with a well-placed earth pillar, but he just floated back down laughing. _Stupid airbending bald-headed Avatar. _

"Let's go eat," Katara chuckled leading us down the street. I jumped when Sokka's large hand snagged mine up. He lifted my knuckles to his lips and brushed a feather-light kiss against them. I could feel the smile on his mouth. It only made me blush even more. Then he leaned over and pressed a quick peck on my cheek before Katara and Aang could spot us. Then it made me ponder why Katara wasnt asking a million questions about me and her brother. Aang had definitely seen us earlier. I guess he just hadn't told her yet. Sokka held the door open for me once we reached the little diner where we would be eating. He even pulled my chair out for me. I smiled and punched him in the arm. He sat across from me, next to his sister, with my airbending friend by my side. I got a heaping plate of muscovy duck meat with a side of pickled cucumbers. Oh, and a tall glass of leechy juice.

Dinner was warm and full of laughs, eliciting strange looks from other tables, especially when Sokka and I engaged in a belching contest. Katara and Aang were cracking up as they tried to hide under the table. I punched Twinkletoes just for the heck of it and declared myself the winner. We had our fill and left well after the early sunset. Sokka grabbed my hand and dragged me off the very second Aang said he wanted to take Katara shopping. I found myself laughing as we darted around and through the crowded street. As silly as it sounds, we played a mild game of hide and seek tag which ended with his kissing me on the lips once he caught me.

He captured my hand in his again and led me off to a stall selling various items. Something cold and wet suddenly landed on my nose. "It's snowing," we both said at the same time. We laughed at eachother and he tugged me along to another stall. I waited patiently as he glanced over the items. Suddenly he was wrapping something around my neck. "What is this?" I asked.

"A scarf, to keep you warm," he said quietly as he took special care to tie it around my neck, making sure it covered the chapping skin on my collar bone. I shivered when his cold fingers brushed my skin.

"Thanks, Sokka, that's really sweet," I blushed.

"You're welcome," he said back. As we walked along the streets in silence I took the time to study the people around us. It was quite busy and noisy but not like those hot summer days when everyone was hurrying around to get their shopping done and return to their cool houses. This was a different kind of bustling, it was happy. Everyone seemed to be out enjoying themselves. Venders were shouting out their goods, luring people in to buy hot drinks and other tried to sell their cold-weather clothing. Sokka led me into a warm building which I quickly identified as a book store.

We said hello to the owner of the shop and then I was tugged along as Sokka sifted through the dozens of books on the shelves. "Young Ming must search the fire nation and his heart to find his true love he met so many years ago," Sokka read in a sappy voice. I laughed and he put it back on the shelf. "How about this one, ahem, "A man named Jing finds himself in the icy clutches of the north pole. He isn't sure how he got there but and he's determined to get home. But everything changed when he meets a mysterious girl, but, she's a ghost."

"Oh, please," I snorted.

"I was thinking the same thing." The sound of leather sliding against wood signaled the replacement of the strange book. We went through Tui knows how many books searching for just the right one. surprisingly enough we found it in a book claiming a love story of peril and disaster surrounding a young Fire Nation couple. We left after purchasing it and walked down the streets again. "You know, something just hit me," Sokka said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you haven't been baby stuff shopping," he announced as thought he had just made a clever discovery.

"Baby stuff shopping?" I scoffed. I shook my head and smiled. "Well, what do you propose? Neither of us know anything about babies, how are we supposed to know what to buy without Katara?" I challenged.

"I think we can do it, I _am _the plan guy after all," he smirked.

"Well babies need blankets," I said.

"To find some blankets!" He shouted, flinging his arm in the air. I elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow! Must you feel the need to do that?" I nodded sharply. "I can't wait until I can just tackle you again."

"You couldn't do it even _if_ the universe didn't want to prove you wrong."

"Pffft!"

"You spit on me," I deadpanned.

"Sorry," he answered mischievously.

Hours passed and Sokka and I were laden down with various "baby stuff". "What on earth?" Katara asked upon seeing us. "What's all this? Toph you shouldnt be carrying all that!" She chastised piling my things into Aang's arms.

"Well, my dear sister, we took it upon ourselves to prepare for the little bundle of joy," Sokka said matter-of-factly with his nose in the air.

Katara eyed the load in his arms suspiciously. "Sokka what is this!? A baby doesn't need a war club!" She yelped.

"I told you we didn't need it," I muttered.

She sighed and looked over her shoulder at Aang. "Well, you did get a few things right; the blankets and clothes and bottles." We all started to walk back to my house slowly. "So what do you plan to do for a crib?" She asked.

"Well I was thinking of earthbending one so I could feel everything that goes on, and maybe using a nice fluffy fur-stuffed mattress."

"You should use Koala-sheep wool, it's very comfy," Aang piped in. We all laughed at the memory.

By the time we reached my house, Katara had to bend the three inches of snow away from my front door so we wouldn't drag it the house. Katara set to work starting a fire in the living room fireplace. When I had built the house, Sokka had taken special care to install a piping system that would heat the whole house. It was good idea but it didn't work as well as we all thought, but it did raise the temperature by a few degrees. Sokka and Aang put all the stuff I bought in my room, with me tagging behind them. "What happened in here?" Aang asked, bending the snow drift on my floor back outside.

_Crap! I didn't fix that!? He couldn't find out I did that because I was totally distraught that my clothes didn't fit! And Aang was sure to interrogate me about it later. The less he knew the better! _"Oh, uh that's nothing, nothing at all! Thanksforcarryingallmystuffs hoobye!" I sputtered pushing him out of my room. I shut the door and let out a relived breath.

"So what exactly did happen?" I screamed when Sokka spoke. I forgot he was in here!

"Nothing, like I said," I chuckled nervously stomping a slab of stone up with my heel to repair the damage. I shrugged innocently. He laughed and sat down in the chair, pulling me into his lap. His hands found the back of my neck immediately and he pulled my lips to his.

I couldn't help but giggle from surprise. He laughed in his throat and kissed me harder, trying to demand a kiss in return. I teased him and kept pulling my lips away from his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a heated kiss. It burnt all the silliness right out of me I kissed him back immediately. His hands found my hips and my arms snaked over his shoulders. After a few minutes of... making out... I guess one would call it, I pulled back and leaned my forehead on his shoulder. "So you think I'm pretty?" I asked, remembering his words from the boutique.

"No." My fell into my stomach. "I think you're beautiful," he said in a husky voice, giving me a chaste kiss. He'd never used that tone with me before and it sent chills down my spine. He settled his hands on my waist and gently pushed my feet back onto the floor. My favorite warrior started a warm fire and told me goodnight, giving me one last kiss.

Three weeks later and something was pecking impatiently at my front door. Sokka closed our book and Aang went to investigate. "Well hi there friend," he said cheerily as a messenger hawk hopped inside. He shook the snow out of his feathers and gave a powerful stroke of his wings and landed on the counter. Aang patted his head and took the little scroll from his back. I heard the paper unroll as he read it. "No way."

"What?" Katara and Sokka asked at the same time. It took Aang a second to answer. "I hope this letter finds you all in good health," he read, "I wished for my our closest friends to be among the first to receive the announcement. Mai is carrying the first heir to my throne-" Aang was caught of by Katara and I screaming like little girls.

Crazy talk was coming out of our mouths as we blubbered over a little fire baby. "Anyways," he said with a shake of his head. "My Fire Lady is doing well and will be ten weeks along when this letter reaches you. Mai and I wish you all well, especially Toph -Love Zuko."

"That's so exciting!" Katara cried. Sokka got up, leaving a cold spot on my side.

"Hey, there's another one in here," he said taking another scroll from the hawk's message cylinder.

"You are cordially invited

to attend the announcement party of

Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Mai's first child.

A new era had begun under Fire Lord Zuko

and is now ensured by a royal heir.

To be held in the Fire Palace

at the next full moon.

Thankyou,

Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Mai."

"Well Toph is in no condition to travel," Katara said when Sokka finished reading.

"Thankyou captain obvious," I mumbled.

"You're welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm," she shot back.

I perked up. "That was bad, Sugar Queen," I rewarded.

"And I don't want to leave this close to the due date," Katara said. "You boys are going to have to go."

"But I don't want to leave Toph-" Sokka complained.

"Why because you like her," Aang teased poking him in the ribs. Sokka swatted at his hands.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

A blush instantly burned my cheeks and my heart raced.

"I knew it!" Katara cried, throwing her arm in the air. "I knew it! Did you know it Aang!? Cuz I knew it!"

"Yes, yes oh sleuthy one," I quipped. A sharp "awe!" followed after that... from Aang and Katara both.

"You already knew, Baldy!" I scolded.

"You knew? And you didnt tell me?" Katara asked. I rolled my eyes as Aang and Katara started bickering.

"Ok well now that we've established Toph and I like each other, who's going to the party?" Sokka said, silencing our friends squabbling.

"Like I said." Katara crossed her arms. You two are."

"Aw sis!" Sokka groaned. I wasn't exactly fond of that idea either. We had been attached at the hip for the last five months and I wasn't looking forward to being separated. But, in the end, Sugar Queen won out and it was decided Aang and Sokka would zip over to the Fire Palace, attend the party and come back.

The next few days we were all hurrying around making gifts for the little fire brat (and I say that lovingly). Sokka made a miniaturized version of his war club, Katara knitted together a soft blanket and Aang and I made something called a mobile. It was supposed to hang over the baby's crib to give him something to look out (and I was just _sure _it would be a boy). I made the frame for the spinning object with Aang's very specific instructions and after I was finished he covered it in cloth and put little stuffed animals on the ends. Once of course, was Appa, another Momo, a little red dragon and a Badgermole (I insisted upon that last one to make sure the little fire-breathing, ankle-biter knew it was from me).

Sokka and Aang were scheduled to leave on Appa in two days so I was spending every second with my favorite Water tribesman. Well, that is... until something very strange happened. I just got this... unyielding need to make a crib for my baby. It took me hours, Sokka keeping me company when it all reality he was really just pestering me to no end. I had never felt like something I made was more important and I built and rebuilt probably a dozen times before I was satisfied.

And then, another unyielding desire popped up in me; well now that it was built I may as well put blankets in it. I had Sokka go out and hunt me down some kind of animal so I could stuff a little mattress with it. While he was gone, I assigned Katara to sew together a few animal hides and leave one side open so I could put the fur in there. So Sokka was back and the mattress was filled to the brim and sewed together. Then I covered it with a soft blanket and folded another blanket at the top of the crib. _Well, now that the crib is done I should make a little shelf to put all the cloth diapers. _So I carved out a shelf in the wall, close to the crib and stacked all the little squares of cloth in it. _Hmm, everything feels dirty. _I went about washing everything I could get my hands on, and that would have included Sokka if he had left my room a second later.

I found myself disassembling the mess of "baby stuff" in the corner of my room and re-assembling it in various places. I made another shelf and folded all of the blankets (best I could, I'm blind thankyou.). Then I lined all the bottles in a row on the second shelf down. Next I hung the war club Sokka gifted me with when we were shopping, on a earthen nail. But something wasn't right. I rearranged everything on the shelves until it seemed right then I put new blankets and sheets and pillows on my bed. The next victim of my cleaning was the bathroom.

"What is she doing?" Sokka asked in a loud whisper behind me.

"Nesting," Katara answered.

"What?"

"Nesting."

"I know what you said but what is it!?" Sokka asked as though I couldnt hear him whispering.

"It happens when a pregnant woman prepares for her baby."

"Oh... but why is she cleaning?"

"I can hear you Meathead," I deadpanned. I felt his feet running off almost immediately.

I managed to make time the next day for Sokka being as he was leaving in the morning. Of course, I was all twitchy what with the kitchen still uncleaned at that blasted blanket tossed in the corner of the living room. So Sokka cautiously helped me clean that day and chalked it up as our 'last day' time together.

Appa's saddle was loaded and ready to go early the next morning. Katara and I stood in the snow, about to see our boys off for a whole weeks. Sokka climbed down from Appa's saddle and pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his parka, memorizing his smell so I wouldn't forget it. I knew I was being ridiculous, it was only for a week but I missed him already...it was kind of like losing an arm.

Aang and Katara embraced a ways from us and said their goodbyes. Sokka took his gloves off and stuffed them in his pocket, then he took cupped my jaw in his hands. "It's only a week," He said rubbing his thumbs on my red cheeks.

"I know... I'll miss you," I admitted.

"I'll miss you too," he said. He pulled my scarf up around my chin and rubbed his fingertips against my scalp. "Stay warm, I'll see you in a week, ok?"

"Kay." He leaned down and gave me a long, gentle kiss. As soon as he pulled back Katara shattered the peace.

"Ew! You two are kissing!?"

"Yes, dummy!" I yelled reaching down and making a snowball. I threw it at her and heard a very satisfying thud telling me I had hit my target.

"Come on, Sokka," Aang called from above us. I hated it when he did that, I could never tell where he was going when he airbent.

"Bye," he said pecking me on the cheek and scurrying off to climb aboard Appa.

"Bye!" I called after him, waving.

And then they were gone and out of my sight. Well, it was only for a week, I could handle that.

**AN: Sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes, it's not a time crunch this time, I honestly just feel incredibly lazy. Kind of a filler but when they get back, Toph will be 8 months and just who knows what can happen :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I am so sorry I havent updated in forever. I am absolutely no way abandoning this story, so have no fear! Nor will it go on hiatus. :) Trust me. Things have been a bit crazy so i havent really been able to drag my lazy butt up to the library and update. However I am going to try to give you a nice long chapter. **

That was the longest week of my life. I was bored out of my mind. However, this undeniable need to clean and rearrange all the furniture kept me occupied enough, I suppose. Katara tried to help me but I would send her off to town to get some useless and totally pointless item just to get her out of my hair. I stayed inside for it was snowy and cold. Nights were the worst. I was constantly missing Sokka's laughter and squirrelly personality. Pining over him usually kept me up all hours of the night, but I had constant company. My growing child gave hard kicks and punches as if to say "Play with me and stop sulking!" So what was I to do? I would tap my fingers on my swollen belly and receive a kick in return. We played this strange version of tag whenever he was awake. I found myself with my hands on my stomach more than usual. I was absolutely relishing the strong confident kicks and sometimes gentle nudges from my offspring.

To say I loved him or her to death was an understatment. I would gladly die for my child and more if that was even possible. I wanted my kid to have the best life I could give him. I was still doubtful of my parenting skills but I figured if I just did the opposite of what my parents did... well, we might be ok afterall. I would never let anything bad into this child's life.

I spent most of the days "nesting" or whatever Katara called it and I also became particularly fond of soaking in a hot bath for hours. Since I was unable to travel and Katara had to go into town for me, it was easy to catch daily soaks. She had come back just yesterday with a whole load of stuff. I should have suspected it when she took a makeshift sled with her. It took her forever to bring everything inside from the blistering cold, especially when she ordered me to sit on the couch and not lift anything. I had rolled my eyes at this and even pouted a little. eventually she allowed me come and see what she had bought.

There were all sorts of various baby things. Little toys, clothes, blankets and some kind of special pillow, for what purpose it held I had no idea. It took us the rest of the day to put everything into the storage shelves I had carved into my walls. She had also brought back a copious amount of food with which it became difficult to even find a place to store.

We had a quick dinner and then I was back to locking myself in my room and making sure everything was perfect for the kid. I was thoroughly tired by the time I dragged myself into bed. I was quite angry that Sokka's tunic no longer fit over my ridiculously huge belly. So instead of wearing it, I cradled it against my chest and buried my nose in it. Somehow it still smelled of him, but the scent was fading. I would force him to wear it when he got back.

I was sitting on the couch one day with my annoyingly swollen feet stretched out beside me. It came to a complete shock to me when there was a painful tug in my hips. I ignored it the first time and went back to daydreaming. But when it happened again I cried out in pain. Tenderly, I place my hand on the inside curve of my hipbone and bit down on my lip. I cringed when there was another jerk on my muscles. I put my feet on the floor and sat up all the way. All of a sudden my muscles clenched together in an excruciating version of monthly cramps. Another cramp shivered in my loins and I panicked. _Was it happening already?_"Katara!" I yelled out. "I think I'm having this kid right here on the couch!"

"What!?" She cried from her room down the hall. I felt her come scurrying to the living room. "What's happening?" She asked.

"I don't know, you tell me, oh knowledgeable one!" I snapped out in pain. "All I know is that it hurts!"

"Let's get you into your bed then and we'll see what's going on," She said as though I hadn't said anything at to her. She held onto my elbow and helped me lay down in my bed. I could feel panic roiling under my skin as I tried to control myself. _I was going to be a mom. _I knew this day was coming but now that it was here, I was terrified and joyous all at the same time. I heard hurry out of the room then return a moment later. She pulled from her waterskin and pushed my shirt over my belly. She hummed curiously and then went back to checking over my stomach.

It was odd feeling the slightest tug and push of the water inside of me I'd never really thought about it before. Sure she had patched me up plenty of times before, and given me regular baby checks. Oh well. More important things right now. "So?" I asked after nearly five minutes.

"You're not going to believe this, Toph," she said with a small chuckle.

"What? Not going to believe what?"

"You're having false labor pain?"

"False what?" I blurted in confusion.

"It's just your body thinking about having your baby."

"What do you mean 'thinking'!?" I snapped.

"It's nothing to worry about, really. They're just false pains."

"Just false!? Well they sure feel real!" I yelped.

"That's not what I meant," she said hurriedly. "Of course they're real pains just not real labor cramps." I glared in the direction of where I thought she was. "It just means you won't have the baby yet," she said, in hopes to comfort me or something.

"I know that, Sugar Queen!" I growled. "But that's doesn't fix the problem that I feel like my insides are being ripped apart!"

"I'll make some of that special tea now," she answered sweetly.

"What tea?" I perked up at this.

"It'll help, trust me."

And so I drank the blasted tea and it did work. That was good news. But where there is good news, there is bad news. The bad news: I was put on bed rest._ Yeah. Right._

I made good on that 'bed rest' and deliberately ran from Katara and her demands for me to get back in bed. It gave me a nice morale boost. Days passed like this. I would purposely be up and doing things (usually eating) and when she started to scold me. I literally ran from her...well, waddled. It was quite fun, actually.

She had finally, _finally_, got me settled on the couch when I felt six legs land outside. I bolted from the couch and tore out the door. I didn't even bother with shoes or a coat, I was too caught up in getting to see Sokka for the first time in a week. I realized I was giggling like a mad women when the wind whipped my fits of giggles into the blowing snow. "Toph!" Oh it was so good to hear his voice again! "Toph, what are you doing?" He scolded from atop the massive bison. I didn't care that I was in trouble with him already, I was too excited to see him.

He slid down one of Appa's legs and ran towards me. Before I could even hug him, or kiss him, he had me scooped me up in his arm. "You're gonna get sick," he said carrying me into the house.

"Oh, you worry too much," I laughed. Once we were back in the warm house, my feet had just touched the floor when his lips were suddenly on mine. I smiled and kissed him back with just as much fervor. His arm snugged around me and held me against him as tightly as he could without hurting the kid. His lips closed over my again and again. I had missed him so much, and apparently he missed me too. I ran my hands through his hair, tugging it out of his wolftail in seconds. My cheeks were hot and when he suddenly jumped back I feared I had done something wrong. "What?" I gasped, trying to catch my breath.

"Your baby just kicked me!" He laughed. He put his hands on the side of my tummy and leaned his face down. "And just how are you?" He greeted me child.

"Stop," I laughed. He ignored me and planted a kiss on the top of my belly. My breath caught in my throat. _He- he really loved my baby._ I was frozen as he stood up a little straighter and gave me a light kiss on my lips.

"So how have things been around here?" He breathed against my ear when he pulled me into a soft embrace.

"Ok," I answered back, thawing out from my shocked stupor.

"How was the party?"

"Fun, but it would have been better if you were there."

I blushed and rubbed his shoulderblades under my palms. "How was Mai?"

"Pregnant."

I burst out laughing. "Really now, smart guy?" I teased. "She can't possibly be showing yet."

"Oh! They sent you something! Iroh too!" He released me and scurried out into the cold to retrieve these gifts.

I was shocked when he set everything on the floor. "Did they send me the whole palace!?" I yelped in surprise.

"Not quite, but Iroh was going to, Zuko had to stop him before Appa's saddle overflowed," he chuckled.

"Wow," I said softly as my fingers brushed over fine silk. As Sokka and I sifted through all this magnificent gifts I found blankets, baby socks, stuffed turtleduck toys (those came from Zuko specifically). I didn't understand why he, of all people would send them, but I loved them regardless. Mai had sent a sling that I could use to carry the baby against my bosom when I was up and about. Iroh, oh Iroh. He gifted me with a sturdy tea set, scrolls upon scrolls of children's stories, fine silk robes and pajamas, fancy pins for my hair, rich soaps, lotions and perfumes, a thick mat for my baby to play on when he got older and everything else one could imagine. He had even sent me a note that Sokka read to me after we got everything taken to my room.

_My dearest Toph,_

_I hope you and Jr. are doing well! It is so exciting to bring a new life into the world! I remember my own Lu Ten when he was born, I was just sure I was the happiest, proudest man alive. I hope this letter finds you in good health. I can just imagine how brightly you are glowing my young friend! I sent some things for you, new mother. I hope they help you relax. _

_I hear Sokka has taken a fond liking to you. The young man could not stop talking about you! _

I could imagine him laughing as he wrote that.

_We all missed you very much at the celebration but it could not be helped. I have never seen Mai so happy before. And she smiles! Who would have thought! She seems nervous and Zuko will not stop fluttering around her! He acts as though she will break into a million pieces! She will not have it though, in fact, I saw her throwing her knifes yesterday in the courtyard. I will not mention it to Zuko though, he would surely have a heart attack!_

_I must come visit soon! I would love to see your house, I hear it is beautiful! Ah, and the baby! I cannot wait to meet him or her. And of course, I would love to see you again too, Toph. I hope you have an easy birth and a healthy baby! _

_Love, Iroh_

_PS: I hid some tea inside the tea pot. It is Jasmine, your favorite. _

Sokka set the note aside on my bed and pulled me closer under his arm. "I'm so glad to be back," he sighed.

"I'm glad you're back too," I responded. He kissed the top of my head gingerly. His hand was warm on my belly and underneath my palms. I traced his scars over and over as though I had forgotten them. I felt complete again, nestled up against him like this. The day's excitment took it's toll on us and we both fell asleep, just like that.

I woke up with my blanket tucked in around me. I was warm and comfortable, feeling just like a rabiroo inside it's mother pouch. I would have fallen back asleep too if my baby hadn't roundhouse kicked my bladder. After I went to the bathroom I waddled into the kitchen, one of my new shawls wrapped around me. Katara was making breakfast, Aang hovering around her, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her neck and telling her sweet little jokes. It was almost sickening but I couldnt help but smile at them. They were both so happy, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sokka startled me when he kissed my lips gently and tugged my hands into his. I smiled and blushed and let him pulled me over to the table to eat. After a breakfast filled with laughs and jokes Aang and Katara said they were going outside to play in the snow. I almost wished I could go too, but tucked under Sokka's arm as he read to me was far better a way to spend the day.

I cried silently when Hinto was dragged away by the police, accused of kidnapping Lin. It would have been so bad if Sokka hadn't read it with such emotion and if the autor had kindly left out Lin's sobs as she fought against her fathers grip to give him one last kiss. I was so mad I was crying. _Stupid Zuko-like moodswings!_

unfortunately, Sokka and I were pulled away from our book by our mutual hunger.

Over the next three weeks I noticed Sokka acting a little sketchy. He seemed to hang around Katara and Aang at strange intervals. But, he still nearly his whole day next to me, rubbing my stomach, telling me jokes and reading to me every night.

Those stupid false labor pains attacked me at the most irregular times. Sokka held my hands and nuzzled his nose in my neck comfortingly when those happened. Katara was giving me daily examinations by now. Everything was going well, so that always lifted my spirits even more than they already were.

It was late evening and we were all sprawled out in the living room. Aang's head was in Katara;s lap as she traced his arrows with her index finger and I was leaning against Sokka's chest on the couch as he read. I was sad when our book came to a close but it was a happy ending. Hinto proposed to Lin and it all ended with a passionate kiss under a sakura tree. I laid my head against Sokka's strong chest and smiled. He closed his book and wrapped both arms around me, burying his nose in my hair.

"Well, I'm gonna turn in," Katara announced with a yawn.

"Me too," Aang said, standing up and giving Katara a kiss on her forehead. Sokka and I spent our alone time in the living room in silence... and kissing. Eventually though we both headed to bed. He gave me a sweet, slow chaste kiss before he headed off to his own room.

I was so totally happy and content that night. I was warm and cozy reveling in the cacoon of blankets Sokka had tucked around me with care. However, I woke up what only could have been two hours later with the strangest sensation. There was something warm and wet on my inner thighs. And then it hit me.

"Badgermoles are go!" I practially screamed.


	16. Chapter 16

My heart raced as I kicked and tore the blankets off of me in a panic. Aang, Sokka and Katara were all scrambling into my room, half asleep. "What's going on, Toph?" Katara asked me, sobering into total alertness.

"I-I think my water just broke," I choked out.

"What!?" Aang and Sokka both shrieked.

"I told you I'd scream 'badgermoles' when it was time!" I snapped.

"Get out," Katara ordered. Aang quickly and happily took his leave but Sokka lingered a second longer. I was scrambling up into a sitting position as Katara hurried around the room gathering pillows and blankets and changing them out with the ones that were rumpled around me.

"Bleeding hogmonkeys!" Katara bit out. "Aang!" She yelled as she put a pillow in the small of my back.

"What do you need?" The Avatar asked.

"I need to buckets, one with water in it the other empty."

"Can do," he said buzzing off on an airscooter.

"Don't destroy my house!" I yelled after him.

Almost an hour later the first contraction took hold of my muscles. _Shoot, this isnt bad, I can do this! Piece of cake! _Katara kept a close eye on me, checking my every few minutes with her water. She made sure I was comfortable, got me a glass of cold water and a little basin incase I got sick to my stomach.

Once she stopped fluttering around the room, preparing for everything she came and sat down at my hip and held my hand in both of hers. "Are you nervous?" She smiled. I nodded weakly and sighed. "Do you have any questions?" She asked.

"Yeah. How is all this supposed to happen?" I asked, even though I had asked that same question a hundred times before.

"The contractions will get closer and closer together when the baby is closer to coming. They'll get worse but after your baby's born it won't hurt like that anymore," she said brightly. "You'll have to deliver the afterbirth next."I groaned loudly. "Don't worry you won't even feel it," she said patting my hand. "And I'll clean up the baby and then you'll get to feed him for the first time." I nodded shyly. I felt like my head was whirling. I was going to have a little baby in my arms in a matter of hours.

Katara left periodically to keep the boys calm. The first time she came back laughing. "Oh, Toph you should see Sokka, he's green!" I didn't know what green was but I knew it meant he was on the verge of spewing. And it made me laugh.

The second, third and fourth contractions were no worse than those false labor pains I'd been having. Katara left again and came back with Sokka and Aang in tow with her. Sokka immediately grabbed my hand and sat down next to me. Aang was going on and on about how excited he was. I couldnt help but smile broadly at him. He was still that goofy twelve year old trapped in a man's body. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and wished me good luck when Katara said they had to leave. Sokka pressed his lips to my forehead and didn't move for what seemed like an hour. His pulled back with tiny 'smack'. "Good luck, I'll be right in the living room if you need me ok?"

"Kay," I whispered. He gave me quick kiss on my lips and patted my hand before he left.

I heard the wind kick up outside and then a few minutes later ice plinked on my window. Katara threw another log in the fire. "When it gets closer I'll get it nice and toasty in here. It'll help the baby relax. This is a big event for him too," she giggled.

Four more hours passed, each muscle spasm becoming more and more painful. I had bit my lip stubbornly, refusing to cry out. It seemed all was calm, except for the storm raging outside. I was glad I had built that shelter for Appa. And upon thinking of Appa it led me to wonder how Momo was doing. Did he have little lemur children by now?

I was jerked out of my thoughts when my muscles clenched in my hips. It hurt so bad and I yelped in pain and surprise. Katara patted my hand briefly and then checked me out again. She said I was dilated normally, whatever the Tui that meant. When pain bit it's teeth into my muscles again another cry escaped my lips. I let my foot hang over the edge of the bed and my toes brushed the floor. Now at least I could see and it instantly made me feel better.

Another few hours passed and I had given up trying to be silent when my body was overcome in pain. My back was beginning to hurt unbearably. Everything had been calm for too long and I just knew something painful was coming. And my, my, my did it come. I felt like my lungs locked up and my pelvis was breaking into millions of pieces. It seemed as though I was detached from my body when a screamed ripped free of my throat. It was then I noticed I was sweating and breathing like I had just run to the North Pole.

That next hour was when I began to doubt I could do this. It just hurt so much. My body tensed and writhed as another contraction seemed to tear my muscles apart. That was the one that made me start crying. "Katara, it hurts so much," I choked out between sobs.

"I know, sweetie, I know," she comforted as she ran water over me, checking to see how the baby was positioned in the birth canal. Suddenly white hot pain seared into my muscles and I let loose a blood curdling scream. I gripped the sheets in my hands and cried out again. It wouldn't stop! It wouldn't stop! Was I dying!?

"Take deep breaths, Toph, it's ok," Katara said from her position by me feet. I curled my knees up in agony. After that everything seemed to spiral out of my control. I heard water draw from one bucket, wash me and then splash back into another.

Everything hurt, the contractions were so bad and only minutes apart. _How could anyone do this!? _I screamed again and threw my head back against my pillow in agony. "In through your nose and out through your mouth." Katara coached. A sob shook my shoulders and I only wished it would all stop. "You're doing great, you can start pushing now."

"P-pushing? What- what does that even mean, Katara!" I cried.

"Just-" she was cut off when my body bore down on it's own. "That's actually exactly what you're supposed to do," she encouraged in pleasant surprise. And so I did. Oh it felt like hours I had been pushing and crying and sweating. I cried out in pain, nearly defeaning me to my own laments. "I see the head, come on, Toph!" I pushed down hard so desperate to end this agony. "You're doing splendid, good, Toph, good."

And then exhaustion came over me and I just quit. I was tired, so tired. I let my eyes fall shut and my head loll to my shoulder. I tried to catch my breath, tried to escape reality through sleep, but that blamed waterbender wouldn't let me. "Toph! Don't give up now, you're almost done." I shook my head weakly. And dragged in a deep breath. _Don't make me Katara, don't make me. _"Just one more big one ok?" _Please, no. So tired... _"Come on stay awake, Toph. I know you're tired, I know." I just wanted to give up. I couldn't possibly do anymore. Everything hurt so wickedly. "Toph Beifong! You are not a quitter! So give me one more push and you'll have your baby right in your arms!" She demanded.

And then I remembered what all this pain was for. I wanted to meet my baby. And with a horrible scream and one push... I was done. "You have a girl, Toph." I let out a breath and fell back into my pillows. "Here she is," Katara said gently. Something warm, wet and squalling was suddenly on my chest. I brought my arms around her and cried. I cried from happiness, something I never thought I would do. She felt, so- so perfect. A little laugh passed my lips. I had a daughter. And I only loved her all the more. She was mine.

Katara lifted her from my chest, assuring me she was only going to wash her off and that she would be right back in my arms. My eyes fell shut involuntarily. I had never, ever, ever, been so happy and content in my entire life. I thought I was happy when Sokka and I had those tender moments, but they were so dim compared to this. I was nearly asleep when Katara handed me my whimpering child in a soft blanket. I held her close to my chest and ran my index finger over her tiny, soft features. I didn't even notice Katara cleaning me up, delivering the afterbirth and putting a towel between my legs.

I faintly heard her bring in a sharp intake of breath. But I was much too preoccupied with this perfect little girl in my arms. Tears slipped down my cheeks and a huge grin couldn't be supressed. I folded her blanket back and found her toes. There were ten, just like mine, and ten little fingers just like mine. And I wished with all my heart I wasn't blind. A little sob came out at that, I wished I could really see her. I made to move my legs off the bed and tap my foot on the ground to give me a better look at her but Katara grabbed my ankle and made me stay still.

What was I going to name her? I hadn't even really thought of that. I gave her little kiss on her nose and she made the most adorable little 'mmm' sound I had ever heard. I let my head rest back as I held her little palm between my thumb and index finger. "Toph, I need you to stay awake for a few minutes ok?" _Why?Why?Why? I'm so tired. _I didn't protest and forced my eyes open. My baby was quiet, making soft noises. I could hear her breathing, feel her heart. She was everything I could have ever hoped for. Katara bit something out but I didn't really care at that moment. Her little hand wrapped around my finger and I smiled and sniffled.

I wasn't sure when Katara was finished doing whatever she was doing and left the room. But then I heard Sokka's voice in a low, soft volume. I smiled and tilted my head to better catch his words. "Come here, Snoolzes," I said weakly. The bed dipped beside me and his breath was hot on my face.

"Toph, sh-she's beautiful," she breathed. His arm brushed mine as he reached out to touch her. My baby gurgled quietly at the contact. "What's her name?" He asked me. I was silent as I thought. I wanted her to be strong, independent, determined. And then it hit me.

"Lin." I whispered.


	17. Chapter 17

How are you feeling?" Sokka asked pushing my damp bangs from my forehead.

"I'm tired," I answered quietly. Little Lin gurgled and squirmed. I ran my fingers over her cheeks and tapped her nose gently. I rocked a little side to side, I was too exhausted to do much else. She nuzzled into my breast and made a small noise that melted my heart. I loved her so much. Sokka leaned over and inspected her. I felt him stroke her outside cheek with the back of his finger. I worried for a second that his rough skin might scratch her, but I knew he was being extra careful.

He breathed a sigh of contentment and I let my eyelids drop shut. I couldn't fight sleep anymore. I curled my arms tighter around the little bundle of blankets that cacooned the most precious thing in my world. I felt myself drift off within seconds.

Later, Katara rocked my shoulder, waking me. "Hey," she said happily. I just knew she was smiling.

"Hi," I croaked, my voice hoarse from screaming. I felt... clean. Katara must have taken the liberty to change the sheets and clean me up. I blushed, embarrassed.

"I think Lin's hungry," she offered.

"Oh." I moved my leg to put my toes on the floor and groaned. I was so sore. But, I managed to check the room for Sokka or Aang and found it empty save for us three girls. Katara rest Lin in my arms and I cradled her close to my chest. Katara helped Lin get started and my, was she her mother's daughter; a greedy eater. The closeness of feeding Lin her first meal was something I couldn't describe. I felt those metal cables tug tighter in my heart, and it only made me love her all the more... _if that's even possible. _

Within a few minutes we had both dozed off and before I completely fell into sleep I felt Katara take Lin from my arms and tug my shirt back up. I was so glad she was here to look out for me and Lin. When I awoke the next time I heard Katara humming prettily and pacing the floor with my baby in her arms. I smiled and rustled around to let her know I was awake. She turned and came back to my bedside. "Feeling better?" She asked.

"Yeah, but I'm sore, that's normal right?"

"Yeah," she smiled. Placing Lin against my chest she said "She'll probably need fed every few hours. It's important for her to get colostrum."

"Huh?" I asked as Lin began to suckle.

"Colostrum, it's this special form of milk mothers have for the first bit after their baby is born. It's full of antibodies and all that good stuff to get Lin off to a good start," she explained cheerily. I blushed out of pure embarrassment at my lack of knowledge. I wished my mother had explained all this stuff to me when I was younger. At least then I wouldn't have felt completely lost.

Lin stopped suckling soon after that and I felt my heart sink a little. "Isn't she supposed to drink more than that?" I asked worriedly.

"Don't fret, Toph," Katara chuckled. "That's normal for babies sometimes. I promise she's as healthy as an ostrich-horse."

It was quiet for a moment as I tried to coax Lin back into drinking. "Thanks, Katara... for everything. I really don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been here."

"Yeah... Listen, Toph, there's something I need to tell you," she said glumly. It scared me a little. She just got through saying Lin was healthy so what could be wrong. _Oh, spirits. Is she blind? Blind like me? _Tears sprung to my eyes at the very thought. _Have I cursed her already? It was my fault. I couldn't do anything right. _A fat tear rolled down my cheek. "I don't really know how to say this..." she began.

"Is she blind?" I blurted.

"What? No, oh no, Toph! I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. She can see, she can see, I promise."

"Then whats wrong?" I asked a little harsher than I meant.

"You can't have anymore children."

Everything crashed, the blood in my veins froze, I felt numb.

"W-what?" I choked out.

"I'm so sorry, Toph. I- I tried everything." Her voice shook and her head fell in her hands. "I did everything I could. But when those men attacked you in the alley it, did something. I don't understand wat happened but it's- it's for your own safety that you never have another child. I'm sorry, Toph," She cried.

I could only hear my own breathing. Everything was unsteady, I felt like I was floating outside of my body. I didn't know if I wanted more children but I loved little Lin so much that I didn't want to rule out more children so soon, but now...

"You bled a lot while you were labor. I got it stopped before it did any real harm, but you just bled so much and- and after whatever damage that near-miscarry caused, whatever that was caused you to bleed more than you should have," she sobbed. "And now your uterus is damaged and it's just not safe for you to even be pregnant, let alone carry to full term. You could bleed out next time, or actually miscarry, and there may not be anything I can do about it."

My mouth opened and closed like a fish. I couldn't say anything. It wasn't her fault, and I wanted to tell her that but I felt like I couldn't even breath. I blinked and realized I was crying. I swiped my tears away with the hand that wasn't cradling Lin's head. "It's not your fault, Katara," I said unsteadily. "A-and I have Lin, she- she's all I need. We'll be ok. We'll be ok." And then I couldn't hold myself together any longer and broke out in sobs. I felt arms wrap around me and heard Katara's sniffles as she comforted me.

"You're right, Toph. You will be ok. And Lin is perfect and beautiful."

"Thankyou," I sniffed.

After I had calmed and Katara softly explained to Sokka and Aang I that I was to be barren, she allowed her brother to come in. I could feel Aang trying as hard as he could to get a peek through the door. I smiled and shook my head. "Hey," he said softly, sitting down next to me.

"Hi," I said back.

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't pity me, Sokka." I warned sternly. I heard the door click as Katara left to distract Aang. I heard Sokka huff... he sounded... _angry_?

"What about me, Toph?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, baffled.

"What if, what if- we get married or something and I want more kids?"

"What?" I breathed. My heart beat painfully against my ribcage. Adrenaline flooded my system. Was he-? "Are you proposing to me?" I managed in a whisper.

"I- you-" he sighed. "No." He mumbled something I couldn't decipher.

"Oh. Um..." I blinked awkwardly. And in that moment I was glad I was blind so I wouldn't have to look at him. "Do you want to hold her?" I offered, holding Lin out towards him. I heard him gulp.

"Yeah," he breathed. He took her from me hesitantly. I was glad one of his feet was touching the ground because with my toes brushing the floor, I got to see him interact with my baby. "She's perfect," he said quietly. Lin made one of those heart-melting little noises. _He loves her. _And, despite everything, I couldn't have been happier.

After Sokka and I spent some time with eachother and Lin, Katara and Aang joined us. "Hey, Twinkletoes," I greeted.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt? Everything went ok right, cause, golly, it sounded awful. You were screaming, and then crying and-"

"I was there, Aang," I deadpanned. "But yes, I'm fine." I felt him creep closer and peer into my arms at Lin. Gosh, he reminded me of a curious child, which, in a sense, he was. "Would you like to hold her?"

"Yeah!" He grinned. He sat down at my hip and took Lin from me very slowly and carefully. He seemed like a total natural. Lin burrowed her nose into his chest, looking for food but she wouldn't find any there. It made me and Katara giggle like school girls. The boys didn't know any better. "She's really cute."

"And squishy," Sokka chimed in. I reached over and punched him in the arm.

"My child is not squishy."

"But-"

I hit him again. "She's gelatinous." That got a rise out of all of us. I was so, so thankful all my closest friends were here with me. After Katara broke out from her stitches of laughter she said "Toph, you must be hungry, let's get you some food."

"Sounds good to me," Sokka piped in. I punched him in the arm. "Ow!" he whined. "You know, I'm going to have a big bruise after all this."

"I'm making up for lost time. And when I get fully healed, I'm going to kick your butt. Remind you who's really in charge around here."

"In your dreams girly!" He fired back. And then at that moment, Lin chose to let out an ear-piercing cry. Aang handed her back to me and I rocked her gently, shhing her.

"Maybe I should try feeding her again," I mentioned. The boys took that as their cue to leave and bolted from the room. Katara laughed and shouted after them to heat up some bread before she shut the door gently.

As it turned out, Lin was hungry _and_ needed a diaper change. Katara guided me through that. I got the hang of it pretty quickly. Later, I ate and then evening fell and both Lin and I slept peacefully, well, except for the three times she woke and demanded food. Other than that, she was the perfect angel.

We spent the next morning cuddling, getting to know one another, her little hand fisted around my index finger the whole time. I knew her features like I knew the back of my hand by the time Katara came in with my breakfast. She told me she wanted me on bed rest for a while until I healed. I acquiesced, grumbling. I knew she was right. This time.

Sokka was sitting or laying next to me almost all the time. He read to me and napped with me, holding onto the baby's hand or settling his hand on her blanketed foot. Everything was perfect. A week passed and I quietly celebrated with my baby for her one week birthday. Katara allowed me to start walking around some.

Then two weeks went by and Katara encouraged me to let Lin sleep in the crib. I blatantly refused at first but then I gave in and grudgingly laid her in her crib once Lin had fallen asleep.

Another week passed and Lin was growing like a weed. I was so pleased at her progress I was smiling all the time. Sokka said he'd never seen me so happy. And I told him I'd never _been_ so happy.

Then, one day, as I was sitting in the living room, a knock came at the door. Even before Aang opened the door I knew it was my old tea-making friend.

**AN: Hoped you liked it. And as I feel this was an inadequate amount for an update, I posted a Korra one shot for you guys to read too :) It's called "Monster" Oh and fanart? I got my first (yay!) and I would LOVE more.**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: You guys are seriously the best! Your reviews are so nice and sweet! Gah I love it! I would have never thought I would 30 reviews let alone over 100! Seriously, you guys are the shining little light in my life! I love it! Fanart? would love some :) Story is not over, still more left to write. Enjoy!**

"Iroh," I smiled, standing to greet him.

"Hello, Toph!" He smiled happily. "Avatar, Master Sokka, Lady Katara," he greeted the others. "Where is my precious gem?" I grinned and pulled the blanket farther under Lin's chin and presented her to General Iroh. "She is beautiful, just like her mother," he said softly resting a palm on my cheek. I blushed and smiled.

"Would you like to hold her?" I asked.

"Of course! Just let me take my shoes and coat off," he said. I went to sit on the couch, Iroh following closely behind. I passed Lin to him and he cradled her against his chest. "Oh, and I brought a few things," he said innocently.

"We'll get it," Aang and Sokka gulped before heading outside. Apparently Iroh had hired a small carriage. I could feel the ostrich horses shuffling out in the snow.

Lin cooed and opened her eyes from her nap. She stared (well at least pointed her head in his direction) at Iroh. I was afraid she might cry but them her hand shot out and grabbed his beard. The ferocious Dragon of the West burst out laughing and removed her chubby hand from the wiry hair. "I need those, little one," he chuckled "It's cold outside." I smiled and tucked one chilly foot under my leg, the other resting on the floor.

Sokka and Aang came back in the house, arms full of various things. "Ah, good!" Iroh grinned, getting up and swishing his fingers on my arm, motioning me to follow. "I brought you more 'mommy gifts', soaps, sweets and other such things. Oh and tea! Lots of tea!" He grinned.

"Thankyou, you really didn't have to do all this you know?" I smiled giving him a one-armed hug.

"And for the little tea leaf I brought this," he said shoving something huge and soft into my arms.

"What is it?" I asked, but after getting a good look at it I knew what it was. "Oh! A stuffed badger-mole! Iroh that's so sweet!" I cooed.

"Only the best for some of my favorite girls."

I blushed and we went back to sit on the couch while we caught up. Letters could only tell so much afterall. Sokka soon shanghaied Lin into his arms which freed Iroh up to make us all tea. We crammed around my table and chatted as Iroh told us how Mai was getting along, how flustered Zuko was and all things of the like. Sokka tapped Lin's nose playfully and rubbed her belly, eliciting smiles from her. She hadn't quite learned how to laugh yet.

I zoned out after a moment, distracted by Sokka and my child. He hardly let anyone hold her, save me of course. Snoozles always made sure she was in his arms or at least within a five foot radius. I couldn't held the warm smile that touched my lips. He was absolutely smitten with her. A kind, fuzzy feeling roiled and floated in my chest thinking about them. _I loved them. _Them_!? I loved Lin for sure but- I could feel the same coziness in my chest when I looked at Sokka as when I looked with Lin, it was different but... also the same. _

I almost sent myself into a panic attack but luckily Iroh set down a cup of tea in front of me, a glorious distraction from my thoughts. I took a large gulp and hoped no one noticed me guzzling it. I crammed a lemon cookie in my mouth and tried to act natural. _Did I love Sokka? Of course I did, rather, the question was; am I _in_ love with him? _

I didn't want to answer that question right now.

We spent the rest of the day visiting with Iroh, who held Lin for a long time, on and off, simply gushing over her. When it was time to settle down for the evening I cradled Lin and leaned into Sokka's chest as he read. Iroh sipped on tea and Katara and Aang sat together contentedly. Everything was wonderful.

Iroh left a week later. It seemed empty without him. I then began to wonder when Aang, Katara and Sokka would leave. Afterall, they had lives to get back to. It hurt when I thought of Sokka leaving, I couldn't even begin to imagine life without him again. Looking back before I was pregnant, life seemed unbearably dull compared to how things were now.

I noticed Sokka creeping off during the day and spending hours outside, in town or who knows where else. He also started to cling to Aang like a gopher-tick. It was all rather peculiar.

We received a letter from Zuko a few weeks later. He told us Mai was doing well and that she and the unborn baby were perfect and healthy. Even though Zuko always wrote with an air of sheer dignity and pride, we could all tell he was bursting-at-the-seems-excited. He wished all well and sent a special kind of Fire Nation delicacy called a Lollipop for Lin to try when she got old enough. He said all babies in the Fire Nation started out with these strange little hard balls of sugar on a stick as their first hard candy. So when Lin began to nibble at solid foods I allowed her to lick the lollipop to death. It all turned into a sticky mess but she seemed to throughly enjoy it; smiling, giggling and reaching for it with chubby,greedy hands.

Sokka also received a private letter from Zuko, no one else noticed except for me, via earthbending and all. Of course I couldn't tell what it said but whatever it was it was probably none of my business anyways. A few days later and he seemed to go into town with a new attitude than before. The curiosity was killing me but I was too busy with Lin to investigate.

It came to a surprise to us all when Lin could push herself up on all fours. She rocked back and forth trying hard as she could to crawl. It was a humorous, delightful little achievement.

Katara was watching Lin for me so I could take a nap but upon walking to my room I heard Sokka mumbling from his room down the hall. I tiptoed down the hall and stood next to his closed door. It was only him, so he must have been talking to himself. It was so typical for him I couldn't help but smile. "Zuko said... last in Jung-Ling... probably headed for... only a days journey... didn't know...so close. Monster... no one messes with my best friend."

Everything clicked into place. Those secret meetings with Zuko at the palace, the letters... they were going after Jai Ling. My heart soared at the thought of my rapist being brought to justice but a lead ball dropped into my stomach at the same time. I was finally starting to become whole again and now, he was so close, so present in the forefront of Sokka's mind... in a sense, he was in my home. I shook my head and wrung my hands. I just wanted to get away from him. I was so thankful that Sokka cared about me so much but at the same time that gratitude was tinged with a little bit of bitterness.

I practically ran to my room and tried to figure out what I was going to do. _He had been hiding this from me for- for months!_ I was angry at him for that, but I could hardly blame him. I knew he had kept it secret from me because he didn't want to drag me into it all. I was grateful for that. It was really considerate. _But, did I want revenge?_ I didn't know. I buried my head in my pillow and forced myself not to cry. After debating this for a while I had come to at least the single conclusion that I couldn't let Sokka know I knew about his plan. I didn't know when he was leaving or where exactly he was going but I knew he was going to face Jai Ling... and what that meant exactly I didn't know. Upon further examination I came to the decision to leave Lin with Katara and Aang for a few days and follow Sokka. He wasn't going to be the only one allowed to get revenge.

I kept a close ear on him for nearly a week. I noticed he had started packing and spent more time in his room looking over maps and main highways. He also became more agitated and serious.

And then, I caught him sneaking out one night. It was time to move. I waited for and hour before I reached under my bed and snagged my little travel bag and slung it over my shoulders. Lin was fast asleep in her crib and didn't even stir when I kissed her goodbye. I felt like such a horrible mother for leaving her like this, but I had to do it.

I would have left a note had I known how to write but alas, I didn't, so that was not an option. I would get the third degree from Katara when we got back but I could deal with that when it came time. I assured myself Lin would be safe and well cared for with Katara and Aang while I was gone.

I had waited long enough to stay out of Sokka's sight. It was difficult to see him properly with all the snow on the ground, not to mention the thin animal hide shoes I had to wear to fend against frostbite. I walked all night, following at nearly two miles behind him. I could just make out his footsteps from so far away. I was cold and tired and grumpy when I finally felt the vibrations of a village a few miles ahead. I picked up my pace so I could be close to Sokka in case he found Jai Ling here. I could intervene quicker that way.

I felt the first rays of dawn on my face, I welcomed them gladly. My cheeks were numb from the cold. I was quickly distracted when I thought of Lin and how she was doing right now. I was so guilt-ridden with leaving her like that, that it felt as though I had boulders tied to my feet. However, I was snapped back to attention when I felt Sokka's calm stroll break into a sprint. He was just up ahead. I had surprised myself I had covered so much ground.

I ran through the early-morning shoppers in the streets, trying not to get too far behind Sokka. I was bumped and tossed between the villagers as I tried to push through them. Then, a familiar heart-beat reached my senses. I froze in my tracks, cold sweat broke out over me. It was _him. _Panic stirred in my belly and my heart started beating wildly. I was just meters from him. He was in a back alley building, Sokka at the door. Could I do it? Could I face the man that had destroyed me? I had to.

I pushed all my fear down and gathered the hardened, war-time temperament of my childhood at twelve.

Sokka entered the house. I could almost hear their voices from here. I felt Sokka reach for his war club and that was my signal to run. If Jai Ling was going to die, he would die at _my _hands. I pushed and shoved through the crowd. I felt the first blow fall on Jai Ling and I forced my way harder. Suddenly, the crowd broke and I stumbled into an alley, scraping my knees through my pants. I scrambled towards the building Sokka and Jai Ling were in. I could hear them shouting now.

I didn't bother with opening the door properly. I rammed my shoulder into it, breaking the rickety door off it's rusty hinges. Both men, sweaty, bruised and bloodied stopped fighting and turned to look at me. "Toph?" Sokka croaked.

"How's my girl?" _His _voice slithered. The statement snaked through the air and coiled around my body, slipping into my ears with a seductive caress. A chill flew down my spine as my memories came flooding back.

I was sitting against the tea shop wall with him. _"Just for you," he said handing me the cup. _My eyes were falling shut and the tea cup slipped from my fingers and tumbled to the ground. His lips were on mine, back pressed into the hard floor of a wagon. His mouth was on my neck, teeth nipping at my skin. I was pregnant. I was scrubbing my flesh raw. I was sick to my stomach. Sokka was there. I told him what happened. It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault.

I slammed my heel into the ground, throwing Jai Ling into the far wall. I lifted fist-sized rocks and hurled them towards him. A rock pillar slammed into his ribcage, tossing him aside where another pillar threw him across the small room.

"You ruined my life!" I screamed hurling razor-sharp earth at him. "You took everything from me!" A flat of stone slammed him face first into the floor. I lunged for him. My fingers caught in his shirt and I jerked him upright, slamming him into the wall behind him. My hands latched around his throat and I squeezed. "You monster!" I slung him against the wall again and again. A hand uncurled from his throat and balled into a fist that collided with his mouth a split second later. I punched him, I kicked him. He had no time to guard against my blows except for feeble attempts at grabbing at my clothes or closing a hand over my arm. I swatted away his defenses easily.

"I hate you!" I screamed. It was then I noticed I was crying, knuckles covered in blood, fresh scratches and bruises from my unbridled earthbending. I had never felt so enraged or so desperate before. I stepped back and raised spikes and pillars of rock around him. "You sorry excuse for a man!" My arms were in the down-swing to kill him when someone wrapped their arms around me and pulled me backwards. I struggled and fought against them, trying desperately to salvage the crumbling stone... to kill _him_.

I was sobbing. Strangled cries ripped from my throat, mangled screams wrenching through me. "Toph, stop." Sokka's calm voice said into my ear. I clawed at his arms. "Stop," He said firmly. I was so tired. My crazed thrashing slowed into pitiful kicks and sobs. I slumped into his arms and cried. I shook from exertion. He held me against his chest, his hand cradling the back of my head, pressing my cheek to his chest. I fisted my hands in his tunic, burying my nose. I was so confused inside. I was sad. Terrified. So full of rage. I cried harder, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

"I'm here." His voice was like the very land he came from; Cool, calm, balanced. I pushed my body into his, seeking every bit warmth and comfort he could provide for me. His nose brushed the top of my ear. "I love you, Toph. I love you."


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Seriously guys every SINGLE one of you I thank from the bottom of my heart for the feedback! LOVE YOU! Don't worry this is not the end of the series an epilouge shall follow :) Oh! And I would really like some feedback about this chapter. I want to know how you feel about it's modesty. Was I too... I don't know, forward? You'll understand as you read. Thanks a million!**

Even through my crazed stupor I heard those words loud and clear. _"I love you." _And without a doubt in my heart I answered. "I love you too." He wrapped me tighter in his embrace and held me together. He had always been there, ever since the beginning. Even when we first began traveling together he was always there to keep things smooth between me and the rest of the group. And now instead of a being like a soothing ointment on a burn, he was the glue that held me together. He had been for the past few months. He was the best part of me.

I heard and felt Jai Ling's lungs struggling to pass air through his blood-flooded windpipe. I wanted to hurt him. He deserved so much more than what I had already done. I kick and clawed pathetically as Sokka lifted me into his arms and stood. I pushed and pounded against his chest, starting to cry again, but he only held fast and carried me away from the building where my rapist lay. I was too compromised to tell if he was really dying or not. I didnt care if he did.

I fell limp in Sokka's arm, admitting defeat. I could already feel the stiffness in my muscles. I hadn't earthbent like that since before I as pregnant with Lin and my body was paying the price. Before I had registered what was going on, Sokka had slung me around to his back and hooked his arms underneath my knees. I felt like a child, riding piggyback, but I was too worn to care. He carried me through the snow-dusted streets. I was drifting between awareness and I barely remembered being sat down and the sound of a tarp being shaken out.

It was a tiny tent Sokka had made, even if we both scooted as far away from each other as possible we would still be brushing shoulders. But it was too cold to bother with such petty matters. He had only brought enough supplies for himself which meant only one sleeping bag and a tarp large enough for he only. And in my haste I had forgotten a sleeping bag, but it didn't matter, we still would have wound up squeezing into one. We laid with our chest touching, something we'd only done a few times before. It was more... intimate like this, something new to both of us.

A blush creeped onto my cheeks and ears when I found my arms pinned between us, his strong arms around my shoulders holding me flush against him. He was so close, and so warm. I wished I could see what he truly looked like, the color of his eyes, the tone of his skin. But, I could see his every move, every change in breath, every heartbeat. I got to see his inner workings, what truly made Sokka Sokka. I cozied into his chest and let out a content sigh. His arm shifted and the curl of his index finger was under my chin. He lifted my face to his, his warm breath floating over my face. A shiver ran down my spine, and not from the cold. "You're so beautiful, Toph." His lips touched mine tenderly and softly as though I was a delicate piece of bone china. Being treated this way from Sokka held different meaning than when I received like treatment from my parents... or anyone else for that matter. I would have hated it, but this was special, he was special and he made me feel special, loved. I pressed my lips against his demanding more than just a soft kiss. He obeyed my command with fervor and before I knew it my fingers had tugged his wolftail free and the rough heels of his hands were under my shirt on my waist.

I shivered at his touch. It was new it was different and it was addictive. I had to push him away when he pinned me on my back, kissing my neck passionately. "Slow down," I panted, voice quivering. He stopped immediately and laid back down beside me, our legs intertwined at the ankles.

"Sorry," he muttered pressing a sweet kiss below my ear.

"It's ok. I just need... more time." It was true in two aspects. I was still shifty about anyone touching me intimately and regardless that I was no longer a virgin, I was still going to wait to be married.

"I understand." And I knew he did, and not only did he just understand, he was ok with it. He was ok with waiting... well at least me waiting, I did really know about him... waiting... and besides it wasnt like we were potentially going to get married or was quiet while I worried my bottom lip with my teeth. _Was it really ok for me to ask? _

"Sokka, did you um... ever... you know..."

He understood right away. "Once. But after that... I decided I wanted to wait for my wife, and not a girlfriend or fiancée, but my wife. I don't know it just seems more special that way. You understand."

It wasn't a question. I understood. Understood more definitely than he would ever know because I had that choice ripped away from me and now... my first time, my real first time, would be even more important and more special. "Yeah," I murmured.

We arrived home to a very relived pair of master benders. "Oh, you're ok!" Katara cried jerking her brother into her arms. "Yeah-

"We're fine," I finished. Lin, who Aang held, immediately perked up at the sound of my voice and her chubby hands grabbed in my direction. I immediately burst into tears and snagged her from Aang. I held her close to my chest and ran my hands over her soft form, making sure she was unchanged from two days ago. "I'm sorry, Lin, I'm so sorry," I cried kissing her forehead and burying my nose in her wisps of hair. I heard Katara and sharply scolding Sokka. I didn't want to stick around for what lashing she would surely give me. I locked myself in my room and sat on my bed, trying to rein in my sobs. I missed my baby girl so much and I felt _so __guilty _for leaving her like I did. I would never do it again. I promised her that. I cradled her to my chest and allowed her to suckle as I rocked her side to side. I hadn't realized I would miss the unique comfort of a mother with her child at her breast _this _much.

Katara allowed me nearly a whole day with Lin, but when evening came and Lin had been put to bed for the night, I walked into the living room and waited for the sting of her words. And they came- they came in an onslaught of sharp scolds and reprimands. I was already well aware of all the things I had done when she repeated them back to me. I felt so _horrible. _When Katara saw the tears rolling down my cheeks and the silent cries I forced back she came and hugged me tightly, saying she was sorry but that she was just so angry. I told her not to say such a thing. I deserved everything she said and more, I knew I had done wrong.

Aang and Katara said they would be leaving in a few days, whenever the next break in the weather came. The snow was finally starting to melt, but spring came with sharp, cold teeth and freezing rain. Not exactly prime flying weather to say the least.

A few days later and Aang announced he could feel a shift in the wind; warm weather. At that news Sokka suddenly became very nervous and secluded. He was acting strange again... not that strange was anything different than what he normally was, but this was different. He was acting like he was before he received that latter from Zuko.

On the day Aang and Katara were to leave, early in the morning, Sokka convinced me to let them have the last few hours with Lin and took me down to the creek. However, upon my arrival I found something to be a bit out of place. "Oh, Sokka! A picnic!?" I grinned. I hated to admit I was being a totally diz-brained _girl _but it was just so hard _not _to be with Sokka around. He really thought up some romantic stuff. Ever since we had come back from the confrontation with Jai Ling, Sokka had started treating me to official dates. Official and _fancy _dates.

Ok I lied. They weren't fancy but they were very well thought out and romantic. I loved it. I'm not going to lie.

He had taken the liberty to set out a soft blanket under a blooming Sakura tree. It smelled wonderful, not to mention the pleasant, clear gurgle of the creek. The spring birds had even begun to come back from their winter travels and sing. In the center of the blanket was a little vase of wild flowers. He must have searched forever to find some that were almost fully bloomed. It made my heart race. "I love you," I murmured into his ears, standing on my tiptoes. I could feel his face flush and I smiled.

And hour later found us both laughing hysterically at some joke Sokka had told. I wiped a tear from my eye and caught my breath. I reached over and grabbed one of the sweet-cakes he had packed for us. At the same time, he had reached for the same one and our fingers brushed. But when I tried to pull away, he wrapped his calloused fingers around my hand. He shuffled over on his knees and sat down behind me. His fingers found the little knots in my shoulders where they had kinked from me getting back into the swing of regular earthbending. "Mmm," I moaned, letting my head fall back on his chest. I could feel a smirk tug at the corner of his lips.

After a few minutes I noticed his heart rate speed up exceptionally. It had been a little fast all morning but now it was blatantly obvious he was nervous. He stopped rubbing my shoulders and his hands touched his thighs. "So they're been something I've wanted to ask you for a while."

I sighed, my muscles loose and relaxed now. "And what's that?" I asked rolling my shoulders.

His hand dipped into a pocket. "I wondered if you would marry me?"

My. Whole. World. Stopped.

Marry him? Marry my very best friend? The man who I had know for a decade? My glue? The best part of me?

"Yes," I whispered twisting around to face him. "Yes!" I threw my arms around his shoulders and he kissed me hard.

"I- love- you- so- much- Toph," he said between kisses.

"I love you too Sokka, Spirits I love you too," I cried joyfully. We pulled away and he rose to his knees and shuffled behind me. "Well, I guess you'll be needing this," he said as a cool stone touched the hollow of my throat. My fingers immediately reached up to touch it. _How hadn't I noticed it before? It was made of stone for crying out loud! _It was smooth, probably a rich, rich jade. I could feel and see the perfect partnership of an earth kingdom symbol within a water tribe symbol. "It's perfect," I smile as his hands left my neck.

"I love you."


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: let me just start with saying every single one of you are amazing! beyond amazing! I can't believe it over the 150 reviews mark! never in my wildest dream had I imagined that! I hope this ending satisfies you and if there's something missing message or review and I'll see what I can do because I want you guys to be happy with how this story comes to a close :) LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! 3**

My hands were still shaking as we walked back to the house. I couldn't believe it. I was going to _marry_ Sokka. I never ever thought my wildest dream would come true. I had grown so much in this past year and now Sokka would be there for the _rest of my life _to change with me and Lin. He was the very definition of a good man. He loved me despite all my flaws, despite Jai Ling's attack on me. He really, honestly loved me. Lin wasn't even his child and he was willing to take her own as if she were his own. And... he would never have a child with me. I was barren. He wrapped his fingers through mine and we walked up to the front door. The new betrothal necklace suddenly seemed to weigh a hundred pounds.

Katara was sitting on the couch watching Aang and Lin play on the floor. The airbender was grinning like a mad man at Lin's big smiles at his antics. "Oh hey guys, have fun?"She asked without turning around. She was repairing a hole in one of Aang's robes.

"Yeah," Sokka said, his voice shaky. I hadn't even thought about how nervous he must have been... and how the adrenaline must be pumping through his blood.

"Toph, it was the funniest thing Lin-" She stopped dead in her tracks when she turned around to talk to me. "Is that?" I nodded, a grin breaking our over my face. "Toph you! Sokka!" She proceeded to let out the most girlish squeal I had ever heard in my life up to this point. She practically flipped over the back of the couch and grabbed us up into a hug. "Congratulations! I never thought you two would- well I mean I did but- and Sokka! I didn't think you'd have it in you!"

"Oh thanks Katara," he deadpanned, smiling.

"Sorry," she blushed.

"I was wondering if you were going to do it before we left," Aang grinned knowingly. He picked up Lin and came to stand beside us.

"What?" I asked.

"I helped lover boy with the stone, since I _am_ experienced myself," Aang said proudly, giving a sniff.

"You knew and you didn't tell me!?" I yelped punching him in the arm.

"Ow, I promised Sokka I wouldn't!" He whimpered.

"That's my girl," Sokka laughed wrapping an arm around my shoulders and planting kiss on my temple.

"I can't believe you two are getting married!" Katara giggled. "And the wedding!? Oh Toph we're going to have so much fun! Your dress! What dress are you going to wear!?" She babbled excitedly. She reminded me of Ty Lee just then. "Oh and what's the wedding date!?" I was suddenly reminded of my own question to her a few months back.

"Katara, we've only be engaged for like two minutes," I smirked.

"Oh," she blushed.

I took Lin from Aang and she immediately took hold of the jade stone and smiled. "Things are looking up, Lin," I said into her ear.

**A year Later-**

The wedding was simple and quaint. Sokka insisted we have the wedding somewhere other than on ice because he said I deserved to see my own wedding. But I persisted and we got married at the South Pole. He had, of course, shipped a large boulder over on a ship and I bent it into a thin slab where we would stand for our vows. Lin was our flower girl. She looked absolutely beautiful with her black curls gathered into a little ponytail at the top of her head, walking down the aisle in a miniature ceremonial parka. When she threw the flower petals (an earth kingdom tradition that signified new life and new seasons) she thought that some were just too pretty and picked them back up and put them back in the basket to sort through later. The guests had their laughs and giggles over that. In Water Tribe tradition only the bride, groom and chief were allowed at the front of the ceremonial building, so Katara snagged Lin when she got to the end of the aisle and helped her look at the flower petals while Sokka and I said our vows.

My cheeks were burning when I saw him. He was dressed in traditional furs and when he saw _me, his _cheeks were burning. I had a dress created just for me for my wedding day. It was not the furs of the South Pole but a dress from the earth kingdom. However, pelts were sewn in as lining to ward off the cold despite the fire blazing behind Hakoda. It was silky and flowing, nothing really quite seeming to follow a distinct pattern. I was told it was in shades of blue and silver.

The ceremony afterwards was that of food, laughter and dance. Sokka performed a traditional Water Tribe dance around me in the center of the larger, community building. It was striking, the movements he made were ancient, the ways of the hunter and warrior and yet, it was a story. A man hunted and fought for his woman, courted her married her and had children. It was the very legend of the origin of the Southern Water Tribe. After that, he and I danced an Earth Kingdom style dance, holding hands, chests touching. Everyone joined in after that. Mai and Zuko had even made it. Mai was now holding a new baby in her arms, Zuko standing proudly as a new father.

After the ceremonies were over we were ushered into an igloo Sokka had built on the outskirts of town, another Water Tribe tradition. He had taken things slow, never pressuring me, constantly asking if I was ok. I was beyond nervous, I was scared. Terrified. Not only because of the worries a new bride has with her husband but also because of Jai Ling. I wouldn's allow that monster to ruin my wedding night. But, Sokka was experienced, he was kind and so very gentle with me. Our wedding night was exactly that of fairy tales.

We flew to the Fire Nation for our honeymoon, Katara and Aang keeping Lin for us. Zuko had lent us his summer home on Ember Island. It was the most magical two weeks of my life. We were so completely in love. I never thought I would end up like this, and with Sokka none the less.

We picked up Lin from the Southern Air Temple where Aang and Katara, now married, were making a home for themselves. She was overjoyed to see us. Katara reported my little toddler had been the perfect angel and had a blast while we were away. Sokka was more than anxious to hold her so I passed her to him before I really wanted to. We left the Air Temple soon after and renovated my home. Sokka had lots of ideas in mind and our house became the test subject.

Lin was two and had a wonderful vocabulary. She was speaking in full sentences, almost carrying on conversations with Sokka and I. It was mid-summer, we were playing down at the creek when she asked the question we'd been holding our breath for. She and Sokka were standing at in the shallows of the water holding hands when Lin looked up and said "Daddy?" It was such a simple word, one we had discussed at night when she was asleep. We'd used it a few times and now, now she finally used it. Sokka glanced over at me, avoiding Lin's big green eyes for a moment to collect himself, he was a little shocked. He'd waited more anxiously than I had for that word

"Yeah honey?" He replied. Lin smiled broadly and started babbling nonsense, an actual word surfacing every few seconds. I grinned at my two favorite people in the entire world. My beautiful daughter and my very best friend, playing in the water.

"Fishy!" She cried excitedly, pointing at her feet. I laughed and she looked back at me on the bank, grinning. She reached down in the water and splashed her hands, successfully scaring off the little fish. But, her mood was not to be dampened. She found a shell, tugged her hand from Sokka and presented it to me proudly. "For you, mommy," she smiled.

"Thankyou baby girl! I think Daddy would like one too," I suggested. It was strange calling Sokka Daddy, but it suit him so well. Lin dashed off to find one for her Daddy and I sat on th bank, watching them. A messenger hawk screeched and landed on the ground near me. I unlaced the little message and held it out to Sokka when he and Lin came over to see what it said. He crouched down, Lin between his knees and read the letter.

"It's from Aang and Katara."

_Sokka, Toph and Lin,_

_We love you and hope you are doing well! _

_You'll never guess,_

_Sokka you're going to be-_

"That Polar Bear Dog! I'm gonna kill him, Toph! How dare he get my little sister pregnant!" Sokka ranted. I burst out laughing and pat him on the shoulder.

"You're going to be an uncle Sokka, smiled. You'll get to teach the little ankle-biter all about boomerangs and fighting."

He perked up at this prospect. "Hey, you're right."

"I'm always right."

He leaned over and kissed me slowly. "And you'll be an Aunt."

"And you, my little Gem will have a new cousin to play with!" I cooed picking up Lin and placing her in my lap.

"Oh, there's more," Sokka said, suddenly remembering the letter. "Hey, Aang and Zuko have a new idea!" He crowed. "Republic City." he said making a big arm with his hand as if reading the title.

**Three Years Later-**

"So Daddy's not really my Daddy?" Six year old Lin asked. We were sitting on the edge of her bed, trying to explain this to her. Sokka was beside himself with head in his hands, so I had to be the one to answer her.

"That's right, honey."

She thought this over for a while, then spoke. "Well that's ok because I don't want any other daddy. You're the best one," she said very maturely, reaching over and hugging Sokka.

**Eight Years Later-**

This was the worst thing that had ever happened to Lin thus far in her fourteen years. I had just told her she was the child of a rapist. Her tears broke my heart and all I could do was hold while she cried. She blubbered that she felt guilty, that she was sorry and I promptly held her at arm's length and told her not to dare think of herself as some kind of curse or mistake because she was the best thing that ever happened to me. "Even better than Dad?" She asked sniffling.

"Even better than Dad," I smiled.

**Two Years Later-**

I sat back on the couch and watched Sokka and Lin in the middle of the floor, fighting. I had been waiting for this moment and by Spirits I was going to enjoy it. I flicked a piece of mud off my police uniform and listened.

"I'm sixteen, Dad, I'm pretty sure I'm old enough to go on a date!"

"I don't think so young lady, I said no and that's final," Sokka growled back, throwing his hands in the air comically. How Lin could take him seriously and still be mad at him I had yet to understand.

"Oh come on! You were off saving the world at my age, I should be allowed to go out for one evening."

"I- you- we-... that was different!" Sokka stumbled.

"Mom said is was ok!" Lin argued, snapping her hand in my direction.

"No, no, no," I said wagging my finger back and forth, "I said ask your father."

"And he's saying no!" She almost whined. Lin didn't whine, it wasnt in her manner but she had come pretty close to it.

"Well, you can't anyways because he's your cousin," Sokka said matter of factly.

"No he's not dad and that's a pretty weak argument," she deadpanned, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sokka brooded for a moment. "Fine. But he hd better have you back here by nine."

"Thankyou, Daddy!" She said sweetly bouncing over and giving him a peck on the cheek.

She bounded off to her room to get ready. Sokka meanwhile, fell on the couch and mumbled to himself angrily. I smiled at him ad put a hand on his shoulder. "Tenzin... that little scumbag," he grumbled.

I burst out laughing and gave him a kiss. "She'll be fine."

He harumphed and continued pouting. "She better be... or he'll have to answer to Boomerang."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" I giggled. It was so true, I loved my life and our perfect little family beyond words. I was the happiest woman alive, I was sure of it.

_Fin._

**AN: I know it seems rushed but its an epilouge after all. I would love feedback, I can change or add things if need be. Love you lots and I hope you enjoyed this story. I do, however, need to know what you guys wants next.I have two ideas in mind for my next story. A Smellershot fiction or a Legend of Korra story with an OCxBolin. Let me know. And I really want to thank everyone that had been with me through this whole thing, you have no idead how MUCH it means to me :)**


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